Is it hunt Cat day, or what?
by DitzCat
Summary: An Aussie girl is running from a horrible guy and runs into middle earth, while there she kicks several guys and so forth
1. Default Chapter

The idea for this one just came to me one night. I don't know whether I'll keep going or not. It'll probably depend on reviews, so R+R if ya like it.  
  
I was walking in the patch of bushland near my house, when Greg tried to attack me. The entirely normalness of the day had lulled me, leading me to ignore the sounds of his approach. Stupid, I should have known that after I rejected him so publicly that his pride would have made him do something. So begins my story, on a sunny day when it seemed nothing could go wrong.  
  
Where I live is right near a National Park, and I'd decided to go for a picnic and read my book. I'd been stressing so much over my exams that I needed to calm down. When I got home from school, I changed into my bushwhacking clothes and packed a backpack with all the stuff I'd need. Mobile, a large drink bottle full of water, food, my book, and a first aid kit. I am smart enough to realize that in summer, particularly in Australia, snakes are more prone to biting then ever. I did not want to die from a snakebite. There are too many types of poisonous snakes round here. I wrote a note for my mother, telling her where I was going and when I expected to be back. Can't be too careful around here. Not only is the bush dangerous, but the people can be too. Unfortunately, I forgot that.  
  
"Sunshine, on my window, makes me happy, like I should be." I sing as I walk in the isolated bush. "Umm, la la la! I can never remember all the words. Ah well, where should I have my pic-a-nic? Picanic baskets!" I laugh, I am so glad to be not worrying. Then Greg blunders out from behind me. Greg is a guy that goes to my school. He believes that he is irresistible to women, so when I laughed in his face in front of all his friends and then kneed him in the groin when he tried to kiss me, it was unavoidable that he would do something. Ah males, and their testosterone fuelled egos. What would we do without them?  
  
"Caitlyn, you didn't mean what you said, right? You know you want me, all the girls do." His voice slurs over the words. I wrinkle my nose, what'd he do, fall in a brewer's vat or something? He reeks! He stumbles towards me, arms outstretched to catch me. I back away, if Greg got me in a clinch I'd be stuffed. He's built like a bear, and hairy like one as well. Probably why he does so well at footie (Australian Rules).  
  
"Fuck off Greg. I don't want to be your girlfriend, and honestly the thought of sleeping with you is disgusting. Go away, and I won't tell on you." Like hell I won't. I am going to the police for a restraining order or something, when I get out of this. I back away more as he advances.  
  
"You don' mean that. C'mere and I'll show you how wrong you are. Come here, pussycat. Oh god, Caitlyn, you don't know what you do to me." Now, he starts to whine. Christ, is there anything so pathetic as an almost man bawling? And pussycat? What has he been watching? I'd say he'd reading Mills and Boone's, but I'm not sure if he can read. In my thinking I shut him out a little bit, and he gets close enough to reach me. His slobbering mouth descends on mine, his tongue pushing its way in. So disgusting! His breath is strong enough to kill a horse, or some other large mammal. One of his hands is gripping my brown shoulder length hair painfully. I can't move, can't breathe! His other hand is groping my front, and then it slides underneath my top to fondle my breast. Dear God, this is so bad, and I can't think what to do! So I bite his tongue in my mouth really, really hard. He gives a half strangled cry, then withdraws clutching his mouth. He has tears in his eyes, I critically notice.  
  
Still holding my hair he starts to undo my jeans. I kick at him frantically, and one of my feet connects with his groin. Thank God! Another moaning gasp, and he sinks to his knees. I follow him down, my neck twisting. What in hell do I have to do to make him let go of my hair? I turn my head around and lunge for his arm. I bite it, grinding my teeth. So unclean!  
  
"AAAAHHHH! You fuckin' bitch!" He cries out in pain and he lets go of my hair to cradle his injured arm. I spit violently, trying to rid my mouth of the copper taste. I'm free! I jump to my feet and start to run, my backpack jerking on my back. "I'm gonna get you, Caitlyn!" I turn back to see him rise to his feet and begin to follow me. Christ, how thick is this guy? It must be all those head on tackles. They've affected his brain. When a girl bites you, knees you in the groin and bites your tongue, wouldn't that say to you that she means 'no'? To me it does, which merely confirms my idea that football leads to brain damage. I can still hear Greg crashing around behind me, so I keep running.  
  
Can he climb trees? I don't think so, accordingly I start looking for a tree to climb. Hmmm, that's odd, the gums are thinning out and all these European trees are growing. They look older then a couple of hundred years too. A large oak is right in front of me, difficult to climb, but nice and tall. I shinny up it like a frightened cat. I scramble up to near the top, and pause for a look around. I can't see him.wait! There, a blond head walks out of the bush. Greg is blond, so it's probably him.  
  
"Go home, Greg! I'm calling the police now, so just fuck off! Go fucking away! I'm going to see you arrested for attempted rape, so fuck off, ya wanker!" I get my mobile out of my bag. It's got no service! It's alive, but it won't let me ring anyone! What else could go wrong today? The person I think is Greg shows no sign of stopping and continues until he's standing underneath my tree. I press my palm against the tree and silently ask for help. Trees like me, what can I say? The leaves rustle around me, and I see that one strong branch points to another tree. I thank the tree and go around to the branch.  
  
I take a deep breath, and walk out along it. I bounce gently, it's nice and springy. I increase my bounces until I judge the time is right. Thank God for gymnastics! I leap out of the tree yelling "Dear sweet mother of God!" as I somersault neatly and coming out of it spread myself out to try and control my rate of descent, as I watch the tree that is advancing towards me. I stretch my fingers towards the branches, and latch onto them, the bark stinging my hands. "Phew! I am so glad to be alive right now." I whisper softly. Then I yell back to Greg "Nyahh, nyahh, ni nyahh na! I beat you, so sod off, ya fuckin' dickhead!" I can see the figure's upturned pale face, and then it raises a bow. A bow?! What is this? "Hey, if I spoiled your movie scene, or whatever, I'm sorry! I didn't know anything was going on." Jesus, he's still aiming at me! This guy must be seriously pissed! Can I jump again? I ask the tree, pressing a palm against its cool bark. The tree is happy to see the guy. Trees normally don't like people, it's the whole axe cutting them down type of thing. Therefore, if the tree likes them, I might like them too. I yell down to the figure, whom I know now is not Greg because he's wearing green, not red. "Alright, I'm coming down, so don't shoot me or something, ok?" Slowly I come down out of the tree.  
  
"Who are you, and what are you doing here?" So unfriendly, and he's dressed really weird. Like something out of the Lord of the Rings movie. His blond hair is tied back out of his face. What?! His ears are pointed! Oh Jesus.  
  
"Do you mind pointing the arrow elsewhere?" Gradually, he lowers the bow, still ready but at least it's not pointing directly at me. "My name is Caitlyn, and I was out walking until this total dropkick from my school tried to rape me, so I hurt him and ran away. Cool costume, are you shooting a movie, or a documentary or something? Anyway, if this is private land, I'm sorry but I wasn't exactly looking for any signs." The Government rents out land in Parks sometimes. So I've probably stumbled onto a movie, or a Medieval re-enactment Club.  
  
"What are you doing in the woods of Rivendell, human? There are no towns of Men near here for several days ride." Did I just hear this guy correctly? Rivendell? I smooth my hair back, exposing my ears. "Milady, I was unaware that you were Elven." His attitude goes from paranoiac hostility to one of surprised pleasure. Several other men dressed like the one in front of me step out from the trees. Elven? What is this guy on?  
  
"I'm not Elven!" I laugh.  
  
"Then, why are your ears like ours?" Hesitantly, I touch my ears. I do have pointed ears; I've been teased constantly about them. Freak! Screams an ugly memory. Fairy! Devil! My mother had always told me I got them from my father, the one I can't remember. He died in a car accident before I was born. I look a lot like him, judging from the photographs.  
  
"They're a dominant inherited family trait. My father had ears like mine. So?"  
  
"From which lands do you hail?"  
  
"Lands? I come from Australia, specifically the bit near Sydney." Why doesn't this guy know any of this? We're in the Ku-ring-gai National Park for God's sake. I didn't run that far.Did I? The guy's eyes are narrowed in surprise and suspicion now. What did I do now?  
  
"Why are you wearing such outlandish costume? Who are you really? " What was that, that he said? I've never heard any language like that, except.a niggling memory plucks at me. Tolkien! Lord of the Rings! This is Middle Earth, and these are Elves. What has happened to me?  
  
I straighten my back and stare haughtily at him. "I think that I need to see Lord Elrond. And Gandalf the Grey, he who you call Mithrindar. There is something wrong here, something of the Shadow." That snaps them, I can see it on their faces. Total shock with a touch of fear. The first Elf barks an order at the other Elves and they encircle me. We move out, towards the north.  
  
I like this story more as I go on. Caitlyn is quite a good character I think. Well, R+R all peoples! means Elvish, as I know like no Elvish at all! 


	2. 2

Continuing on..  
  
I walk unhappily with the Elves. Why am I here? My mind screams. The Lord of the Rings is fiction, which means it's not real! How did I fall into a story? If this has anything to do with Gandalf, I'm going to hurt him! He has a history of interference, beginning with Bilbo Baggins. Well, as far as I know anyway. I sigh and open my backpack. I retrieve my drink bottle and start rinsing my mouth out. Swear to God, I can still taste Greg's blood. The water is faintly pink, which is so, so bad! I nearly gag.  
  
"Are you injured?" The Elf asks disinterestedly.  
  
"No. The guy I told you about, I bit him." The Elf's eyebrows rise in disbelief. "Well, when you kick a guy in the groin 'cause he's trying to take your pants off without your permission, and he has hold of your hair and won't let go, you'd fucking bite him too. On his arm, but I bit his tongue too when he tried to kiss me. Such a bastard, really. I did what I could. I don't want to be raped by some guy, please, he stank of alcohol and I'd already said no before when he asked. It's a long story. This is really Middle Earth, isn't it?" He nods. I slowly nod too. "I was afraid of that."  
  
"Where are you from?"  
  
"A different world, one of Men. There are no Elves."  
  
"But your ears hold a striking resemblance to ours, and we are Elves. And what of your father?"  
  
"My father died before I was born. Maybe this.gate for a lack of a better word, works both ways. Maybe he was from here. If he was he never told my mother, or she never told me if he did. But she always had a thing about these books written by Tolkien. Perhaps she did know. In my world, Middle Earth is a setting from a series of tales for children and adults by a man named Tolkien. Perhaps he knew of your world."  
  
"Intriguing. Lord Elrond will be glad to make your acquaintance, I think. He is fascinated by unknown magic. You are fortunate that Gandalf is here."  
  
I grin ferally "If I find out that Gandalf is part of this, I am going to cause him pain. My mother will be worried sick. I'm all she has left, except for her work, and work is not the same as family." The Elf looks surprised at my certainty.  
  
"How did you do the jump, the somersault when you leaped from one tree to the other?"  
  
"I asked the tree. It pointed out a branch, and I jumped."  
  
"You asked the tree?"  
  
"Yes. I think that you, as an Elf would understand. Trees like me, and I like trees. I also get on well with animals. I asked the tree I jumped into whether it thought I could get away again, but it was pleased to see you. Trees don't normally like people, they are very good judges of character. So that was the reason I didn't try to jump again. The tree liked you. Thought very highly of you too." The Elf looks at me in amazement.  
  
"You talk to trees?"  
  
"Yes. Watch." I walk over to one of the trees surrounding us. One of the Elves goes to stop me, but the Elf restrains him. I lay my hands against its rough bark. It welcomes me, and is surprised at my thoughts of the Elves. They are tree friends, it tells me firmly. Do not be a silly seedling. They are good. Trust them. It is a very motherly tree. That is different to the gums back home, they are mostly male, and very autocratic. Dominating. This tree is softer, more full of life. I remove my hands from it, and am surprised to find that I am crying. I wipe ineffectually at the tears. The tree sounded like my mother.  
  
"What did it say?"  
  
"Basically that I am a silly seedling, and that you are good tree friends and I should trust you. It's a very motherly tree. Different to the trees I know, they're very masculine and solid. It's hard to be a tree in Australia, it's very dry, the weather's unpredictable and there's a drought at the moment. But they never complain, they are full of power. It's the introduced trees that weep for softer winds and gentler rains. It's not right to plant trees from a different environment in Australia. They pine for where they should grow, even if they look all right." I run my fingers through my hair, waiting for composure. I feel a leaf in my hair, and pluck it out. It is a gum leaf. I hand it to him. "Here, this is a leaf from a tree that is called a gum tree. I wouldn't think you had anything like it around here."  
  
He cautiously accepts it, turning it around in his fingers. "Odd shape."  
  
"Break it a little, and smell it." His eyes widen as he sniffs the aromatic eucalyptus scent. I miss home. "What is your name, anyway? You know mine."  
  
"I am Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of the Mirkwood Elves. We are on our way to see Lord Elrond."  
  
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I cry in infuriation. "Let me guess, this is about the One Ring, isn't it?"  
  
Legolas looks at me guardedly. "That is so. How do you know?"  
  
"That's right, I would get dropped in the middle of it. Sauron is on the loose again, isn't he? And there is trouble in Isengard, because Sarumon has gone over? GOD DAMNIT!!!" Legolas frowns at my angry outburst. "This is so not good! I'm leaving, I'll try to get home on my own, I do not want to go any further with you!" I turn to walk away into the trees. I do for a bit, and then I hear one of the Elves coming up behind me. I break into a run and go for a tree. I climb hastily upwards, ignoring Legolas' incensed calls for me to come down. I look downwards, and see him hand his bow and pack to one of the other Elves. He starts to climb up the tree's trunk. Uh-oh. He climbs fast!  
  
I thank the tree then go for another leap to the next tree. It's no less scary then the last time I did it. I climb quickly up again, and then do it all over again. I look backwards. Legolas is staring out from the first tree I climbed up. He goes to jump; I hold my breath then let it out as he makes it. I go for another jump, but I don't time it right in my haste. I fall screaming in fear to the ground, the branches of the tree whipping at me. I twist around so I'm facing the ground in a crouch and make my muscles loose. "Oof!" I hit the ground, but thankfully hear no snapping sounds. My breath is gone, knocked from me by the force of the landing. I wheeze quietly, and then rise unsteadily to my feet and shake my head clear of the mistiness. I start to run again, knowing that Legolas at least will follow me.  
  
I am ahead of them by a few lengths, dodging trees and bushes. I am panting for breath now, lungs straining. I glance backwards to see them running effortlessly, bows slung over their backs. Legolas must have told them not to shoot me. Thank goodness for small mercies. I turn my eyes back to the front again, and then nearly stumble as more Elves appear out of the tree line. What is this, hunt Cat day? I veer off course to a tree and scramble up it. Maybe I'll have a chance to catch my breath there.  
  
  
  
Who are the mysterious Elves? Are they even Elves? 


	3. 3

Next chapter, yay!  
  
  
  
I crouch in the tree, cradled by its branches. It whispers to me, telling me to return to the company of the Elves. I strain to catch my breath, to calm down. I peer downwards at the two groups. Blonds and browns, and they don't seem to be getting along. Wait a minute, the second group doesn't have bows. They're carrying swords, and large round shields. They're on horseback too. The two groups are arguing. I climb down slowly, wanting a closer look.  
  
"I am Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood, and I do not have to explain myself to a group of misbegotten Men!"  
  
"Really, Elf? I am Boromir, son to the Steward of Gondor, and I want to know who you were chasing."  
  
"It is none of your business! What are you doing here in Rivendell?"  
  
"Lord Elrond invited us." As they continue to yell at each other, I creep along a branch that juts out between the two groups. I swing down over it, holding on with my legs, upside down.  
  
"Hi. I'm the one Legolas was chasing." I stick my tongue out at Legolas, and look at the man who called himself Boromir. "My name's Caitlyn, and I am the daughter of Phillip, also known as Points. You can call me Cat, by the way. That's what all the people I like call me." Legolas looks like he's about to have a stroke. It's probably not good to have such a short temper for an Elf, but I can be extremely aggravating. Boromir smiles at my tone, and Legolas' rage.  
  
"I am pleased to meet you, Lady Caitlyn. May I ask what you are doing in the woods of Rivendell?"  
  
"I don't know. Magic was involved. I was running away from a very persistent guy, and then I turned up here in Middle Earth. I need to see Gandalf, but I object to Legolas' arrogance, so I ran away from him too." I waggle my fingers at Legolas. "Can I go to Rivendell with you instead?" Boromir nods. "Good, I feel safer with Men, I'm not used to Elves, despite Legolas insisting that I am one."  
  
"And why does he say that?" I flip back up on the branch so I'm the right way up.  
  
"I have pointy ears." I lower myself down by my arms, and then I drop onto bent knees between the two. Legolas grabs my arm. "Let go. I will not tell you twice." He doesn't. I shrug, and then kick him in the balls. If it works, why change a winning combination? Guys are so weak. He lets go and now the Elves have drawn their bows and are pointing sharp things at me. I step away from the writhing Legolas and go stand next to Boromir's horse. I scratch its ears and it whickers in delight. "I will tell Lord Elrond of your inexcusable rudeness when I reach Rivendell. Take your. Prince and go. I did not know that it was the custom of Elves to attack helpless women. Or perhaps it is merely those from Mirkwood?" I stare them down. The Elves return their bows to their backs and pick up Legolas. They withdraw, Legolas glaring at me with surprised pain. I told him to let go, and he didn't. Simple. I would rather travel with the guy that didn't try to grab me. Still, I feel a small squirm of shame.  
  
"Well, my lady, you fight dirty. I have never seen any one scold an Elf before either." Boromir sounds amazed. He shuffles backwards in his saddle and gestures to the vacated space. "Care to ride?" I nod, and grasping the saddle horn, swing upwards into the saddle. I take off my backpack, and hold it in front of me. I sit and pat the horse's neck.  
  
"I am from another world and have no qualms about kicking a Prince in the balls if he touches me and I tell him to stop. What's more, I have never met an Elf before. They don't exist in my world." Boromir's arms encircle my waist as he grasps the reins, and kicks the horse gently in the sides to start it walking. "I've never ridden a horse before either. We have vehicles we use, made of metal that we use instead of animals. We've mostly done away with need for them, making machines that do their work instead. I have never been able to rationalize if that's a good thing. Machines are cold, and animals are nice, aren't you?" I coo at the horse and scratch its neck. Its ears twitch.  
  
"Another world.Truly things are changing quickly." I hear the other Men and their horses start to follow us. "Men of Gondor are summoned to council with the Elves, and I heard that Dwarves were as well."  
  
"Well, I think that one of the wizards had something to do with my appearance on Middle Earth. Maybe Gandalf, maybe Sarumon, maybe another I have not read of."  
  
"Read of?"  
  
"There are tales of Middle Earth on my world. One of the Hobbits, particularly the one named Bilbo Baggins, one of the history of the Elves and one that is about current events. Except that it is in the past there. This is part of the book, and you are in it, and so is Legolas. Your actions will shape this world." I feel like a seer. What can I tell them that won't change events? I must try and warn Boromir of what the Ring will compel him to do. He will try to possess the Ring, and take it from Frodo and he will die. Shot by the Uruk'hai of Sarumon. But if I change that, will they still succeed in destroying the Ring? What can I do? Have I already changed events, by merely being here?  
  
"Interesting. What happened just before you arrived here?"  
  
"I'd decided to go for a walk in the bush around my house. The bush is different there. Less grass, and it's not as green because there's a drought. Different types of trees, not many birds. A guy that I'd rejected tried, but failed to rape me." I shudder as I remember Greg's attack. "He was drunk, otherwise I'm not sure I would have gotten away. Fucking dickhead with balls for brains. He thought with what was in his pants, not with what was in his head. So obviously, if I said no, and kneed him in the crotch, it just meant he'd have to convince me. That I was being a tease. That was the reason I never went out with any of the guys back home. All so fucking macho." I brood on the unfairness of life. Stupid men. Maybe Boromir is different, if I remember the Tolkien books correctly, all the men are gentlemen. Knights in shining armor, of a sort.  
  
"If you look ahead, through the trees, you will catch your first glimpse of glorious Rivendell, which few Men has seen for over three thousand years. Behold, the city of the Elves." He gestures with one hand, the other holding the reins. As the horse ambles through the last of the true forest, I see Rivendell. It is beautiful, more beautiful then the movie. Harmonic with nature. It calls to me, whispering to my angry spirit. The trees sing in welcome to one that was lost, and beckon me to commune with them. I can see the Elves below, and a party comes to meet us. 


	4. 4

I turn around and grin at Boromir "Let me down now. I want to talk to the trees. They sing." I lose myself in the ecstasy of it, then shake my head "So, I'll leave you here. Thanks for the ride, Boromir, son of Denethor, Man of Gondor." I slide off the horse, then think of something that I could give him "Wait, I have a gift for you." I rummage in my backpack, and then give a short bark of delight when my fingers close upon the rectangular block of chocolate. This morning, which seems an age ago, I had packed a block of Cadbury's Dairy Milk chocolate to savor while reading.  
  
I break off a row and hand it to him. He looks at it curiously, and sniffs it. "Eat it, I bet it's better then anything you've ever tasted. It's called chocolate, it's a sweet." I break off a row and begin to nibble at it. He cautiously tastes it. His eyes widen in stunned pleasure, and he starts to eat it faster. "I will say farewell to you now, perhaps we'll meet again in council with the Elves." I walk off towards the trees of the city. The Elves are coming closer to the party of Men. I don't want to converse with them just yet, so I do some dodging tactics. I turn back and see Boromir wave to me, and then turn to face the Elves.  
  
I swing my arms and hum as I advance towards the trees. They croon songs of home and hearth and heart. I have never met trees that have such human personalities before. Yet they sing of sorrow, of friends that leave for a home beyond the waves and leave them here alone. I nod; the Elves are leaving for the Land beyond the Sea, the Land in the West. I crouch down beneath one, hands placed palm down on its trunk. Instantly I am plunged into a whirlwind of sensation, feelings of growth, of what it is to be a tree. It's more active then you would suppose. Parasites to fight, insects to avoid, the birds that sing in its branches, the soil around its roots, a tree is aware of all near it, and other trees as well. Its song of nature is more powerful then any I have felt. Then a hand shakes me on the shoulder, and a cold sword tip slides underneath my jaw line.  
  
"What are you doing here, in the outskirts of Rivendell?" A hard voice asks. Oh boy, some other macho male to annoy me today. At the encouragement of the sword, I rise to my feet. I sigh tiredly.  
  
"Talking to the trees."  
  
"Talking to the trees?" The voice asks in puzzlement.  
  
"Yes. I don't see what's so odd about it. Apparently the Elves here do so all the time. At least that's what it says, and all the other trees around here." The sword is withdrawn, and then flips the hair over my ear.  
  
"I seek your forgiveness, lady. I did not know you were an Elf."  
  
I whirl round to face the man, hands on my hips "And if I was a mortal, what then? Would you have chopped my head off? I certainly don't think much of the courtesy of the Elves. So far, I've been shot at and chased by a blond Elf who called himself Legolas Greenleaf, and now I'm being threatened with a large sharp instrument by an Elf from Rivendell! The only male around here who's treated me with any sort of decency was a Man named Boromir from Gondor!" I am panting slightly now, exhausted by my tirade. The man raises his eyebrows. Then I notice that the sky is deepening into afternoon, I've spent a few hours conversing with the tree. "However I must thank you for waking me from the tree. The trees back home aren't nearly as strong, nor as alive with thoughts. It must be the Elves that make the difference." I muse.  
  
"Beg pardon lady, but aren't you an Elf?"  
  
"Why, aren't you?"  
  
"No." He raises his hair to show me his rounded, human ear.  
  
"Then you must be Estel, also known as Aragorn son of Arathorn, heir to the throne of Gondor of the blood of Isildur, also known as the Ranger Strider, beloved of the Lady Arwen, daughter of Elrond Peredhil, Lord of Rivendell." I pause for breath, amazed that I remembered all of his titles and affiliations. He looks gob smacked. "How are the Hobbits that you brought to Rivendell? Has Frodo Baggins recovered from the wound the Nazgul gave him? How are Meriadoc Brandybuck, Peregrin Took and Samwise Gamgee? I expect Sam is fascinated by all the Elves though. Have Merry and Pippin done anything else stupid like stealing Gandalf's fireworks? Tell me of them as we walk to Rivendell." He silently offers me his arm, and I decorously take it. He looks slightly ashen. Probably the metamorphosis from screaming harridan to pleasant mannered maiden is shocking enough, without me knowing all these details. "And how is Bilbo? I want to read his book." A thought comes to me, and I grip his elbow tightly "Is the Ring safe? Does Frodo guard it well?"  
  
"He does, my lady. How did you know who I was? How do you know so much?" He looks frightened by me. Silly Man. There is much that is worse then me in Middle Earth. Like the Bal Rog, or the Leviathan in the pool by the entrance to the mines of Morior. I only know things; I cannot truly harm him.  
  
I smile at him as we continue walking. "That is easy to answer. I am from another world, far removed from Middle Earth. There, I have read of what is to come in a book of tales of past deeds. That is my danger. But let us walk faster; I wish to speak with Gandalf and Lord Elrond. And I need to apologize to Legolas."  
  
"What do you need to apologize for?"  
  
I smile sweetly at him. "I kicked him in the balls." Aragorn flinches. "Don't worry, he deserved it. You haven't done anything to merit it, yet. But I think that you won't. You love the lady Arwen, and her I will not replace. However, if you take undue pleasantries with my person, you may not be ever able to father children. Have I made myself clear?" He nods dazedly. "Good, then you can tell all the other males that you think might be inclined to take advantage of my honor as a chaste maiden. That will be their warning. How are Elladan and Elrohir?"  
  
"They are well." Poor man, he looks seriously ill.  
  
"Here, have some chocolate. It's good for shock." I offer him a cube. He threatened me! I'm not giving him a whole row, like I did Boromir. "My name's Caitlyn, by the way, but you can call me Cat. I really shouldn't have run away from Legolas, but the shock of finding myself in what I thought was only a tale of valor quite mixed my wits. And I felt more comfortable with Boromir anyway. I'm used to Men, I'd never met an Elf until today. Where I come from, it is a world of Men. I suspect that my father was an Elf from Middle Earth, but I'm not certain."  
  
"Interesting. Is your father still alive?"  
  
"No. He died before I was born. I look a lot like him though, from the photos my mother has."  
  
"Photos?"  
  
"Like paintings."  
  
"I see."  
  
"Anyway, I can't wait to see Boromir's reaction when he finds out that there is a heir to the Gondorian throne. He's nice enough though so don't be too hard on him. And I want to meet the Hobbits! Isn't it odd that a Hobbit will carry the fate of Middle Earth? For Frodo will volunteer to carry it, take it to Mordor and cast it into Mount Doom. You must go with him. You will save his life several times, but in the end when Boromir dies, and Sam and Frodo leave the Fellowship to go to Mordor, you must leave him then and go to rescue Merry and Pippin. It is what I have read, but I hope to stop Boromir's death. He is a good man, and perhaps by replacing the lure of the Ring, I can save him. He deserves that." I finish quietly. "After all, you are going to remove his place in life when you ascend the throne of Gondor." Aragorn shakes his head "You will. You cannot prevent it. To gain the armies of Gondor, you will do it."  
  
"You have given me much to ponder, Cat. I will give you into the care of my lady, Arwen." Unnoticed by me, we have reached Rivendell and there are lots of people staring at me. I flush, very conscious now of my outlandish clothing. At least, it's outlandish here. I can't see any women in pants, anywhere. "She will arrange an audience with her father and Gandalf."  
  
"Good. I need to speak with them." Aragorn waves to a brown haired Elf lady, who smiles radiantly when she sees Aragorn, and hurries over.  
  
"Arwen my beloved, this is a maiden from another world. She needs your aid, and urgently desires to speak with your father and Gandalf. She seems good at heart, but maybe here for some darker purpose that she is unaware of. She knows much, and seems to know of the future. Though she has the form of one of the long-lived, she doesn't know Elvish. " Arwen smiles at him, and pats his cheek fondly.  
  
"Do not worry, Estel. I think my father is free now, so I'll take her to him. Gandalf is with the Hobbits, and I can get him on the way. Be true of heart, I will see you at the Banquet tonight, after the council. " They kiss and Arwen takes my hand. Aragorn strides off, leaving me with Arwen. "Come we will go speak with my father."  
  
"Let us go. Do you have a dress I could borrow? I didn't expect when I left home this morning that I would be meeting with kings, princes and nobles. And do you know if Legolas has come in yet? I need to apologize to him." I start to chatter as we walk. 


	5. 5

I walk the paths of Rivendell with Arwen. I feel very small when I compare myself to the Elves around me. They have had hundreds of years of life, and I have had barely seventeen. I am a mere child compared to them. But I have lived a lifetime in my seventeen years. I suppose I should be thankful that my heritage didn't manifest itself in a delayed growth rate; otherwise I might still be prepubescent, or something! I can feel the gaze of the Elves around me burning my skin, and I shiver.  
  
"Welcome to Rivendell, lady. Forgive me, but Aragorn did not tell me your name?"  
  
"My name is Caitlyn, but you can call me Cat. What is it with all the guys around here anyway? So far, Legolas threatened me with a bow and has chased me through the trees, and Aragorn threatened me with a sword! Too many weapons around! But I suppose with the Orcs and so forth you need it. After all, the Ring has been found and Sauron wakes. Isengard has gone into shadow and the Ring Wraiths ride abroad dressed as riders in black. I always wanted to visit Middle Earth, but after the War of the Ring!"  
  
"Eru, you do know much! How is it that you know so much?"  
  
"I read of it in a book of tales. Tales of great deeds and great men. Aragorn was among them, and from the tales, he returns home safely. But what my presence here will do I do not know. I think that I must go with them on the quest to destroy the Ring." Arwen's eyebrows rise in disbelief.  
  
"Pardon me, but why would a lady such as yourself want to go on a quest, and how would you help?"  
  
"Ask Legolas. I climb very well, and I am sure that I could pick up the use of a sword or bow. And I am not unlearned in unarmed combat, or the use of staves. Oh, I also talk to trees, which could be very useful indeed. In scouting and so on."  
  
"What do you mean, ask Legolas?"  
  
"Well so far, I've escaped from him by climbing trees and jumping from one to the other, and I've kicked him in the groin. If I'd had a weapon, I would have damaged more then his pride. And that's also the reason I need to apologize to him. I'm too violent for my own good, at least that's what my mother always told me." I trail off into silence as I remember where Arwen's mother is. "I'm so sorry, I forgot! Oh, I'm so stupid."  
  
"Do not feel sorrow. Look, here is Gandalf and the Hobbits." I see an old Man holding a staff smoking a pipe and laughing at the antics of two of the Hobbits. Another one is grumbling at them and looking at the plants in the garden. The last sits quietly by Gandalf's side, eyes shadowed. "Hello, Gandalf, I have someone here who needs to meet you, and then we need to go to my father Elrond. "  
  
"Talk in Common, please! You know that I don't speak Elvish, and I don't think that the Hobbits do either." I say lightheartedly.  
  
"Welcome to Middle Earth, Lady Caitlyn." Gandalf says, eyes full of knowledge.  
  
"If you're the reason that I am here, you are in such trouble with me! My mother will be worried sick about where I am!" I advance on Gandalf eyes flashing.  
  
"I did not bring you here, but I knew of your arrival." I calm down slightly. "Those two are Merry and Pippin being silly, Sam is looking at the garden and this is Frodo." I walk to Frodo and kneel beside him.  
  
"I know what it is you bear, and if I can help you fulfill your task then I will. I know not for what purpose I am here, but if I can help you, then I will. And I'm coming with you to Mordor, or at least part of the way!" I grin at his surprise then stand up. The rest of the Hobbits are staring at me with their mouths wide open. "Peregrin, Meriadoc and Samwise, if you don't close your mouths then a fly will buzz in, and flies are not good for you. Hi, I'm Caitlyn, and supposedly an Elf, but I don't believe that yet, despite the coincidence of pointy ears. Call me Cat." I stick my tongue out at them and giggle.  
  
"Well, I'm Pippin, and that's," He elbows the Hobbit next to him in the ribs "Merry."  
  
"I'm Sam."  
  
"Well, this has been very pleasant, but Gandalf is needed by Lord Elrond, so he'll speak with you all later." Arwen dismisses the Hobbits and they nod. I feel angry at the way she treats them.  
  
"Arwen, it is not right to talk to them so! They are still your equals, even if they have not had the long life that you enjoy! They are brave and sensible Hobbits, and Frodo especially deserves your respect! I do not care for the Elves here, they're all stuck up!" I whirl on my heel and face the Hobbits, eyes burning with anger. "I apologize for the Lady Arwen's rudeness, as she will not! I wish to speak to you later, so for now I will take your leave, but I look forward to talking with you again. Farewell Meriadoc Brandybuck, Peregrin Took, Samwise Gamgee and Frodo Baggins. Also tell Bilbo that a maiden that has read of his adventure with the dragon Smaugh wishes to talk with him if he feels well enough, and to see his manuscript." I nod curtly then stalk off, muttering, "Well, I am bloody glad that we have no fucking nobles back home, if that's the way they treat people.stupid stuck up prigs.first Legolas lord of arrogance and now Arwen."  
  
I hear Arwen's footsteps start to patter after me, but I ignore her. I see a tree that would be perfect to climb. I like to hide in trees, Cat by name, cat by nature. I walk up to it, then ask it for permission to climb. It gives permission, and I climb to its top. Little by little, it soothes me. I can see Arwen down below, gesticulating for me to come down. She couldn't climb a tree, she's wearing a skirt and it would not be fit for the daughter of Lord Elrond to climb a tree anyway, I bet. Gandalf is standing next to her. I look out over Rivendell, and see a group of blonde heads. I wonder if that's Legolas and his party from Mirkwood? I bet it is, so far all the Rivendell Elves have had brown hair. I decide to go and meet them I still need to apologize to Legolas. And if it's not them, well at least I'll be away from the proud Arwen. I wonder if the tree knows?  
  
I lay my hand against the tree's bark and ask it of the Elves that I can see. Not our Elves, it tells me. I see them through the tree's senses. They shine in greens and browns. Arwen, and the other Rivendell Elves shine in greens and blues. Gandalf looks like a pillar of flame, the trees distrust him. I thank the tree and start to make my way through the tree branches, and balconies and so forth to Legolas and the party of Mirkwood Elves. Then a presence drops onto the branch I was walking along behind me, and when I turn to face it another drops in front of me. I stare in confusion at the two identical male Elves, and then groan in comprehension. "Elladan and Elrohir, I presume?" 


	6. 6

The Elves nod. I massage my temples. "Tell Arwen I'll be back soon, I need to talk to Legolas. And tell her she shouldn't be so bloody rude." I nod at them, then drop to the ground beneath the tree. I hear a gasp of surprise, then I take off and start to shinny up a tree again.  
  
"By the Valar, can she go! Shall we, brother?" The other chuckles.  
  
"By all means, shall we wager on the outcome? Your dagger against mine that she gets away?"  
  
"Done!" By the time they have stopped talking, I am five trees ahead of them. I leap from one to another like a squirrel. I can now see the blond heads getting closer, and hear the brothers getting closer. I catapult from the trees onto the path in front of Legolas, who recoils in shock.  
  
"Hiya, Legolas, just thought I'd drop in!" I smile at him, panting with exertion. He looks very apprehensive. Then Elladan and Elrohir appear out of the trees and sprawl on the path in a heap. I walk up to them and toe one of them in a rib. "Get up, you louts. I don't care if you are the sons of Lord Elrond, you're still idiots." They rise to their feet, dusting themselves off.  
  
"Funny that, Arwen says exactly the same thing." One of them comments. He sticks his hand out, "I'm Elrohir and the ugly one is Elladan."  
  
I raise my eyebrows at them "You both look the same, so how can I tell which is the ugly one? I'm Caitlyn, or Cat by the way. Legolas, you can call me Cat too now." I turn around to face him "I came to say I'm sorry for running away before and for kicking you in the balls." I hear Elladan and Elrohir guffaw at that. I whirl around and glare at them, "And I'd do it to you two as well, if you give me just cause!" They shrug, looking at each other. "Anyway hunting rights on me are Legolas' cause he saw me first. Or mine. You can decide which one you want to approach. And I think I got away, don't you?" I flirt with them, hey twins, and they're both yummy! I put my hands on my hips and cock my eyebrows at them.  
  
"Apology accepted." I hear a quiet voice behind me say.  
  
"Coolies!" I grin. "Well, Elladan and Elrohir, are you going to escort me to your father, or not? I've given Arwen enough grief already, shall we go?" They look at each other speculatively. "You two so far are the silliest Elves I've met, and I've met about, oh, five at least!"  
  
"Follow us, Cat. We shall escort you to Lord Elrond." They walk off, and I follow them.  
  
"See ya round Legolas!" I feel like singing so I do. It's all so exciting! "Where's all ma soul sisters, let me hear your flow sisters, hey sister go sister so sister ." I sing the Moulin Rouge theme song; it's so funky to sing! Elladan and Elrohir keep looking over their shoulders at this mad girl, so I add in some motions. Are they blushing? "Remember the life down at ole Moulin Rouge, strutting her stuff on the street, she said hello, hey joe you wanna give it a go." They are blushing! "Voulez-vous couchez avec moi, ce soir? Voulez-vous couchez avec moi, ce soir?!" This is so funny, and all these other Elves are staring as well. Their ears are red! Hehe! "He sat in her boudoir while she freshened up." So amusing, I keep singing without missing a beat. They are so red! I don't think they've ever heard a song so explicit before, "The touch of her skin feeling silky smooth, the color of café au lait."So hilarious! I find it hard to keep singing without laughing. "Lady marmalade, hey, hey uhuhuh.baby, Moulin rouge, Creole lady marmalade! Yes uh!" I do a little bow. "Did you like that song, guys?"  
  
"It was very. interesting, Lady Caitlyn." Elladan says in a choked voice.  
  
"I'm no lady, really! Would I sing a song like that if I were a lady? I think not, somehow. I can't see Arwen singing it anyway."  
  
"What is the Moulin Rouge?" Elrohir asks.  
  
"A brothel, a very expensive and exclusive one. They made a play about a woman who worked there, and that's one of the songs from the play." It'd be too hard to explain what a movie is. "It's a very sad story, about a prostitute who falls in love with an innocent, a young penniless poet but is dying from a dreadful disease. And there's an evil, rich lord who tries to kill them both when he discovers that she's seeing the poet, because he wants her all to himself. It's all very sad, a doomed love story. But they're the best kind, really."  
  
"And what does 'voulez vous couchez avec moi, ce soir' mean?" Elrohir asks, his voice stumbling over the unfamiliar sounds.  
  
"Do you want to sleep with me tonight, basically."  
  
They're both blushing now. I stop walking, wondering how long it'll take in their chagrin to realize I've stopped. One meter, two meters. And for a grand total of three meters they turn around. They are so red, it's unbelievable. Oh they're so cute! Like puppy dogs. I laugh at them, grinning happily.  
  
I start to sing again, this time a serious song, Driftwood by Travis. With all the talk of the Sea in it, they're sure to like it, "Everything is open, nothing is set in stone, rivers turn to ocean, oceans tide you home," They're relaxing now, listening appreciatively. I make my voice throb with poignancy, from the corners of my eyes I can see other Elves gathering around us, "Home is where the heart is, but your heart had to roam, drifting over bridges, never to return, watching bridges burn, you're driftwood floating underwater, breaking into pieces, pieces, pieces." This is an Elvish song for sure. All of loss and regret, and the Sea, I can see the longing on their faces. I relax into my song, and sing louder. "Drifting now forever, and forever more, until you reach your shore." I continue singing until I reach the end of the song and bow. I stand upright, and I can see tears in their eyes.  
  
"My lady, that was.unbelievable. You must sing this song for Lord Elrond." Elrohir says in an awed voice.  
  
"I heard it, Elrohir." The twins turn and bow to a stately Elf in robes. He looks older then the rest of them but has more authority because of it. I stand upright, I am no subject of his, and I bow to no ruler. I merely incline my head a fraction. He does the same watching me carefully. "Welcome to Rivendell, Lady Caitlyn. Will you come with me now?"  
  
I feel like a child caught in some incidental mischief, that although it has wasted time has no bearing on the world at large. I resist the urge to look down and scuff my foot. "Thank you, Lord Elrond." I take his outstretched hand and lay my arm along his. As we start to walk I comment, "So far today, I have been chased by two different groups of Elves and been threatened twice. The only person who has treated me with courtesy, disregarding my strange dress and stranger behavior, has been a Man named Boromir from Gondor. Is it merely because the Elves are less used to visitors then anyone else?"  
  
He coughs politely "Perhaps, Lady Caitlyn."  
  
"Maybe the Dwarves will be more hospitable." I sneak a glance at him from under my eyelashes. He looks like stone. He can probably see right through my act, but I'm still annoyed. "Aragorn threatened to cut my head off until he saw my ears. And he is Elven raised. Perhaps it is more the nurture then the nature that accounts for such hostility. There is naught to fear but the Shadow, and even then fear itself is more dangerous in battle." I bat my eyes at him. Then I look ahead and see Gandalf and Frodo. "Frodo!" At least the Hobbits are nice. "I'm glad to see you. Are you well recovered from the sting of Mordor steel?"  
  
He nods hesitantly. "Yes, thanks to Lord Elrond. He is a marvelous healer."  
  
"I know. The trees sing of it. They are proud of their Elves, and mourn over the pull of the Sea that takes their Elves away." Elrond looks surprised. "I can talk to trees, they like me." I release myself from Elrond and bow to Gandalf. "Well met, Gandalf the Grey. Have you discovered yet why and how I am here?" 


	7. 7

He coughs. He really should stop smoking that pipe. "Well, how you are here, is easy. A gap opened in the way between the worlds, but I cannot decide yet whether it was accidental or engineered." He looks weary.  
  
"Well, for me it was very providential that it opened at that particular time. Why don't we sit down, and I'll tell you about it." So we all sit down and get comfy, then I tell them of what has happened to me today sans personal feelings. Several times Frodo blushes. "And that's it, until I sat down here."  
  
"You really kicked the Prince of the Mirkwood Forests in the groin?" Elrond enquires eyes slightly wider then usual.  
  
"Yeah. And if Aragorn hadn't apologized right away, I would have kicked him too." I shrug at the dismayed looks on their faces. "Hey, it works. Guys tend to crumple when you hit them there. I am coming on this quest to destroy the Ring, and there is little you can do to prevent that." They looked stunned.  
  
"But you are a woman." Elrond says.  
  
"Like that has anything to do with it! I just need some training, and I'll be good. After all, the Hobbits had no training before they hit the road. Why should I be any different?" I stare at them defiantly.  
  
"Of course you must go. You know of what lies ahead for the Fellowship." Gandalf looks up and gazes carefully at Elrond. "She will be a part of it. She has already sworn herself to Frodo's protection."  
  
"It's true. She did, when she met me." Frodo asserts.  
  
"You forget, Frodo, I know of your importance. And I look forward to getting to know you." I frown, and shake my head. "There must be something in the air here, I'm talking really formal. Odd. Disconcerting even. I keep slipping from slang to formal language. Very odd. Oh well, meow!" They look at me oddly. "I'm Cat, cats go meow! Therefore I go meow in times of stress. Or when I feel like it." I laugh at them; I must seem really peculiar to them.  
  
"Very well then." Lord Elrond assents tiredly. "The council will be tomorrow, after the Dwarves arrive." He rubs his forehead. "Dwarves in Rivendell."  
  
"Dwarves are people too! Truly, all you Elves are so racist! Ah well. Not much I can do to change over a, what is it, hundred thousand years of inbred snobbishness."  
  
"Quite." Says Lord Elrond diplomatically.  
  
"Hey Frodo, why don't you introduce me to Bilbo?"  
  
"Certainly, Cat. If you will excuse us, Lord Elrond, Gandalf?" They nod.  
  
"Go on Frodo." Gandalf nods. Frodo bows, sort of and gestures for me to follow him. We head off down a path.  
  
"So Frodo, how's things?"  
  
"Things?" He sounds confused.  
  
"Like, how are you, what are you doing, what have you done recently, those types of things."  
  
"Well, confusing and terrifying really."  
  
"Yeah, I can understand why. How's Bilbo?"  
  
"Old, and very frail. But I think he'll be glad to see you. He's always interested in exotic things."  
  
"Well, you don't get much more exotic then me. From a whole other world, no less." We fall silent for a bit, and continue to walk. The trees whisper. "It's really odd, here the trees are more alive, for want of a better word then any trees I've encountered before. Aware. Must be the Elves." I muse distractedly.  
  
"Perhaps, Cat." He looks up at me. "Or perhaps, you are more sensitive then you were in your world."  
  
"That's an idea. Meow! Mew, mew, mew!" I start meowing musically. Frodo looks at me as I've lost my mind. I giggle at him, and continue to mew. "Mew, mew, mew, meow, meow." I close my eyes and start to dance. I slide them open a little bit and glance down at Frodo. "Mew, meow, mew." I wave my arms around oddly "Meeeeooooowwww!" I climb up a tree and mew louder, swinging my legs "Mew, mew, mew, meow, meow, meow." Frodo is laughing now, whooping almost. This is good; I'm making him laugh. He needs to laugh. I laugh out loud too, then gasping for breath, drop easily to the ground and roll around laughing uncontrollably. We laugh together. We almost stop then I look at him, and say "Mew." We burst out laughing yet again, holding our sides from the pain of laughing so hard.  
  
"Oh dear, Cat, I fear you are truly mad." Frodo says wiping his eyes.  
  
"Too true, too true, I fear. Well, we should get up and see Bilbo, anyways."  
  
"Let's go then."  
  
Frodo gives me a hand up and still laughing, we walk on. I'm still singing under my breath "Mew, mew, mew." We walk on through the avenues of trees and garden beds of Rivendell. Above us I can see narrow walkways that look as delicate as spiders' webs, and as frail. The Elves of Rivendell walk unconcernedly along them, though they look like they would snap in a slight breeze. Delicate traceries of balconies project out from trees that are also houses. I would like to stay longer in Rivendell, but I know that the Fellowship will leave soon, and that I will leave with them.  
  
Frodo looks ahead and cries out "Uncle Bilbo!" and runs ahead of me to greet an old Hobbit, who is sitting on a bench in the sun. He turns to see Frodo and smiles.  
  
"Hello, my dear boy! And how are you today?" I follow Frodo more slowly.  
  
"I am fine Uncle. And this is someone who I think you'd like to meet. This is the Lady Caitlyn, and she greatly wanted to meet you."  
  
"That's true I did. I'm from another world, and you're rather famous there. I think I have the book in my bag." I rummage through my backpack, which I miraculously still have and withdraw my copy of 'The Hobbit'. "Here, this is a book about you, and your adventures." I hand it to him and he takes it with shaking hands. He opens it slowly and leafs through the pages.  
  
"Well, that is a wonder. Look at the printing, Frodo, it's so regular and precise. And the pages.the parchment is so fine and white, but durable. It must have cost you a lot of money, Lady Caitlyn."  
  
"Not really. My world is a world of Science, not Magic. There are no other intelligent races, but Men. We have many machines to do our bidding, and we are able to mass-produce items. There are millions of copies of that book in existence. They are still being produced, at the rate of hundreds a day, and people buy them with an amount of money that doesn't truly equal more then an hour's work." The Hobbits are dumbstruck by what I am saying. "I wonder sometimes if the reason we have so many tales and stories of other worlds, and other races that exist side by side with Men, is that we are lonely."  
  
"It sounds fascinating, Lady Caitlyn." Bilbo says.  
  
"Please don't call me Lady, just Cat will do. Where I come from, there are few places where there are still nobles, and less where a monarchy is still in place. Quite different to Middle Earth."  
  
"Yes, yes." Bilbo is captivated by my book.  
  
"You can keep it to read, if you like. You can tell me where it goes wrong." I say with a laugh.  
  
"That's a good idea. I will do that." He gives a slight wave of his hand, totally engrossed with the book. I nudge Frodo and we quietly leave Bilbo to his book. We walk further along the paths of Rivendell; Elves pass around us ignoring us. So snobbish, obviously a stranger and a Hobbit are beneath their notice. I decide to make them notice us, if I'm going to be away in a day or so I don't care if they think me mad. Frodo will eventually leave with them to go to the Land beyond the Sea, but maybe I'll change that.  
  
I begin to sing a song, another song of my world that will shock the Elves, "Whenever, Wherever" by Shakira, "Lucky you were born that far away so, we could both make fun of distance, lucky that I love a foreign land for, the lucky fact of your existence, baby I would climb the Andes solely, to count the freckles on your body, never could imagine there were only, ten million ways to love somebody," I start adding in the marvelous belly dancing techniques of Shakira now, "Le do le le le le, le do le le le le, can't you see, I'm at your feet?" Frodo looks horrified and the Elves look scandalized. Perfect! I start dancing in circles, continuing with my dance techniques, "Whenever, wherever, we're meant to be together, I'll be there and you'll be near, and that's the deal my dear, thereover, hereunder, you'll never have to wonder, we can always play by ear, but that's the deal my dear,"  
  
I look ahead and see Boromir surrounded by Elves. I smile widely and wave cheekily at him and sing louder for his benefit, "Lucky that my lips not only mumble, they spill kisses like a fountain, lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains," I glance down at Frodo, who's face is red with embarrassment and shock. I look back up again and see Boromir now trying to politely thrust his way through the Elves, "Lucky that I have strong legs like my mother, to run for cover when I need it, and these two eyes that for no other, the day you leave will cry a river," I strike a pose and blow a kiss at Boromir, "Le do le le le le, le do le le le le, at your feet, I'm at your feet," Boromir grabs my arm and tries to move me. I smile at him and continue to sing the song, going onto the chorus.  
  
"Will you stop?" Boromir furiously whispers into my ear. I shake my head and keep singing, licking my lips now because my mouth is dry. I am now well into the second choruses after the line 'lost in my eyes'.  
  
"You've got me head over heels, there's nothing left to fear, if you really feel the way I feel." I half bow, despite Boromir holding onto my arm, "Thank you, thank you, you've been a wonderful audience." I say scathingly.  
  
"Will you come now?"  
  
"Sure, I've finished rattling their cages.for now. It seems to me that the Elves have forgotten how to have fun."  
  
Boromir drags me off protesting with Frodo trotting along behind. Why haven't I kicked him in the balls yet? Because I want to save him from himself. And if I kick him in the balls, I remove his pride. Besides, I kinda like him. More so then any stuck up Elf. 


	8. 8

No reviews? Makes me so sad! Oh well, I have some reviews on my other stories. My title is heaps bad, so will welcome suggestions. Onwards!  
  
"What in the name of Eru do you think you are doing?!" He says dropping my arm and staring at me in exasperation. Boromir is severely pissed.  
  
"Stuff!" I fold my arms and stare coolly at him.  
  
"Stuff?!"  
  
"Yep. Stuff." I shrug. "The Elves annoy me, what can I say? And besides did you see the look on their faces?" I start to giggle, Boromir looking at me stone faced. Then the façade begins to crack and he starts to laugh. Frodo looks uneasily at the two of us, he probably thinks the two Big Folk have gone mad. "Do ya reckon I should sing another song?"  
  
"No!" Frodo shouts, then looks half ashamed as I look down at him. I laugh and ruffle the hair on his head.  
  
"Don't worry, Frodo, I have lots of songs that aren't.so explicit. Or at least prettier phrased." I look up and catch Boromir half smiling at me. "What? Frodo's my friend, and you I'm not sure about yet. Ah well, you'll be useful for one thing."  
  
"And what's that?"  
  
"You can teach me to fight. What do you reckon, short or long sword? I know a bit of staff work already.but I'm not fantastic at it." I hold my hands out for his inspection.  
  
"Short probably. Or daggers. Do you know where the armory is?"  
  
"No idea! And I'll get Legolas to teach me archery, he's an Elf."  
  
"What makes you think you'll be around that long? Or that I will be?"  
  
"Oh, just stuff." I smile ingeniously at him. "Frodo, do you know where the armory and practice fields are?"  
  
"No, I haven't been here that long myself. Elladan, Elrohir or Aragorn probably know though."  
  
"Let's go find them then!" So the three of us head off. Wandering absently through Rivendell. I keep getting these insane urges to run up to an Elf and go 'boogaboogabooga!' in their face but I repress it. Frodo would probably die of shock, and he's still weak from his wound. And he's very important. I hum instead and keep randomly changing direction and running into things. Like Boromir. Or walls. Or trees. Boromir just ignores me, which is the safest course. Meow! Which brings a whole other course of thoughts in. "Do you guys like cats?"  
  
"They're useful." Boromir says absentmindedly, or in pain maybe because I just ran into him rather hard.  
  
"Useful at getting rid of mice and other vermin. And a house just isn't quite homelike without a cat." Frodo agrees.  
  
"Meow, mew, mew, meow," I start dancing oddly again; it worked last time, ok? Frodo snorts and begins to laugh. Boromir looks at me like I've gone mad, and perhaps I have. I look at him and sniff "I thought you liked cats?" then I run ahead and climb another tree. I start to pretend cry and say, "Boromir doesn't like me any more! Oh woe is me! Frodo, will you still love me, even if Boromir doesn't? I bet that the other guys round here aren't so mean! Boromir's a big fat meanie!" I laugh and stick my tongue out at Boromir, then ignore him and wail louder "Boromir doesn't love me any more! My heart, she is broken! Oh woe!" I swing my legs and suppress my laughter as I continue to mock sob.  
  
"Cat!" I feel a hand on my leg, and I look down, pretending to wipe tears out of my eyes. It's Boromir! I sniff and ignore him disdainfully. "Will you please come down now?"  
  
I roll my eyes and peer down. "Maybe."  
  
"By Eru, you are the most exasperating female I've ever met!"  
  
"Cat, please come down!" Frodo pleads.  
  
"Nup! Not till Boromir says he still loves me." I glance down out of half slitted eyes. Boromir is turning very red. Rage or embarrassment? Embarrassment I think. Frodo's red too, and I'm sure it's because of embarrassment. I am so not a lady! I whistle slightly and swing my free leg, Boromir still holding on to the other. Some of the Elves have stopped and are staring at us with amusement. Hey, it's the twins and Aragorn! I wave. "Hey peoples!" Elladan and Elrohir wave back, Aragorn is being a stiff.  
  
"What are you doing Cat?" Elladan asks, his mouth twisted with amusement.  
  
"Waiting for Boromir to admit he still loves me." Boromir goes redder, if such a thing was possible. The twins snort as they try to keep back their laughter. "What, you think it is possible for a guy to look at me and not love me? If so, I am very insulted, and once Boromir apologizes and admits it, I am going to bite you!" I bare my teeth at them. "Bite!"  
  
"Cat will you please just come down?"  
  
"No!" I turn my face skywards and hum quietly with my arms crossed, ignoring him. Boromir sighs, and pulls me down out of the tree. I scream and fall into his arms. "Aaaaahhhh!" I knock him over backwards, and he goes 'oof!' I sit on his chest and punch him in the shoulder. "Warn me or something next time you decide to do that! Honestly, men." The twins are howling with laughter. I glare at them. "That means males of any species! And I am now going to bite you because you deserve it!" I get off Boromir who is winded and charge at the twins. Aragorn steps back, and while I feint at Elladan, Elrohir grabs me from behind, pinning my arms to my sides. "Not fair!" I kick futilely, he's lifted me off the ground because he's taller then me. Stupid Elves.  
  
"What were you saying?" Elladan says as he steps in front of me, at a safe distance. I snap at him.  
  
"Going to bite you! You annoying, infuriating Elves!" I yell. "Aaahhhh! Why is no one helping me? Stupid males!" I glare at Elladan. I start to thrash about, which makes Elrohir drop me on my bum. "Oof!" I get up, turn around and bite Elrohir on the hand.  
  
"Ai! She really did it!" He clutches his hand.  
  
"Nasty! Ew, ew, ew!" I start to spit frantically. "Don't you ever wash? Anyone have some water? Blech!" I claw at my tongue. "I'm going to die! Even Greg didn't taste that bad, and I drew blood that time. Yuck!" Everyone except for Elrohir and I are laughing uncontrollably, even Aragorn is chuckling which is probably his equivalent.  
  
"No, he doesn't wash, at least he didn't today!" Elladan laughs. I glower at him.  
  
"Well, I can see who's not getting any chocolate!" My eyes widen. "My chocolate! If you have flattened my chocolate, you immature, irresponsible twins, so help me god, I really will bite you!" I start to paw through my bag, where is it? Ah, there it is. It looks a bit the worse for wear, but still edible. I look up and brandish the chocolate. "Found it! Yum, chocolate." I break off a bit and start to eat it. Chocolate smears on my fingers. I thoughtfully lick them. "Well, it's melting, so it may as well be eaten. Want some?" I offer it round and everyone takes some. We eat chocolate in silence. "What time is it?" I ask.  
  
"Late afternoon. About time to start thinking about getting ready for dinner." Aragorn says calmly. "We should find Arwen for you, she's supposed to get you ready for dinner. She'll be around somewhere."  
  
"Ok."  
  
Elladan and Elrohir look at each other. "We'd be happy to escort you." Elrohir offers.  
  
"Sorry, but I think I'd be safer with Boromir or Aragorn. I don't know what it is about you, but I just don't trust you." I say dryly. They shrug. "Besides you two need to have a bath! Yuck!"  
  
"I will escort you, Caitlyn." Aragorn says.  
  
"Okey dokey, let's go. See you peoples later, all right?" I start to walk off with Aragorn. I wave to the others and skip ahead of Aragorn. I start to sing again, "Paranoia, paranoia, everybody's coming to get me!" Who is that by? I can't remember any more of the song then that, let alone who it is by. 


	9. 9

One should really write a disclaimer, shouldn't one? Caitlyn and random characters are mine, but others you know are from Tolkien, who I hope forgives all fan fiction writers everywhere for the liberties taken with his work. Really, guys, get your minds out of the muck! Onwards and (hopefully) ever upwards! PS The songs aren't mine either, and as I'm making no money offa this, please don't sue me! Cringes. Take the Muse! The Muse! She made me do it! I try to give credit where it's due, so if I get it wrong tell me, and I'll correct it! PPS Anyone with a favorite song, send it to me with full words and the artist to my e-mail, and I'll see if I can put it in.  
  
Aragorn and I walk in silence. Well, he walks in silence and I make lots of random noise. I think he's getting a headache. I start to mew again "Mew, mew, meow." I stop after he looks at me. I shrug. Meh. I should be nice to him, since the quest for the Ring takes a really long time, if I remember correctly. I swing my bag in my hands. "So, Aragorn, umm, what do you like doing?" I say awkwardly. So bad! What a bad opening, such a line!  
  
"Oh, just things." Rebuffed, we continue to walk in silence. Such a downer! I look ahead and feel relief. Arwen! Aragorn's face lights up and he strides in front of me to meet her. "Arwen, beloved, here is Lady Caitlyn. Your father said to ready her for dinner. " He takes her hands in his and raises them to his lips. I look away, it's not as if I can understand them in any case. Dum de dum de.  
  
"Of course, my love. I knew this, but I wish that you had brought her earlier. As it is, I hope we have enough time to get her ready. " Well, let's just talk over my head, what is it about these Elves? They make me feel like a child. I suppose that they are thousands or hundreds of years old, but still.Aragorn does it too! So much annoyance, really. "Caitlyn, will you come with me now please?"  
  
"Sure. Where are we going?" I follow her as she sweeps past me. Skirts give her all this elegance and style, damn it! Authority into the bargain. Bugger. But her skirt is being caught up in the dust, ha! Jeans are more practical for everyday wear. I make a face at her back. Arwen Undómiel, indeed! Stupid Elves, so duty struck and snooty. I grin. Not the twins though, they're fun. I'll just make sure I talk to them tonight, or the Hobbits, or Boromir, and not Aragorn, who is scary or Arwen, who is ignoring me.  
  
"My father arranged for a room and proper clothing for you." I stick my tongue out at her back. My clothing is proper for what I had planned to do today. If I find out who is responsible, I promise them much pain.  
  
"So, who'll be at the banquet tonight?"  
  
"Everyone important. Of course, retainers will be at lower tables according to rank, but you'll be at the High Table, with my father and I." If you have to be in a feudal society, it's good to be at the top. "Many people from the races of Middle Earth, Dwarves and Men. A party from Gondor, a party of Dwarves headed by one Glóin son of Gróin, even a small party from Mirkwood." Here she shakes her head, uneasy. "King Thranduil must hold this to be of great importance if he forgets his discord with my father. The Elves of Mirkwood are strange and perilous folk, even to other Elves."  
  
"Perhaps to those of Middle Earth. Legolas, son of Thranduil, seems to be a nice enough guy. Granted, he might not think the same of me, but I kicked him."  
  
"You kicked him?"  
  
"Elrond had much the same reaction as you, when I told him. Elves are Elves to me. All of them stuck up snobs. Truly, the company of the Hobbits and Men is more to my liking." I frown. "But I believe that if my father is who I think he is, I will have the same choice to make as you. To be of the Twilight and pass away with the Elves, or to become mortal. Your father chose to be Elf, and his brother chose the way of Men. I had no knowledge of this choice, and perhaps I have already made it unwittingly."  
  
"I have no opinion on this matter. You would have to talk to Gandalf or to my father."  
  
"I intend to." I swing my bag in my hands. Arwen leads me into a large bedchamber, which is as usual, tasteful and magnificent. Somehow, I doubt that anything Elves make could be construed as tasteless and overdone.  
  
"This is your room."  
  
"Hey, a bed!" I run to the bed and jump onto it. It is a huge four-poster bed with a green bedspread and cool white curtains. It is large and soft with enormous pillows. I bounce softly and giggle. I loll over it and delight in the feel of the cool soft fabric. I hear a polite cough behind me and I turn around and sit on the edge of the bed, facing Arwen.  
  
She is smiling, which is a nice change. Two other female Elves are standing with her now, both very serious. "This is Ardaerial and Pentherial. They are here to help me ready you for the banquet. First, we need to measure you, so I will close the door, "She does that, "And now you can remove your clothes, please." I stand up and shuck off my shirt. A chorus of swift Elfish greets me.  
  
"What?" I say questioningly, holding my shirt. I throw it haphazardly onto the bed. I remove my jeans and they follow my shirt. This, I tell myself, is like a bra fitting. This is not embarrassing. This is merely measurement.  
  
"How is your breast band fashioned?" Arwen asks, her face lit with curiosity.  
  
"I don't know. Why?"  
  
"Can I look at it?" I shrug and reaching behind me, unclip it and hand it to Arwen. It's a $15 dollar skin color bra that I got from Grace Brothers. What's so special about it? It is just an ordinary D-12 bra, with under wire, no lace, and no ribbon. Nothing extra, but it is microfibre, which would be new. I shiver and cross my arms. It's unsettling to be basically naked in front of strangers. Vulnerable. The Elves are clustered around Arwen, examining my bra. Arwen looks up, "This is splendidly fashioned."  
  
"Not really. It's just a bra. Can I have it back now, or are you going to measure me first?" Arwen says something to the two other Elves and they come and stand in front of me. She continues to study my bra.  
  
Ardaerial smiles hesitantly at me. "Please, raise your arms." I do so and stare straight ahead. They flit around me, doing all that measuring stuff. They talk softly to each other in Elfish. I do as they tell me and wait for it to be over. They talk to Arwen, and then leave quietly.  
  
"Apparently, you are close to me in size so they are going to alter one of the dresses I was having made. It will be new, so don't worry about that. Now, follow me to the bath. It has been run, and will be hot." She smiles at me, "Come, it is waiting." 


	10. 10

I relax into the heated waters of the bath. Aaaahhh. The water ripples around me, giving off the smell of flowers. My hair floats on the top of the water like dark waterweed. I duck my head fully under the water, and stare up at the ceiling through the water. Uh, that roof is not solid. I rise hastily out of the water, blowing water out of my nose and shaking my head. I wipe my watering eyes with a convenient towel, and look closer at this not solid roof. It has holes in it. Holes where some one could look through. My eyes narrow. I give a semblance of unconcern and start to wash myself thoroughly. I thank whomever for my sharp hearing, and listen closely for any signs that there is a person up there.  
  
I hear a rustle as if someone was moving above my head. I pretend I can't hear. A whisper of speech.Move over, already! Elfish. So that is Elves above my head. But who? Adolescent equivalents? What can I do to punish the voyeurs? Not much, but I bet Arwen could. I grin slightly. I stand up in the bath and start to soap myself up. I then squat down into the bath and douse myself. I hear a gasp above me. This must be novel for them, or maybe not. I don't know how long those holes have been there. Perverts. I soap up my hair, as no shampoo is in evidence. I rinse the soap out.  
  
"Arwen? Can you come in here for a minute?" I call out sweetly.  
  
"Elbereth! " I hear a slightly louder whisper. "Elladan, I thought you said Arwen was getting the dress? " Interesting.  
  
" She is! So be quiet, Elrohir. " Even more interesting.  
  
"Arwen mustn't be there. Oh well. I'm sure she'll be interested to know that her brothers are spying on a guest." I look straight up at the ceiling. "Naughty boys." I shake my finger at the roof. "Especially considering that the holes look old, not new. Very naughty boys. I can hear you, you know. The really good hearing bit carried over. And even more interesting then what Arwen will say, is what will Lord Elrond say?" I heave an exaggerated sigh. "I hope that at least nobody I don't know is up there with you. That would be very disappointing. You two I can cope with, but someone else.no." I wallow in the hot bath, lying on my back staring straight up at the ceiling. Silence greets my remarks. I sigh, and then fling water up at the ceiling. It splashes everywhere, but mostly on the ceiling.  
  
"Ai!" A very loud exclamation, and at that's when Arwen walks in carrying a large and fluffy looking towel. She starts when she hears the exclamation, which is said in a very masculine voice. She stares upwards at the dripping ceiling. She frowns.  
  
"What is going on in here?" She asks icily. Lots of silence from above when she says that.  
  
I shrug and tell her "Elladan and Elrohir are up there. Notice the holes in the ceiling." I point at them. "The water was my fault. They need a bath. And they deserved it. Spying on a maiden in her bath, tsk, tsk." I shake my head disapprovingly.  
  
"I think father will have a lot to say about this." Arwen stares sternly at the ceiling. "Caitlyn, I must apologize. I had no idea that this would happen. The dress is ready now, if you will come out of the bath please." She holds the towel out to me. I get out of the bath, dripping water, and take the towel off her. I briskly rub myself dry.  
  
"Don't worry about it, Arwen. I'm sure that the embarrassment of being caught will be enough. Besides it's rather flattering." I wrap the towel around myself. "But you may want to do something about those holes. I think that the twins would be glad to do that, if you don't tell Elrond." I smile wickedly at her "And it's good to have leverage, isn't it?" Arwen smiles back. She goes out of the room, and I follow her. I pause and pick up my underwear, then keep going. A flurry of whispered Elfish answers my exit. It sounds very concerned and worried.  
  
On my bed is a beautiful dress. It is a pale blue color, with delicate silver embroidery. "Here is your dress, do you like it?"  
  
"Like it? I love it! Thank you Arwen." I pick up the dress and measure it against myself. "Is there a mirror?" Arwen gestures behind me. I turn around and gasp as I see the dress and me and imagine what I'll look like in it. "Oh wow." My dripping hair slides over my shoulder. "Ack!" I hurriedly put the dress back down on the bed. "So, how long till dinner?"  
  
"A few hours, so there's time for your hair to dry."  
  
"Cool."  
  
"Are you cold?" Arwen asks with concern.  
  
"What? No, cool means great, ok and stuff like that." I say absently. "Can I have my bra back?"  
  
"Of course." Arwen picks it up from where it was lying on the bed. "Here. I'll come back in a hour or so, to help you get ready." She gives the bra to me, and then leaves quietly, closing the door behind her. I wander over to my bag and get my other book out to read while I wait for my hair to dry. I put on my underwear and wrap the towel around my head. I sit down on the chair in the room and read my book.  
  
It is a very good book, 'The Ill-made mute' by Cecilia Dart-Thornton. I just adore the Bitterbynde trilogy. I bought the third one the other day, and read it already. So now I'm re-reading the series. I look up as the door opens softly. Arwen enters, and those two other Elven maidens follow her.  
  
"Is your hair dry?"  
  
"I think so." I had taken off the towel a while ago, when my hair stopped dripping, and now it is only mildly damp. "Mostly dry, anyway. Do you have a brush?"  
  
Arwen nods and comes further into the room. All of them are carrying loads of stuff, things like brushes, make up, what appears to be jewelry cases. They put it all on a small table, which I hadn't noticed before. I put my book back in my bag and get up. Arwen smiles and beckons at me. "Well, let's make you worthy of your heritage." She gestures at the chair in front of the table. "Sit." I do so and suspend all attempts at rational thought while they do stuff to my face and brush out my hair. I try on all types of jewelry and sheer stockings. All guys beware the makeover! Then Arwen gets out a corset. I lift my arms and let her put it on. "Hold onto the bedpost." I do and she hauls on the laces. Uh! Not for the weak, but I must admit that it does great things for my figure. Squeezes some things in, and others out.  
  
They carefully lift the dress and lower it over my head. I slip my hands into the sleeves and adjust the bodice. I smooth my hands against the soft velvety material. Arwen fusses around with my skirt and does up all the laces and buttons that zippers have thankfully replaced back home. Ardaerial finishes off my hair and places a necklace around my neck. Pentherial kneels down and places light blue slippers on my feet. They are covered in the same sort of material as my dress, and the same type of embroidery. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and gasp.  
  
"I look beautiful." I say in a whisper. And I do. The style of the dress makes me look slim and tall. It has a V-waist, a full skirt with a slight train, long sleeves, with those dangly veily bits and a square neckline. The silver embroidery accents the lines of the dress, unnoticeable in the frailest lines, except when the light hits them. Then they glimmer. Thick bands of embroidery follow the V of the waist and border the edges of my dress. The necklace is made of silver and pale blue stones, like a collar supporting a v shaped net of stones entrapped in silver web. I look like a mediaeval lady, of high birth.  
  
I hesitantly raise my hand to my ear; the hairstyle they've used has drawn my hair back away from my ears. Uncovering them. That is not usual what I do with my hair because people stare. I grin with relief; nobody will stare at my ears here. I don't look just gorgeous, but sexy as well. Arwen is wearing a similar outfit, in pale green. She looks untouchable, aloof. Must be the human in me. Ardaerial hands me a pair of earrings and I place them in my ears. They dangle halfway to my shoulders, but feel light as a feather. They match my necklace. I turn my head and admire my hairdo. It is studded with the pale blue jewels as well. They are fastened into my hair with silver net. No, not a net, a web. Net denotes substance, this is thin tracery.  
  
"Do you like it?" Arwen asks with a sly smile.  
  
"Like it? Thank you so much Arwen!" I fling my arms around her and give her a fierce hug. "I hopefully won't disgrace you tonight."  
  
"We understand. Now, I need to finish getting ready myself. My brothers have been fighting with each other as to which will escort you to dinner. I told them firmly that they were doing no such thing, in light of their previous behavior. So I asked Legolas to escort you instead."  
  
My jaw goes slack. "Legolas? Are you insane?"  
  
Arwen's eyebrows rise. "I will be escorted by Estel. You need to enter on the arm of an Elf with high rank. This announces to the other Elves that you are also of high rank. Entering on the arm of Legolas also says that you are not an Elf of Rivendell. You will not be mistaken for an Elf of Mirkwood, because you are not fair-haired. Therefore, you will be a mystery, and more to be respected for you will be an unknown quantity." Arwen stares at me seriously. "Farewell, I will leave you now. I have much to do. Come. " She beckons to the two she Elves and the three of them leave quietly. At the door, Arwen turns and faces me while the others leave. "Legolas will be here in half an hour or so. Be careful not to muss your gown, or your make up, or disturb your hair." With that final caution, she leaves.  
  
I heave a sigh and pick up my book again. I am careful to stand away from everything and just stand and read my book. 


	11. 11

I hear a knock at the door and make my way to it, still reading. I open the door inattentively, finish the paragraph and look up. It's Legolas. "Hi, just wait until I find a bookmark. Please, come in." I walk over to the small table, and rummage in its drawer. I hear Legolas shut the door, and I presume he follows me. "Ah, found one." I retrieve a slip of paper and place it in the book, marking my place. "Well, shall we go to dinner?"  
  
"Milady, you are.beautiful. You rival Arwen herself." I turn around and shake my head at him.  
  
"Don't be silly. Are we going or not?" He bows to me and takes my hand, kisses it. Legolas is a wolf. Note to self, do not be alone with Legolas again. "Good apology. Let's go." I withdraw my hand and sweep out of the room. Legolas follows me. I frown as I look up and down the corridor. "Where are we going anyway?"  
  
"This way, milady." Legolas takes my hand and leads me down the corridor. I hear the sounds of conversation and walk faster. We enter a large room, which at the other end has two guards standing by a large archway. Through it, I can see people dancing and tables with people at them. I sniff hungrily, the food smells good. Legolas looks down at me smiling. " I am Legolas, son of Thranduil, a Prince of Mirkwood. My companion is Lady Caitlyn, of lands unknown. " Legolas says to them in Elfish. I hope that it's not something unflattering. The guards bow, and turn and announce us, first in Elfish, then in Common.  
  
Legolas and I enter. I smile brightly at the assembled Elves. I resist the urge to wave and blow kisses. Legolas escorts me to where Elrond is sitting, Legolas bows, and I dip a minimum curtsey. Elrond smiles slightly. He stands up and gestures to the room for silence.  
  
"Today, we welcome new friends and old, old rivals and new allies. Welcome to Rivendell, everyone here tonight. There are several new faces around our tables, and ones we have not seen for many a year. I extend a particular welcome to the Dwarves, the Men of Gondor, the Elves of Mirkwood, the Hobbits and Lady Caitlyn. Now let us eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow is another day." Elrond sits back down in his chair and turns and talks to a tall powerful looking male Elf standing behind his chair.  
  
"That is Glorfindel, Elrond's councilor. He is very wise and powerful." Legolas whispers in my ear as he leads me to the two empty seats on the High Table. He draws a chair out for me, and I demurely sit.  
  
"Thank you Legolas." I glance around at the table and smile with pleasure as I see the Hobbits. Frodo is being inconspicuous, but I think that Pippin and Merry are getting smashed. Sam is ignoring them both and fussing over Frodo. "Hey Hobbits!" I wave at them. Legolas sits next to me with a sigh. They wave back, Frodo discreetly, Pippin and Merry with large gestures and Sam with a shy smile. Who is else is here? Boromir, Dwarves, who are probably Gimli and Gloin, Elladan and Elrohir. They keep looking at me, and then looking away guiltily. Boromir looks very unhappy and out of place. The Dwarves look worse.  
  
A server places a goblet in front of me and pours in what looks like water, but smells like flowers and wine. I cautiously taste it, and then take a deeper swallow as the flavor hits my taste buds. It is deeply refreshing. Legolas puts a hand over the top of the goblet. "Hey!"  
  
"Go easy on that. It's stronger then you think. Eat something."  
  
I nod crossly. "All right. Know it all Elf." I mumble under my breath.  
  
"True though, in this case. Eat." Legolas spears a tidbit of food with his knife and waves it in front of me.  
  
"Get that out of my face. I can feed myself, you know. I was just thirsty." I look down at the table top for a knife or fork. I pick up the knife at the side of my plate and start to cut up and eat the food on my plate. I don't know what it is, but it's awful nice.  
  
"Thirsty? You should drink water then, not wine. Especially if you aren't used to it."  
  
"Be quiet annoying Elf. I can take care of myself. But I do need you to teach me archery."  
  
"I am sure that Lord Elrond would find someone here in Rivendell to teach you.  
  
"Won't be in Rivendell." I mumble around a piece of food. I swallow. "We're going on a quest, mission, thingy. And yes, that includes you. Eight other people are coming. I mess up the numbers to make ten, instead of nine. So you'll have plenty of time to teach me archery. And Boromir has already promised to teach me swordplay." I glance at Legolas. He looks dumbstruck. "Oh get over it. You don't think you came to Rivendell merely to tell Elrond about Gollum escaping."  
  
"How did you know that?"  
  
"I know lots of stuff, like one and one equals two. I'm a smart girl." I sip my wine, and watch the dancers. I would like to join them.  
  
"Do you wish to dance?"  
  
"Yes! But I don't know how." I look sadly at his outstretched hand, as he stands up.  
  
"I'm sure you'll be fine. Come on." I sigh, and take his hand, and he draws me smoothly out of my chair. I see Boromir frown and gulp down what is in his goblet. I walk down with Legolas to the dance floor and take my place with the other couples. I can see several Elven maidens staring at me with hate, or at least envy. Legolas guides me through the dance steps, and to my amazement I do all right.  
  
"Hey, this is fun!" I grin up at him. "But these skirts are a shockin' 'orrible nuisance, so they are!" I fuss as I disentangle myself again. Stupid skirts! Am so glad that I don't have to wear skirts all the time. But it is nice to dress up once in a while. Could I manage to take this dress home with me for my year 12 formal? I'd give it a real good try, it'd be free for one thing and it makes me look like a dream. Or something out of a Mills and Boone, but that's not the point. I feel a tap on my shoulder and twist my head around. Hello, it's Elladan. I frown at him. He's not in my good books. Legolas picks up on my bad vibes and frowns too. "Yes?"  
  
"May my brother and I have the pleasure of conversation with you, Lady Caitlyn?" Elladan asks in a rushed stream of words. The dance is ending and Legolas and I are standing still in then position of a waltz type step. Except Legolas' hand is slipping below the waist. I step out of the pose, sigh, and follow Elladan. I wave goodbye to Legolas, and sparing half a glimpse over my shoulder see him inundated with pretty maidens. Honestly.  
  
I follow the twins out of the hall, fuming. I want to talk with Boromir. I lean against the wall and stare coldly at them. They squirm. "Well?" My voice could double as a fridge on its time off.  
  
Elrohir coughs. "Ah, we want to apologize."  
  
"So you should. I wonder what Aragorn would think?" I tap my chin thoughtfully. "Even more entertaining then that, I wonder what your father would think, hmmm?"  
  
"Please, Cat." Here I interrupt.  
  
"I did tell you that only people I liked could call me Cat." They seem to shrink. "But if you're really, really nice I guess I could forgive you. And not tell anyone." I smile at their relived expressions. "Good. Now, shall we go back inside? I bet that those maidens are massacring Legolas. You should help him, hey?" I suddenly giggle and stick my tongue out at them. "Come on." I link my arms with theirs and urge them back inside. 


	12. 12

We re-enter the room, and Legolas is looking faintly green. I smirk and have a wicked idea. I whisper in Elladan's ear then Elrohir's. They smile as well then pick me up by my elbows and both kiss me on the lips. Taking turns of course. Nnnyaagghh. They're very good. But I am determined to keep these relationships on a platonic level. Elder brothers, younger sister type of thing. They let me down onto the ground.  
  
I flap my hands at them and shoo them towards Legolas and the cluster of maidens. They pick up maidens and place them away then they turn and bow to two of the maidens, whisper in Legolas' ear and pick out a third maiden. The three Elves and their partners enter the dance. Very elegant. I look up at the dais and see Arwen frowning slightly, but Elrond with an amused twist to his mouth. I saunter over to Boromir, and feel the eyes follow me. I sneak a peek over my shoulder and see all these male eyes on me. I sway my hips a little more and giggle softly as all these female eyes turn into death rays. He he!  
  
Boromir's watching too, I make sure of that. I halt in front of the table and setting my hands on it lean down slightly, as if I am totally unaware of what Boromir can see when I do that. His eyes bug out a little bit and his breathing becomes more rapid. Fun ness! I smile mysteriously at him, then say "Hey Boromir, how's life?"  
  
"Life.life is good." His eyes are glazing over now. It's really very amusing how little it takes. I straighten up and act as if I have just noticed that the chair next to him is empty.  
  
"Wait, I'll come around. Who was sitting next to you?"  
  
"An Elven maiden, I don't know her name. She didn't talk to me."  
  
"Ah, poor Boromir." I reach over and ruffle his hair. He moves his head to the side. "We human types just aren't good enough for Elves, are we?"  
  
"But you are an Elf."  
  
"I refuse to believe that. I'm not so stuck up, and I believe that in the end the length of life does not matter, only how you lived it. And Elves are strange." I say with utter conviction. He smiles.  
  
"That is true." I stand up and walk around to the end of the table. As I pass the Hobbits I absentmindedly ruffle their hair.  
  
"Hey!" Pippin protests, his voice slurred.  
  
"You are drunk, aren't you?" I shake my head at him. "Really. That's quite sad. Wait a minute." I sniff the air, "Is that beer?"  
  
Pippin nods, and waves his cup around. "'Snot very good though. 'Snot a patch onna ale at the Gree.Green Dragon. But it's alright." Frodo rolls his eyes at his relative. Sam tuts under his breath. Merry pinches my arse. I give a yelp of surprise and jump forward.  
  
"Really, Merry, I am not a tavern wench that you can pinch at impunity." I shake my finger at him. Then I notice that he is not listening and is in fact staring down my cleavage. "I don't like to hit people shorter then me, but you're forcing me to break this rule." He is still ogling my neckline. I sigh, and then slap him. Not very hard, but hard enough. He looks stunned. "At this point our relationship has hit a low point. It can recover, or it can get worse. You do not want it to get worse." He is massaging his cheek. It looks a bit red. Pippin is nearly wetting himself laughing, Frodo looks shocked and Sam is being conservative. Hobbits. "Merry, I will talk to you later, when you're not drunk." I turn on my heel and continue grandly to the free seat near Boromir.  
  
I sit down and comment, "Hobbits are strange folk." Boromir nods. I carefully smooth out my skirts and turn to face him. A new goblet is placed near my hand, and I nod my thanks to the page. I sip the wonderful Elven wine. I sit and chat and flirt with Boromir. He responds and tells me of Minas Tirith and his brother Faramir. He truly loves his brother. I wish that I were not alone except for my mother. Single children run in our family. We talk on while Elves come and go, Merry and Pippin pass out and Frodo leaves with Sam. Sam is very protective of Frodo, but I think that they are just very good friends.  
  
Eventually I start to yawn, and Boromir offers gallantly to lead me to my room. I accept, and lean gratefully on his arm. That wine is more potent then I thought. If I can own several vodka cruisers with little effect, surely about 5 glasses of wine would have little effect, right? Wrong. We continue to walk, and we get lost. Well, he's had a few too. We end up outside in a garden, with a seat. Laughing, we sit down and lean against each other. I lay my head against his shoulder and sigh contentedly. I smile up into his face and draw his head down to my mine and kiss him.  
  
He is gentle and kind as we continue to kiss deeply. I open my mouth and the kiss goes deeper, our tongues entering each other's mouths. He is good at this, I note in the very teensy unemotional portion of my mind. We move around on the seat, so that I am sitting on his lap, and he is cradling me. I entwine my arms around his neck and hold him to me. He removes his mouth from mine, and I moan in protest. He licks my ear tips and nibbles on them, I gasp. He continues to do that, which diverts me from what his hand is doing. When I feel his hand on my breast, I object weakly, and then he covers my mouth with his. I surrender to his touch, his kiss. I am drowning in a sea of emotions and sensations.  
  
I sit up and push him away. "Wait.we have just met, and I don't know if I'm ready for this." I draw a shuddering breath and wish that I was not so sober. If I were really drunk, I wouldn't care. He looks hurt. "Oh Boromir." I kiss him gently on the lips. He tries to control it and make it more passionate, but I don't let him. "Don't worry, we've several months ahead of us. Do you want to get rid of all possibilities on the first night?"  
  
"I suppose not. You'd better get off, or I won't be able to let you go." He says in a deep, raspy voice. I giggle and swing my legs off him and stand up. We walk quietly up to my room, after Boromir asks directions from a passing Elf. I stop outside of my room and trail my fingers along the doorpost. "Goodnight, milady."  
  
"Don't call me that. Call me Cat."  
  
"Very well then, goodnight Cat." He kisses me goodnight. I bite down on my tongue to stop me calling after him to wait, and then to invite him in for the night.  
  
"Goodnight, Boromir." I whisper after him. He waves to show that he heard and walks on. Good thing we have enough self-control to make one sensible person. I enter my room and disrobe carefully, laying the dress over the back of the chair. I get all the frippery out of my hair and put it on the small table. I pad over to the bed, wearing only my underwear and turn back the sheets. Bless Arwen, there's a nightie there. I slip into it, then get into the cool, soft bed. I quickly fall asleep, my thoughts centering on Boromir. 


	13. 13

Well, the last chapter was certainly interesting, wasn't it? So we go onwards, and forwards, and proceed in a non-backwards direction type of thing. Ha!  
  
Note: If anyone reading this has sufficient command of Elven, please give me the translations to the Elven I use in my story. Then I'll replace and it will all be good. Cause Caitlyn don't understand Elven either!  
  
  
  
  
  
I toss and turn all night, haunted by dreams. The scene in the movie where Boromir dies replays itself over and over. Except the actor's face is replaced by Boromir's. I wonder hazily if Orcs truly look like that, but will be glad if I never see one to test the movie's depiction. They may be worse. I wake, and rub my eyes to get rid of sleep. I yawn deeply. I move to the edge of the bed and swing my feet onto the ground. I bite back a startled scream as my feet hit the cold floors. Wood is very cold in the morning. Except for the dreams, I had a good night's sleep. That bed! I want to take it home! Drool.  
  
Cursing, I hop from my bed to the chair where I can see my jeans and top have been laid out. I grapple with the nightdress and finally get it off. I shove my leg into my jeans' leg and gasp. Did they starch it or something? I struggle into my jeans and button them up. My bra is with my shirt, and I put them both on. My shoes are a bit harder to find, so I scout around then put them on with my socks. I jump up and down slightly. I am ready to face the day. My stomach grumbles, and amazingly my head don't hurt. I wonder where I get breakfast?  
  
I walk down to the great hall I had dinner in last night. I hope there is food. If there wasn't, I'd just find the Hobbits. Somehow, they always have food. Or are in the process of eating food. I walk into the hall and cheer as I see Hobbits and food. "Food, yay breakfast! Hey Hobbits except for Merry!" I run over to them and serve myself some fruit from a large platter. Merry looks at me in surprise.  
  
"What'd I do?"  
  
"You pinched my arse, then ogled my breasts. I slapped you. And that is what happened last night." I sit and take a large bite from my apple. Merry looks shocked.  
  
"Did I really do that?" He asks the other Hobbits.  
  
"Yes! And oh, the look on your face! And that wasn't all you did last night." Pippin snickers.  
  
"What did I do?" Merry implores. Frodo laughs and all three of the Hobbits tease Merry unmercifully. I smile with my mouth closed as I chew. Merry is getting very annoyed by now, so he just turns to his breakfast and starts to eat it grumpily. I finish my apple off, and put it in a bowl with other pits and cores. I sniff the air and follow my nose to where a side table stands with steaming dishes. I get a plate and load it up with bacon, eggs, sausages, mushrooms and toast. Mmmmm. I sit down and start to eat.  
  
I listen with half an ear as the Hobbits continue to argue merrily among themselves. I wonder if they have something like coffee around here? I look up and wave at Arwen and Aragorn as they enter. They smile and wave back then go and get their breakfasts. Legolas enters after then, and then a random stream of Elves. How does he get his hair to look so good this early in the morning? Boromir! I chew rapidly and finish off the last of my breakfast. I get up and run to meet him. "Boromir! How are you this morning?" He smiles and lays an arm around my shoulders.  
  
"Fine." I glance around the room. Arwen looks amused, Aragorn looks dumbstruck, the Hobbits are laughing and Legolas looks furious. Interesting. "So where's breakfast?"  
  
"One clue for the future, if you're hungry then look for Hobbits. They always know where the food is. Now come on. You're slow, I've had breakfast already. There will be a meeting later. So hurry up and eat! There's lots of stuff I want to do." I chatter at him while we walk over to the tables.  
  
I sit near the Hobbits and he gets his breakfast and sits next to me. He whispers in my ear "I missed you last night." Then he kisses the back of my neck. I can see the others tense as they wait for me to hurt him.  
  
I turn and whisper into his ear "I missed you too, but I wasn't going to invite you in on the first night. That wouldn't be very ladylike of me." He chuckles and kisses me again on the side of my face. I giggle and lightly push him back into his seat. "Eat, then we can walk around and do stuff!" He pauses with his fork half lifted to his mouth.  
  
His mouth quirks "Stuff?"  
  
I nod, feeling breathless "Yeah, you know stuff. I need to know about Middle Earth. And we can walk and talk and stuff." He laughs. I hum, I feel like singing. "Well, I'm going to go back to my room. We'll meet up later. Avoid Legolas, I think he doesn't like the fact that we're sort of something." I say quietly. Then I wave at all the people, and start to walk out. I pause and yell back at Merry. "You can call me Cat again! I forgive you!" I walk out of the room and start to dance and sing. Skater Boy! Such a legend song. "He was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it any more obvious? He was a punk, she did ballet, what more can I say? He wanted her, she'd never tell, secretly she wanted him as well." Elves look at me strangely, but I ignore them. I want to have fun. And it's a not so subtle way to announce to Boromir, and others how I feel. I hear Boromir's laugh and wriggle in delight. 


	14. 14

If I find the people who are reading, but not reviewing, I will bite them! ::Bares teeth in snarl:: Bite! Well, as should be bloody obvious LotR and assorted characters are not mine. If they were, I would be rich. ::Sigh:: And I would own all the spunky men! Spunk! ::Faints:: ::Dies in delight at thought of owning Legolas and Aragorn and Boromir and Frodo and Faramir and.:: ::Reezes:: Oh well, I should keep writing, shouldn't I?  
  
  
  
I slip into my room and grab my bag. I wave merrily at the Elven maiden who's doing my bed, and run out again. I run into someone. "Sorry!" I sing out. It's Glorfindel. Eep. "I'm so sorry, really. Uh." What do you say to an Elf who even the Witch King runs away from? I notice that I'm still plastered to his chest. I step backwards, blushing furiously. He smiles, amused. So glad that he's not angry. I toy with my hair, staring at the ground.  
  
"Don't worry child. Go on and meet up with your friends."  
  
"I'm not a child." I say defiantly, raising my eyes to meet his. He has an aura of power around him. I feel a shrinking in my spirits, but I hold my eyes to his. He nods slowly.  
  
"Perhaps not." We stare at each other for a bit longer. "Naamarie, Caitlyn. I will see you in council with Lord Elrond." With that he strides off down the corridor. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and shiver. He is a scary, scary Elf. Run away! Run away! (Courtesy of Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail) I shrug off the aftereffects of his presence and go back to the Great Hall. I wave at all the people and walk up to the High Table. Before I reach it, Legolas strides out and takes my arm.  
  
"Caitlyn, you cannot mean to consort with that oaf, can you?" He whispers furiously into my ear. "He's mortal!"  
  
"So am I, Legolas. I judge the pointy ears unimportant. Do not forget, a human woman raised me. I do not consider myself to be an Elf." I say to him calmly. Arwen is facing us now, a frown of concern on her face. I think she can hear us. The Elves around us are ignoring us politely. Boromir looks murderous. He gets up and starts to walk around the table. I don't want the Fellowship to begin like this, so I jerk my arm out of Legolas' grasp. "I will talk with you later, Legolas. I will leave you with a thought though. Perhaps I am more like Elrond's brother, then Elrond himself." I walk to meet Boromir and let him slip an arm around my waist. "Let's go." We walk out of the room, leaving Legolas staring after us.  
  
I lean into Boromir and say, "I think that Legolas is jealous."  
  
"So he should be. He missed out on you." I smile slightly.  
  
"Quite a compliment. Flattery will get you everywhere."  
  
"Really?" He leans over and kisses me.  
  
"Mmm. Especially if you keep kissing so good." I laugh throatily. He laughs too. Damn, I'm good at this. We stop, sit and neck for a while. Can you think of a better way to waste time? Or is it really wasting time?  
  
"Aw, isn't this cute?" I hear an amused voice say. I sit up and remove my mouth from Boromir's. It's the twins.  
  
"I do notice though, that you two don't have anyone except each other. Oh how sad." I mock pout. I lean into Boromir and stare up at their faces. They seem embarrassed and a little angry. Laugh. It can be very easy to manipulate males. I wriggle a little, highlighting the fact that I prefer Boromir to an Elf. "Legolas is all alone too. Alllll aaaallllloooooonnnee." I warble. "Ah, the poor little princes got no princesses." I exaggerate a pout, pushing my lower lip out. Then I giggle and get up. Well, I start to. Boromir pulls me down onto his knees. "Boromir!" He nips the back of my neck. "Let me up!"  
  
"All right." With that he opens his arms, and I get up. I stand up then he knocks my feet out from under me with a sweep of his leg and I fall back down into his lap.  
  
"Grrrr! I will get you, you know that don't you?" I slap him playfully. "Please let me up?"  
  
"Since you asked so nicely, yes." Then he pushes me out of his lap. I fall forwards, stumbling into the waiting arms of the twins. Thank goodness for Elven reflexes.  
  
"You are so dead, you realize?" I glare at him, once I disentangle myself from Elladan and Elrohir. Elladan and Elrohir start to laugh, I glare at them, and then they collapse, howling with laughter. Boromir starts to laugh as well. "Honestly! All males are insane!" I stalk off, muttering to myself. 


	15. 15

"Really, I have to talk to him about his deplorable manners! Grrrrr." I walk the paths of Rivendell, talking to myself. The Elves ignore me. They're very good at that. "Stupid Elves, stupid Men, stupid males." I mumble. "So annoyed at Middle Earth in general!" I yell. The Elves look at me shocked, and then go about their business. I stick out my tongue. "Stupid snooty snobby stuck-up Elves." I say under my breath. "Grrrr." I walk along, sulking. I am really sick of being ignored. I hunch my shoulders and trail my feet. Then I decide to climb trees instead. I climb up one, and then pause to survey the rest of Rivendell I can see from my perch. I dangle my legs over the branch I'm sitting on.  
  
I stare down at the ground, and then quickly lift my head when I hear bells. The council! I look around for an Elf I can talk to. Glorfindel! He's scary, but at least he's halfway decent. The bells continue. I'm not in a mood to talk with anyone, so I just follow Glorfindel to where the council is meeting. He goes through an archway to a small garden. I start to climb over the hedge into another large tree on the inside of the garden. I sit above Lord Elrond on a wide branch. He looks upwards and I give him a small wave. He smiles slightly, then talks to Glorfindel, and another Elf standing next to him. Glorfindel bows and leaves. I get my bag, opening it. I get my book out and settle down to read. I already know what's going to happen, so I'll be quiet while they figure out what they're doing.  
  
I am well into my book when the council is fully assembled. I yawn and turn the page. Looking around, I can see all the people who should be here. Boromir, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Groin, Elves from Mirkwood, Elves from Rivendell, Frodo, Gandalf. I think that's it. The main players are here anyway. Sam is behind a tree nearby, and I can see Merry and Pippin beyond the archway. Good. I turn back to my book.  
  
Elrond begins to speak to the Council, welcoming them. "Strangers from distant lands, friends of old, you've been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle Earth is on the brink of destruction. None will escape it. You will unite or you will fall." Elrond's voice rings with finality. The Council members are frowning, the Dwarves especially. Elrond continues. "Each race is bound to this fate, this one doom. Bring forth the Ring, Frodo." Frodo glances uneasily at Gandalf, then stands and stretches forth his hand and places the Ring on the table. Poor Frodo. The Council stares at the ring. A whisper of harsh speech teases my hearing.  
  
"So it is true." Boromir whispers. Frodo sits back down next to Gandalf, looking ill. Cruel whispers of a harsh speech. Legolas looks uneasy, I think that if he was human, not Elven, he'd be a pale shade of green. "The doom of man.it is a gift!" Gandalf looks at Boromir uneasily. I hiss in exasperation. Stupid Boromir. Would he reveal his nature so early? But I will turn it. "A gift to the foes of Mordor! Why not use this Ring? Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor, kept the forces of Mordor at bay. By the blood of our people, are your lands kept safe." His voice rises in excitement. "Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against him."  
  
Aragorn interrupts. "You cannot wield it. None of us can. The One Ring answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master."  
  
"And what would a Ranger know of this matter?" Boromir sneers. Oh dear, that's done it.  
  
Legolas stands up impulsively and answers him. "This is no mere Ranger. This is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance." Boromir stares around at the Council. Elrond shakes his head at Legolas' naivety. Gandalf sighs tiredly. I would climb down and slap Legolas, but I need to leave this alone to work itself out. And Legolas is probably a bit jealous of Boromir anyway. Stupid males.  
  
"Aragorn?" Boromir says disbelievingly. "This is Isildur's heir?" Boromir stares at Aragorn. Aragorn stares steadily back. Stupid, stupid Legolas!  
  
"And heir to the throne of Gondor." Legolas continues spitefully. Rub it in, Legolas. Stupid pride!  
  
"Havo dad, Legolas." Aragorn says, gesturing for Legolas to be quiet and sit down. Go Aragorn! Don't gloat. Maybe this will turn out all right.  
  
"Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king." Boromir says, and then sits heavily down in his chair. He sets his face on his hand, and then looks up at me. I blow him a kiss, and a smile flies fleetingly across his set expression. Aragorn stares thoughtfully at Boromir then turn his attention to Gandalf as Gandalf begins to speak.  
  
"Aragorn is right. We cannot use it." Boromir looks rebuked.  
  
"You have only one choice." Elrond says as he stands. "The Ring must be destroyed." The Council stares uneasily around at each other. I rub my ears. There's that voice again. I'm glad I don't know what it is saying, because it sounds nasty.  
  
"What are we waiting for? Gimli says gruffly. He stands and strides over to the table, raising his axe. Elrond moves to stop him, but Gimli chops with all his might. "Yeaaarghhaaha!" The axe shatters and Gimli goes flying. I wince. Frodo starts and presses a hand to his forehead. He breathes deeply, as if in pain. I turn as that voice speaks again. Evil syllables. Wrong. I rub my arms, caught in a sudden chill. I try and see where it I coming from. I nearly overbalance and fall, but luckily right myself. I take some deep breaths to try and calm down.  
  
"The Ring cannot be destroyed, Gimli, son of Groin," Elrond says in rebuke. "By any craft we here possess. The Ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came." Frodo rubs his forehead uneasily, staring at the Ring. The rest of the Council stares at it as well. Some wearily, some greedily, some knowingly. I shiver as a whisper of that abrasive speech echoes in my ears. "One of you must do this."  
  
"One does not simply walk into Mordor." Boromir says, raising his head. "Its Black Gates are guarded by more then just Orcs." His voice steadily grows louder as he seeks to convince the Council of Elrond's folly. "There is evil there that does not sleep. The Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire, ash and dust. The very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand Men could you do this. It is folly." His eyes close for an instant as he remembers and tries to describe the land of Mordor to the Council.  
  
Legolas leaps out of his chair, voice raised in anger. "Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The Ring must be destroyed!" Legolas looks around at the Council, and pauses at Lord Elrond, seeking affirmation.  
  
"And I suppose you think you are the one to do it!" Gimli demands in an angry sneer. Boromir rises from his seat.  
  
"And if we fail, what then? What happens when Sauron takes back what is his?" Boromir asks impassionedly.  
  
Gimli stands angrily. "I'll be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an Elf!" The Elves come to their feet at this and object furiously. The rest of the council stand and they all begin to argue. "Never trust an Elf!"  
  
Frodo cowers as Gandalf stands and strides over to the confusion, shouting at the Council. "Do you not understand? While you bicker, Sauron's power grows! None can escape it. You'll all be destroyed!" Frodo's breath is coming in pants now as he stares at the Ring. The Ring is forgotten by the Council as they quarrel. Elrond calls for order, but is ignored. I wince and try to cover my ears as that metallic voice invades them. Of course! The Ring. I lower myself from the tree and go stand near Frodo.  
  
I whisper into his ear. "You must volunteer to take it. They will not tolerate each other. Do not worry, they will aid you. Their dislike for other races is too deep for one of then to be the Ringbearer. So you must. Hobbits are neutral in their arguments." I give his shoulder a reassuring squeeze, and then stand. Frodo takes a breath, then stands.  
  
"I will take it. I will take it!" He repeats in a louder voice. I see Gandalf wince and turn to fully face Frodo. The Council stills, they are amazed. "I will take the Ring to Mordor." He affirms. Then a look of doubt enters his eyes, as the Council turns to face him. "Though.I do not know the way." He finishes on almost a whisper.  
  
Gandalf comes to stand in front of Frodo, with a look of compassion on his face. "I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, as long as it is yours to bear." He places a hand on Frodo's shoulder. I smile slightly as the Fellowship forms.  
  
Aragorn stands and says quietly, "If by my life or death I can protect you I will." He makes it into a solemn promise. He walks forward to kneel in front of Frodo and offer him fealty. "You have my sword."  
  
"And you have my bow." Legolas comes to stand near Aragorn.  
  
"And my ax." Gimli says gruffly, but eagerly. He comes and stands by Legolas, who looks down at the Dwarf.  
  
Boromir walks forward slowly and thoughtfully. "You carry the fate of us all, little one. If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done."  
  
"Hey!" A voice cries out. I smile happily as Sam races past me to stand near Frodo. Bless the hearts of Hobbits. "Mr. Frodo's not going anywhere without me." He raises his head and folds his arms defiantly.  
  
"Indeed, it's hardly possible to separate you, even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not." Elrond says dryly. Sam looks down, but Frodo looks grateful for his company.  
  
"We're coming too!" Another voice rings out and Merry and Pippin rush through the archway. Elrond does not look amused. "You'll have to tie us up in a sack to stop us!" says Merry as he and Pippin fold their arms.  
  
"Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission. Quest. Thing." Pippin nods, sure he's got all bases covered. Gandalf and Elrond look frankly dumbstruck at the Hobbits assurance.  
  
"Well, that leaves you out, Pip." Merry says in an aside to Pippin.  
  
I walk forward, ignoring the gaze of those who would deny me this chance. "And I am coming as well. You will need, I think, the benefit of my knowledge. And whatever combat skills I manage to learn. In the dark places, one more companion is always welcome." I stand next to Boromir and take hi hand. He squeezes in reassurance.  
  
"Ten companions. So be it. You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring."  
  
"Great! Where are we going?" Pippin asks happily. I snort in laughter and whack him in the back of the head.  
  
"You idiot!"  
  
"What?" He says with a look of injured innocence.  
  
  
  
Well, that's another chapter done, thank the Sea and Stars. And yes, this scene is set in the movieverse. ::cringes as rabid Tolkien fans appear:: I try and set the story in the bookverse, but the council of Elrond makes more sense the way it's done in the movie. ::disappears under pile of rabid Tolkien fans carrying pitchforks:: I'm sorry! Really. But the Council of Elrond is like twenty pages, and only Sam and Frodo volunteer. And don't you just love it when Aragorn goes "By my life or death." ::sigh in luststruck wonder:: Yes, luststruck. It's like lovestruck but different. But I will endeavor to keep it in the book, but the movie is already cut down, and, and that's just my artistic license! Ner! 


	16. 16

"Lord Elrond, I will have to prevail on your hospitality for supplies." I say as all the others except for Boromir leave. "My unexpected arrival here has left me less then well equipped."  
  
"It is to the honor of Rivendell, that we should outfit the Fellowship." Elrond says quietly. "Perhaps you would like to get started on your training?"  
  
"Yes. I think that would be wise. We should leave as quickly as possible, I think." I nod slowly.  
  
"I must organize scouts, to gain information for our defense. I have a feeling that the subversion of Isengard will be to Rivendell's detriment. I also have to send a messenger to Mirkwood, to inform Thranduil of his son's choice." Here Elrond rubs his forehead tiredly. "I fear that his response will be less then pleasant." He sighs. "But I am sure my sons will escort you to the training yards and get you equipped. They have my permission to remove what they need. Elladan! Elrohir!" He raises his voice. The twins come back into the courtyard, and stare inquiringly at their father.  
  
"Yes, ada?" Elrohir asks.  
  
"Please take the Lady Caitlyn to the Armory and equip her. You three," His gaze includes Boromir as well, "Can begin her training. She will need it. I will tell Arwen to start assembling other items for your pack. Naamarie, Caitlyn, Boromir." With that Elrond leaves. Elrohir rubs his hand together.  
  
"Well, let's go." The twins grin evilly.  
  
I take Boromir's hand defensively. "I don't trust you two. I'm glad Boromir's coming as well." The twins start off and Boromir and I follow. Boromir leans down and slowly licks the tip of my ear. I gasp. "Stop that!" I furiously whisper.  
  
"What, this?" He whispers huskily. Then he does it again!  
  
"Yes, that. Stop. It. Boromir!" I exhale throatily as he continues to nibble. The twins' backs are very stiff and they are studiously ignoring us. Their ears are going red. "I. Mean. It." It's getting very hard to walk and concentrate. God, that feels so good . . . I moan, almost inaudibly. "Jesus . . ." My legs start to buckle and I'm finding it very hard to see as my eyelids flutter. And he hasn't touched any of me except my ear! And only one of them! Christ, are all Elves' ears this sensitive? "This. Isn't. Fair, Boromir."  
  
"You know, you're right. It's not. But it's fun." He whispers into my ear, his hot breath bringing new sensations to my damp ear tip. Then he lowers his mouth and starts to kiss the side of my neck, trailing hot kisses down to my shoulder. I shudder as he holds me up and makes me walk.  
  
"Boromir, stop." He doesn't, intent on making me suffer. I move away, stumbling on weak legs. I lean against the hedge and try to slow my breathing. "Christ, Boromir, we're in public! Do you really think so little of me?" I stare at him angrily. Elladan and Elrohir have stopped and are having a very involved conversation and pointedly ignoring us. "I may not be from Middle Earth, and thus have no angry male relatives to take you to task for my honor, but surely you should respect me?"  
  
Boromir looks chastened and shocked. "Cat . . .I'm sorry, I didn't realize. Will you forgive me, my lady?"  
  
"Yes, of course." With that, he smiles broadly and comes forward and sweeps me off my feet. "Boromir!" I say, laughing happily. He nuzzles my neck playfully.  
  
"Well, if that's over with, we can keep going, can't we?" Elladan says grumpily.  
  
I laugh as Boromir puts me back down on the ground again. "Jealous?"  
  
"Ye . . .no! Of course not!" Elladan splutters. "Let's go." He spins on his heel and stalks off. Elrohir follows him worriedly. I giggle.  
  
"Come on, Elves can get very annoyed and uptight." I whisper loudly to Boromir. Elladan's back stiffens, and he turns slowly around. "Eep! Boromir, protect me!" I hide behind Boromir as Elladan advances angrily on me. Boromir laughs and moves aside, exposing me to the Elf's wrath. "Boromir!" I wail. "That's not what's supposed to happen! Aaaahhhh!" I scream as I start to run away. "Well, sod you then!" I throw back over my shoulder.  
  
Elladan and I run rapidly through the paths of Rivendell. I chance a look over my shoulder, and Elladan's nearly caught up to me! I spin off into a little garden, which leads into a deserted part of Rivendell. I stop, panting harshly as I come to a dead end. I back up against the wall, as it is too high for me to climb. Elladan skids into the garden and advances on me. Elrohir follows, and closes the small door to the garden. Ah, why am I having this sense of déjà vu?  
  
  
  
  
  
Interested? You'll have to wait to find out what the twins have in store for our heroine! Something bad, knowing me and the horrible things I do to my characters. And I do, I do horrible, horrible things to the poor little characters. Mmmmwwwhhhahhhahhhaahahhaaaahhaaaahhaaa! Evil laugh! 


	17. 17

What is the matter with ff.net's censors? So far it has blocked out about five words I have used that were in a non-sexual context. Two in this story, I think. To prick, as in to stab, jab, perforate and so forth. That was used in context with a cat, for goodness sake. Stupid non- discriminatory computer. Caitlyn cocked her eyebrows at the twins, that was in chapter 6, which means she lifted them, raised them, inclined them and so forth. It was not sexual at all! Oy vey. I am getting such a headache in frustration. Grrrr. Missy will wreak destruction on them all! If you want to know who Missy is, go read my story 'What the! Where'd my bedroom go?!" I have been told it's quite funny. Honest!  
  
  
  
  
  
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Really!" I babble as I feel the hedge behind me for handholds. Stupid Elves and the things they do with shrubs and trees! None! None at all! How am I supposed to get out of this? The twins look really angry. I guess they're not used to Elven maidens being so annoying. What can I say? It's a gift. Or as at the moment, a curse. Elrohir leans on the gate and grins evilly. Elladan halts a bare five paces away from me.  
  
"Guess what? Your training starts now." Elladan throws me a sword. Its edges are dulled, I note thankfully as I catch it clumsily by the grip.  
  
"Where'd you get that?" I say as I swing the sword to test its weight.  
  
"We usually carry blunted weapons in Rivendell. It's polite." Elrohir says as he lounges on the garden wall. They are both so cute! Really. But Boromir is dead sexy. They are, aloof, untouchable. Remote. Boromir is nice, and besides I have a job to do.  
  
"So are you going to teach me, or are we going to talk?" I say to them as I settle the sword into my grasp. It feels, right somehow. As if I have forgotten something and needed only prompting to regain it. Elladan and Elrohir start to school me in the basic use of a weapon, so I don't cut myself on it and also the people I don't want to cut. And how to hurt, maim and kill the ones I do. Basic stances and the like, but a little actual dueling. It's embarrassing how easily they beat me. But I don't have their years of experience. We separate and I catch my breath.  
  
"Not bad, for one who has never before held sword." Elladan says, a light of approval shining in his eyes. "Come, try that first movement." I step into it again and he nudges my feet and arms into their proper places. "Practice makes perfect, you know." His head turns as a knock sounds on the small gate. Elrohir opens it and barks in delight.  
  
"Well met, Legolas! Did you bring the bows?"  
  
"Of course I did, but there is scarcely the space for practicing, or teaching archery." He says with raised eyebrows.  
  
"No, not here." Elrohir dismisses with a sweep of his hand. "Come on." With that, he goes out the gate and leaves us all to follow. I grumble, pick up my bag and follow the Elves.  
  
"I would have to be stuck with the craziest Elves in all Middle Earth, oh yes. That's right, precious. Oh gollum, gollum!" Legolas looks around at me when I say that. I start to really get into the Gollum character. He's so funny! "Oh yes, precious. Nasty Bagginses, stole our birthday present. Nasty thieving Bagginses! Gollum, with his tricksey ways. Oh yes precious, stole our birthday present. My precious, my only. No fishes here either precious. Just nasty Elves and trees. No tasty little Goblins to chew, no fishes. And nasty Bagginses! Precious. . ." All in that nasty hissing voice. "Nasty, tricksey Elves, kept Gollum away in chains. Get them back for that, oh yes precious. Gollum, gollum. No fishes with tasty bones to chew, oh no my precious, just trees and nasty, nasty Elves." I am getting quite odd stares from the three Elves. "Gollum, gollum."  
  
"Are you all right?" Elrohir says with concern.  
  
"Oh yes! I'm fine." I say cheerfully. "So where are we going?"  
  
"Outside the city, to where the archery targets are. Can you ride?"  
  
"No. But I can try." Legolas snorts. "Very unrefined Legolas. Where's Boromir, by the way?"  
  
"I think he went to see to his Men." Elladan offers.  
  
"All righty then." I swing my bag from hand to hand. I decide to sing because I am bored. Tribute, by Tenacious D. "This is the greatest and best song in the world. Tribute. Well, me and my brother Kyle here, were hitchhiking down a long and lonesome road," I whistle here, imitating the lonely cowboy music. "Suddenly, there shined a shiny demon, in the middle, of the road. And he said, 'Pllaaaayy the best ssoonnggg iinn the world, or I'll eat your souls'. Well, me and Kyle, we looked at each other and we said, ok. And we played the first thing that came to our heads, just so happened to be, the best song in the world, it was the best song in the woorrrlldd. Look into my eyes and see, see, see, one and one make two, two and one make three, it was destiny. Once every hundred thousand years or so, when the sun don't shine, and the moon don't glow and the grass don't grrrooooow.  
  
"Needless to say, the Beast was stunned. Whip cracked with his whippy tail, and the Beast was done. He asked us, 'Be you angels?' and we said nay, we are but men! Rock oooooooooonnnnnnnn, ooononnooo, oohhhooohhoohhh, oh, oh, oohh. This is not, the greatest song in the world, no, this is just a tribute. Couldn't remember the greatest song in the world, no, this is a tribbuuutte." Then I go into the weird 'flibbertygib' part. The Elves are ignoring me again. Probably the best thing to do under the circumstances. I am very bored, which usually leads to singing. And this is a very cool song. I finish the song off and start being Gollum again. "Oh yes, precious, nasty tricksey Elves and nasty little Hobbits. Nasty Bagginses and their Stings. Oh they're all nasty to poor Gollum, yes precious."  
  
"Could you stop that? It's quite odd." Elrohir says rubbing his ears.  
  
"But you are tricksey, tricksey Elves." I say hissing. "Oh yes, precious. Gollum." I bare my teeth at them.  
  
"Well, we're here now." Legolas says in a relieved voice. I bet he's had quite enough of this unelfly Elf. No, I'm quite unlike the other Elves. "Here, you stand here, on the mark. Have you ever used a bow before?"  
  
"Yes, on a camp. But it wasn't even close to this one." I say appreciatively as he hands me a bow. It's beautiful, the lines flowing, delicately carved with what I presume is Elfish script. I run my hands over it. It's not stringed. "Um, how do I string it?"  
  
"Like this." Says Elrohir as he strings his bow in one smooth movement.  
  
"Oookkaaayy. Can I have a bowstring?"  
  
"Here." Legolas hands me what I presume is a bowstring.  
  
I shrug. "Here goes." I try to imitate Elrohir's example. "Oh shit!" I exclaim as the bowstring goes one way, and the bow another. I duck, but Elladan didn't do it fast enough and the bow smacked him good. "Sorry!" I sing out. Shit. Well, eventually I learn to string the bow without killing anybody. And I'm not half bad, either. On stationary targets, that is. The sun starts to go down, and we start back to the Hall. I hum under my breath and sometimes revert back to Gollum speech. Legolas just stares straight ahead, but the twins play along. Awwww. They're friendly types. I let the twins escort me back to my room and wave them goodbye. Legolas just wandered off on the way back. Time to get ready for dinner. 


	18. 18

I like Gollum. He's so misaligned! Like Hannibal Lecter. Which, when I think about, isn't that bad a comparison. But Gollum is as thick as a brick, and Hannibal is evilly intelligent. Like a snake. Cannibalism is a good way to decrease surplus population and an efficient supply of resources. After all, few things breed as quickly as humans, except for rabbits and insects. And we live longer. My friends all voted me as the last person they would like to be stranded on a desert isle with. Blood is good . . .But onwards with Caitlyn and her travails.  
  
  
  
Another dinner done, another day over, I muse to myself as I brush my hair. Truly, Rivendell is nice and all, and the Last Homely House could win prizes anywhere, but I'm bored. Well, now that I've started training, things shouldn't be so boring. And maybe Boromir will stick around more . . .I sigh dreamily. I stick my tongue out at my happy expression and giggle. I'm being silly. He probably has hundreds of girls in Minas Tirith who hang off his every word. But they're not half Elven, are they? A nasty little voice whispers. My gaze mists over and I blink rapidly. I sniff in misery as I consider the imports of that idea. Now, whenever I am with Boromir, I am going to think of that. Look at his actions and wonder. Hear him and always wonder if he does it out of true feelings or not. Damn my pointy ears. I slam the brush down and wander forlornly to my bed, I slide beneath the sheets and cry myself to sleep. Perhaps things will look better in the morning.  
  
  
  
I was right, things do look better in the morning I think gleefully as my mare vaults over a fallen log. Her hooves thunder upon the grassy ground as we race over the earth, dodging the trees and vaulting low bushes. When the twins, Legolas and Boromir offered to take me riding in the woods around Rivendell, I was hesitant. But they convinced to come and now that I have, I'm having fun. I whoop as she soars over another log. "Fuckin' fantastic!"  
  
"Having fun?" Boromir yells as he draws his horse alongside mine.  
  
"Most def! This is splendiferous!" I say as I turn my head slightly to see him.  
  
"You sure you haven't ridden before?" He says laughingly.  
  
"You bet! Not even a donkey ride!" I turn my mare's head about to follow his stallion between a covert of trees. He draws ahead, going out of sight. I wonder where Legolas and the twins are? I haven't seen them for a while. Which bodes well for them, because I'm in a playful mood. It has lead to blood before, but this is a different type of game. My mind being fully absorbed with these pleasant thoughts involving me, Boromir and a distinct lack of clothes, as my mare is running, she catches her hoof in a rabbit hole and stumbles. I scream out "Shhhiiii-" as I go somersaulting over her head to land flat on my back. I feel my back resound with a shattering crack and my ribs bend. Dazedly, I look up into the blue sky and the branches of the trees. I never really noticed exactly how blue the sky is before, I decide woozily.  
  
"Cat! Cat, where are you?! What happened?!" It's Boromir, he sounds quite concerned. I am so tired, I think I'll go to sleep for a little bit. Sleep would be good. My eyes flicker shut, even as the rational part of my mind screams at me that I probably have concussion and therefore shouldn't go to sleep. "Cat!" I can hear his horse crashing around in the trees.  
  
My mare whickers and noses my shoulder, reins trailing against my throat. Getting no response, she starts to neigh in alarm. Bless those Elven horses, though I didn't think that at the time. All I thought then was, dear god, why won't she shut up? I have a pounding headache! Another horse neighs back in response then more crashing and the sound of hooves. I hear him gasp, and a thud that I presume is he getting off his horse. A rush of hurried footsteps and then he's by my side, lifting me into his arms, cradling me. Something wet drips onto my forehead. I move my head slightly, frowning. It's not raining, is it?  
  
"Ai, why her? Let her wake, oh gods, please let her wake!" He sounds truly in agony. "Cat, Cat can you hear me? Oh wake, why won't you wake?" More tears fall onto my head, wetting my hair. His lips gently brush my forehead in benediction, rest there for a moment then withdraw. I open my eyes to see him trying not to weep anymore.  
  
"You're crying. . ." I say with a tongue that's turned to wood. "Why?" He gapes, then crushes me to his chest, shuddering with the sobs that rip through him. He's really warm, I note drowsily. My head lolls loosely on my neck, finally settling onto his chest.  
  
"I was worried for you. I care deeply for you." Then his head snaps up as I hear more horses approaching.  
  
"Ok then." I say semi-brightly and faint.  
  
  
  
I wake up and stare intently at the ceiling. It's moving, all right? I carefully move my head and look to either side of me. Arwen is sitting on a chair next to the bed. Where am I? My room, in my bed, I think. Arwen looks up and smiles.  
  
"You took quite a tumble there, didn't you?"  
  
"Did I? I'm not sure. . .Where's Boromir?" I raise myself onto my elbows and then blanche as a wave of nausea sweeps over me. I hurriedly lie back down. Arwen smiles mischievously.  
  
"He's been here since he brought you in, about two days ago, but Father. . . added something to his drink to make him sleep. Elrohir and Elladan carried him out this morning, after the drug took effect."  
  
"Two days and I still feel this bad?" I groan.  
  
Arwen laughs. "If you didn't feel this bad, that would be a sign that there was something wrong." Her eyes darken for a moment and she looks down, then she regains her composure and looks back up. "I think that it would be good if you had something to eat. Some broth, or perhaps a light soup. I'll just go and see my father about what he thinks." She rises from her seat and goes to leave. She pauses by the door and looks back at me. "You'll be alright, won't you?"  
  
"Hey, I'm not going anywhere." I assure her dryly. She laughs low in her throat and passes out of the door, shutting it behind her. I sigh and let my head sink further into the pillow. It's a really comfortable pillow. I like pillows, I decide drowsily, then my back twinges and I sigh. I turn around over onto my belly and rest my head on my folded arms. I hear a hesitant knock on the door and try to turn my head to see who it is.  
  
"It's Frodo, Cat. Can I come in?"  
  
"Please do Frodo." I give up trying to see him and return my head to my hands. My back really hurts. "I'm bored and in a great deal of pain, so talk to me, please."  
  
I hear his cautious, shuffling footsteps come into the room, then the squeak of the chair as he sits down. "Well, Boromir's been acting like a wounded bull, threatening Lord Elrond, demanding to know why you weren't healing quickly. Legolas has been drifting around the palace like a ghost. Elrohir and Elladan have been driving everyone mad because they've been getting drunk every night and playing practical jokes while drunk. Which leads to very messy jokes." I laugh hollowly, then wince as my ribs spasm. "Um, Arwen's been here, looking after you, Lord Elrond has been in and out and all over trying to make you well. Sam's been out in the gardens, gardening and worrying. Merry and Pippin have been running around with Elladan and Elrohir, in fact I think that at least half the jokes have been their idea. Bilbo's been quietly worried and Gandalf has been smoking his pipe and frowning a lot. I think that's about everyone." He finishes on a sigh.  
  
"Good to know that I've been missed." I say jokingly. "What have you been doing Frodo?"  
  
"Reading, sitting in the sun, worrying. I heard Arwen say that you'd broken a few ribs and done something to your back. But you're getting better now, aren't you?"  
  
"I think so Frodo, but you'd really have to ask Arwen and Elrond to know for sure."  
  
"Boromir blames himself for what happened." Frodo says in a rush.  
  
"He shouldn't. I wasn't concentrating."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"If I told you, you'd be shocked and appalled." I turn my head to face him, and a corner of my mouth curls up in a languid smile. I continue impishly, "It involved, as I recall, a daydream about Boromir, me and not many clothes." Frodo blushes and looks down, legs swinging idly, his hands twisting around each other in embarrassment. Poor pure little hobbit. I frown and turn over onto my back, sitting up as a great noise starts to echo down the corridor. What is that extremely large amount of noise?  
  
  
  
Who do you think it is? I'm not tell-ing 'oo. Hehehe! Sqqquuueeeeeee! I like cliffhangers. It means you have to wait for me, yay! But I update pretty regularly, so that's all right. Bye for now! 


	19. 19

Did ya miss me? Ya did? Aw, I feel spshesial. Really. Hehehehehehehe! I laugh at you all! Shiva dances! Destruction, death and chaos! Lol. Well, let's just see who or what is making that horrendous noise in the corridor outside Caitlyn's room, shall we? Oh and thanx to my reviewers- Zerah Star, thanks for setting me straight about the chapter as well, Firebird, Midnight, Zebeblum, Lizzie Walker, blue4dogs, Tinne, Audra night, Daemon Woman and tani-rainflight. Thank you all from the depths of my heart. I know I have one around here somewhere. . .wait, here it is! In a jar. Actually, I don't think that's mine. Like, not mine personally. Whose heart is that? I can't remember, I have lots around the place and the label's come off. Have I scared you now?  
  
  
  
"Let go of me! I will see her, despite your foul tricks! Ay, bet that hurt. Now, let go, you thrice damned Elves!" A man's voice shouting. A scuffle. A thud against a wall. Frodo's eyes are wide, staring out of his white face. I sigh and sink back down onto the bed. I think I know who it is. "I said, I will see her and there is naught you can do to stop me!" My door is slammed upon and Boromir stands there, panting. I can see the head of an unknown male Elf over his shoulder. He's going to have a black eye come morning, that Elf. He looks pissed too. "Cat, love, I'm so sorry." Boromir stumbles forward and kneels by my bed. I reach out and weakly ruffle his hair.  
  
"Hey, don' worry bout it. I wasn't concentrating." I lean down and whisper into his ear what I told Frodo. His eyes go wide, then he chuckles deep in his throat. The Elf looks scandalized. Hehe. I like doing that! So prim, proper and precise. Howzat for alliteration?! Boromir gently frames my face with his hands, then kisses me gently.  
  
"Never do that again."  
  
"What, fall off a horse? I didn't plan to do it the first time. I was distracted, as I said." There are these big silly grins on both of our faces. Frodo coughs politely. "Frodo, maaaate, can you hold off the Elves for a moment?" I turn my head and stare at the gathering crowd of Elves near the doorway. "Never heard of privacy? Clear orf!" With offended comments in Elvish, they do. Frodo goes out with them and closes the door quietly. He's a true friend. "Now, what where we up to? Oh yes. . ." Boromir sits on the edge of the bed and commences to show me exactly how worried and afraid and upset he was. Mmmmmmm. He's an awfully good kisser. Can't do much more then that, because Arwen will be back any minute. I melt. Oh yyyeeeessss. . .Rational thought goes out the window, and my back has to really hurt to get my attention.  
  
"Damn!" He springs off the bed with alacrity as a we hear a door knock. Grrr. I hastily try and smooth out my hair and slow down my breathing. My lips feel sore. I hope they're not too red and puffy. I yawn as the door opens. I feel warm and loved. Hopefully, I have laid that voice for good. Die evil, whispering voice, DIE!  
  
"Caitlyn, are you ready to eat yet?" It's Arwen,  
  
"Yes." I call out. Arwen enters, carefully holding a tray with utensils and plates and stuff on it. "Super! Food!" I clap my hands. She sets me up to eat, fussing all the while. Boromir is standing away from the bed now, relegated to standing helplessly. I smile and blow him a kiss, then get stuck into my food. It's really good, like all the food here in the Last Homely House. I dip the bread into the soup and nibble at it. Mmm. I like food. Does everyone like food? It certainly makes living easier. Boromir finally dares to move and comes and stands on the other side of the bed. I finish most of it of, and Arwen takes the tray. "Thanks, Arwen."  
  
"Do not worry about it." She smiles and takes the tray away.  
  
"Are you sure you'll be all right, Cat?" Boromir says as he gets onto the bed and lies down beside me. I turn on my arm to face him.  
  
"Oh most def. I would like to get up now, but I suppose I have to wait for Elrond to say I can. Oh woe is me." I laugh and lie back down onto the bed. His hand plays idly with my hair. He raises himself onto his arm, and then leans over me to kiss me. Suddenly, he flies off me and I am staring into the angry eyes of Legolas. I hear a thud, which I think is Boromir hitting the wall or the floor. Depends on how hard Legolas threw him. "Legolas! How dare you!" I slap him hard across the face. He steps back, raising a hand to his cheek, where I can see a red handprint forming. "Boromir? Boromir?!" I raise myself onto my elbows then determinedly get out of bed, on the opposite side to Legolas. Clutching my ribs, I doggedly make my way over to Boromir, lying sprawled across the floor.  
  
"Cat? Get. Back. In. Bed." Boromir pants groggily as he tries to rise. His expression turns murderous. "I am going to kill you, Elf. No matter your lineage." I slump down next to him, tears rolling down my face from the pain. I embrace Boromir and stare steadily at Legolas through the tears. His Elven façade of disinterest has cracked, and he is gaping in bewilderment.  
  
"Shh, Boromir. He is going to apologize right now, aren't you Legolas?" Boromir raises himself to a half sitting position and wipes the tears from my face with shaking fingers.  
  
"Ah, Cat, why did you get up?" He lifts me easily into his lap and cradles me. We both stare at Legolas, who looks like he wishes the earth would swallow him up.  
  
"Cat-"  
  
I interrupt him. "Caitlyn."  
  
He looks like I slapped him again. "Caitlyn, I am so sorry, I don't understand why I did it. I don't know what possessed me. Boromir, I offer my sincerest apologies, I don't know what came over me." He looks honestly appalled at his actions. Sickened.  
  
"You're not being forgiven that easily. Nuff said, someone help me back to bed." I shakily rise to my feet. Boromir jumps up behind me, shaking his head to clear it of the last traces of dizziness. He takes my arm and helps me hobble to the bed, and then lifts me into it. Legolas hasn't moved, frozen to the spot with chagrin, remorse and shame. He must feel that he has dishonored himself almost past repair.  
  
"If you will please excuse me, Lady Caitlyn, Lord Boromir." He makes a jerky bow and turns to leave.  
  
"Legolas, come here." I say. Boromir growls softly. Legolas turns back and strides quickly to the bedside. He kneels, expression anguished. "Just, don' do it again, hai? Boromir, could you leave while I talk with Legolas please?" Boromir stalks out, back rigid with anger. He closes the door behind him, half slamming it. Legolas looks up at me. "Oh stand up, why don't you? Then grab the chair and sit down." I tell him crossly. He does so quickly. "Now, let's have a little chat. I am, by my standards at least, an adult. What gives you the right to behave like that?" He wilts under my fierce glare.  
  
"I don't know. . . I just, couldn't stand it, watching him over you." Legolas looks away, fists clenching. "It's not right. Shouldn't happen."  
  
"What I choose to do is my business, but the way you're going, you are going to finish off the Fellowship before we even leave." I say firmly.  
  
"And he should have looked after you better. You shouldn't be here, and wouldn't be if he had been paying attention." Legolas' looks up again, eyes flashing sparks.  
  
"Again, my business. Legolas, I would like to be your friend. You were the first person I met, when I tumbled into this world. I used to dream about meeting you, of being in Middle Earth. Of traveling to Mirkwood, or Rivendell. Meeting Elves. Of people with ears like mine, where I was at least partway normal." My breath catches in my throat at remembered pain. "Will you be my friend Legolas?"  
  
"Caitlyn, I would be honored." He says seriously. I grin widely.  
  
"Coolies! Now, let's talk about nicer things. What's Mirkwood like, or rather what was it like before it became the Mirkwood and was still the Greenwood?" We sit and chat, and to tell the truth, it is very interesting. It's one thing to read, quite another to hear from the lips of one who had experienced it himself. Boromir stuck his head around the door.  
  
"Can I come back in?"  
  
"Sure, all's sorted, all's well. Leggy's gonna be good, he promised." Boromir stifles a snort of laughter. Legolas' eyebrows rise so high they almost vanish into his hairline.  
  
"Leggy?" He enquires affrontedly.  
  
"Yep. Leggy. Boromir I haven't decided yet. It's a hard name to shorten." I say on a laugh. Boromir comes and sits on the bed. We all talk. It's good. You can feel the wave of testosterone ebbing. Which is a great and goodly thing. Then there is another knock on the door. We look up, and the twins enter, dressed for travel.  
  
  
  
Sqqquuuuuuueeeeeee! Needed to stop, so I'll just put that in. And this whole story needs to speed up, really. Expect some more action from here on in, folks! Legolas is very jealous here, isn't he? Which may or may not be OOC. I actually don't think he is because as a Prince, he would be proud. And as an Elf, even prouder. Ah guys. And they accuse us of sexual jealousy. Humph. Stupid males. They annoy me, truly they do. But they have their uses. Like doing manual labour and lifting heavy stuff. And taking care of the smarter sex. ie, all women. Hehehe! Lol. Who out there agrees wit me? 


	20. 20

"Cat, sorry to leave you so soon when we have only just received your pleasant company, but my brother and I have been ordered to go on a reconnaissance mission for our father. I do not know when we will return, but hopefully before the Fellowship leaves." Elrohir says smiling. "Finally, a chance to go and hunt Orcs again."  
  
Elladan hits his brother upside the head. "Idiot! Never go looking for trouble, it may find you. Besides we're here for another reason besides telling the attractive Cat of our lamentable impending nonattendance." He grins cheekily. Awww. "And we needed to talk to Boromir too. Boromir, we hand over to you Cat's training. At least try and teach her as well as we would have."  
  
"Ask Legolas for advice if you get stuck." Elrohir interjects. "And we have presents for you, Cat!" Elrohir leaves the room for a moment, then comes back in with loads and loads of stuff in his arms. Ooohh, prezzies! I love getting presents.  
  
"First, we have a bow," Says Elladan, picking something off the pile. Elrohir rolls his eyes at his twin's theatricality. "And of course, a quiver and arrows to go with it." Elladan carefully lays the bow and its equipment on the bed. "And then, some clothing suitable for tracking and adventuring." Elladan holds up a suit of clothing against himself, then places it on the bed. "Course, it'll look much better on you. There are two more like this as well. Also, a pack."  
  
"I have a pack!" I interrupt. "And it's waterproof in addition."  
  
"Ah, but your pack doesn't have the goodies in it that this one does." Elrohir waggles his eyebrows. I stifle a giggle.  
  
Elladan glares at his brother, then continues on. "And finally, the crowning glory, a sword and scabbard." Elrohir lays the last thing in his arms on the bed. I sit up, pick it up and withdraw the sword half a span.  
  
"Ooh, pretty!" I put the sword back on the bed and clap my hands. The twins laugh. "What?" I ask them as if I am honestly puzzled. "Wha ez it?" I mimic the peasant voice from Warcraft. Hehehe! Warcraft peasant voices. . . I like clicking on the critters and making them blow up. And clicking lots and lots on the units to annoy them. Hehe. It's funny. I get a lot of strange looks. They're so furny! I submit to a fit of giggles, and they all stare strangely at me. "Oh dear." I say, "My ribs hurt lots more now. You shouldn't make me laugh." I clutch my ribs. They do hurt.  
  
"You laugh all by yourself. I do not see what you find so particularly amusing." Legolas says in a frosty tone, one eyebrow delicately raised. I pout and hit him on the arm.  
  
"Don't go all Elfly on me. It's boring, really." I say in a superior English voice. "And so lower class, dah-ling. Really, one must always be aware of one's surroundings. And being Elfly is just not the polite thing to do when one is with one's friends." Lady of the Manor voice. I lace my fingers together and lay them delicately in my lap. Legolas looks slightly shocked. I blink slowly. Then I sigh and smile. "I am so incredibly bored. Go get Arwen or Lord Elrond so I can get up, someone please?"  
  
"How can you be bored when you are being entertained by no less then three Elven princes and the son of the Steward of Gondor." Elladan says in a reproving voice.  
  
"Meh. Not impressed." I incline my head to one side and flutter my eyelashes. "Go get ya dad, or ya sis. Go on. Git." I slip into a more Ocker accent.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Go and get your father or your sister." I enunciate clearly and carefully for his elucidation. Gee, I know some big words. "Oops. I forgot, dad is like sit or down here, isn't it? Because Aragorn said havo dad to Legolas in the council and that means sit down." Legolas carefully looks elsewhere. "What words of Elvish do I know?" I tick them off on my fingers. "Naamarie, yrch, havo dad, las, lego," Legolas coughs. I look up, "What? I know that Legolas means green leaf in Elvish. Um, ada, Valar, Maia, mithril. Athelus, I think that's Elvish, melamin. . ." When I say this, the Elves blush. Oh, that's right. "Goodness me, not you guys, oh no. Too stuck up for me! Boromir is much more to my liking, hai?" I turn and smile up at Boromir, who has been sitting quietly behind me all this time. "Let me think, I remember a verse about Gondor . . ." I close my eyes and begin to recite. "Gondor! Gondor, between the Mountains and the Sea! West Wind blew there; the light upon the Silver Tree, Fell like bright rain in gardens of the kings of old. O proud walls! White towers! O wingéd crown and throne of gold! O Gondor, Gondor! Shall Men behold the Silver Tree, Or West Wind blow again between the Mountains and the Sea?" I open my eyes and frown. "At least, I think that's how it goes. . .I could be wrong." (A/N: The verse is taken from the Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers)  
  
"Beautiful . . ." Boromir whispers quietly.  
  
"Not mine! I disclaim all ownership, I just read it somewhere. . .Oops." The Elves all stare at me. "I shouldn't have said that . . . Gandalf is going to get me! Or Elrond is." I add as an afterthought. "Oh Elbereth, I am in deep, deep trouble, I think." I sit and think for a moment. I cough politely. "Well, uh, thanks for the gifts Elladan and Elrohir. Good journeys! Till we once more meet, which will be in a month or so." They smile slightly. "You just wait! You'll see. I know what day the Fellowship leaves as well, so ner!" I stick my tongue out at them. "An' I'm nae atelling you!" I giggle.  
  
Elrohir tilts his head and listens as silvery bells peal the time forth over Imladris. "We must be going, I think that in fact we may be late, so by your leave Cat, we go." Elladan nods solemnly and stands with his brother. They bow and make their farewells, then leave. Legolas and Boromir stay.  
  
"Well, what was that, oh Elbereth, I am in deep, deep trouble all about, hey?" Boromir says with amusement.  
  
"Can't tell you, I said that."  
  
"And where'd you hear that verse? I never told it to you."  
  
"And as you have said quite frequently, you are not an Elf. Why do you therefore call upon Elbereth?" Legolas says, in a tone of superiority.  
  
"Grr. Get me all mixed up why don't ya? Come on, I'm getting up. I know I can do it." I start to swing my legs over the edge of the bed. Legolas gently turns them back. "Oi!" Pushy males. I am cursed with them.  
  
"Do you not remember what happened the last time you got up? Besides I am sure that Lord Elrond and Arwen would be quite upset if we let you up." Legolas says quietly. "Well, I must go. I will be back however."  
  
"Ooh, is that a threat?"  
  
"No, merely a promise." Legolas smiles slightly and rises to leave on that note. Grr, Elves are so high and mighty. And generally annoying.  
  
"See ya, Leggy!" I call out after him. He shakes his head as he disappears from sight.  
  
"Ah, I thought you said you didn't care for Elves?"  
  
"Legolas is just a friend, and that's probably all he'll ever be. He knows that, we sorted everything out. Stop being a possessive male. 'Sides, you have to admit all Elves are attractive, some more then most. But looking is the most I'll do." I tell Boromir.  
  
"Perhaps. I must unfortunately go as well. Duty calls, but I'll stay till Arwen returns." We sit quietly on the bed until Arwen comes in. "Farewell, Cat."  
  
"See ya Boromir." He exits. "Let's get me better, hai?"  
  
  
  
Finally an end to that chapter! Sorry about not posting earlier, but like Boromir, duty called. And it's name was ancient history assessment. DuhduhDAH!! Well, I'll just try and update sooner. 


	21. 21

I decided that my story was moving along too slowly, so I've skipped ahead to when the Fellowship leaves Imladris.  
  
  
  
I shoulder my pack. Boromir stands easy, already armed and ready to go. "I'm still annoyed at the twins. They wouldn't tell me where they went. And I'm eternally curious, so it's not fair that they shouldn't tell me things. It does stuff to my head." I grump as we leave the room. Boromir laughs at my impatience. "Dear me, but it's cold isn't it? You know, back in my home, it'd be summer now. I'm glad for the clothes the Elves gave me, really glad." I comment as we pass a window that looks out onto a wintry twilight garden.  
  
"Well, you were right. We are leaving on the 25th of December."  
  
"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas!" I sing out. Boromir just shakes his head. I've told him about Christmas. "Christmas carols, I'll have to teach you. . .Or maybe I should teach Leggy."  
  
"You know he's still annoyed about that."  
  
"Well, he just has to get used to it. I am queen!" I pronounce, striking a pose. Boromir keeps walking. I hurry after him. "You can't ignore me! Especially if I do this!" I run in front of him, and kiss him. He nearly falls over, shocked. And I did push him rather hard. Then I run away down the corridor dodging Elves. "Hey Glor! How's life?" I wave at Glorfindel and come to a halt. I look over my shoulder; Boromir is slowly walking after me.  
  
Glorfindel smiles. "Good morning, Cat." Yes, he's in the club. The club of 'let's worship Cat'! "I wish you luck and wisdom on your journey."  
  
"Gee thanks. I don't know what I'd do without all you Elves." Impulsively I fling my arms around me and hug him tight. He pats me on the back. Then I run on. "Hurry up, we're gonna be late Boromir!" I hear Glorfindel laugh behind me and Boromir starting to run. He is very loud. I run quietly, only my bag and bow slapping against my back making any noise, I note smugly. We reach the front hall of the Last Homely House and slow panting to a halt. "I won! I won!" I do a victory dance. Boromir picks me up and spins me around. "Ouch! Put me down!" I hammer vainly at the shield on his back. "Ow!" He puts me down on the ground and I shiver as a cold wind blows through the open door. "Cold."  
  
"What do ye expect for winter?" I hear Gimli's gruff voice say.  
  
"Well met, Master Dwarf." I smile at him. Gimli's not so bad as all that. "Hey Frodo, where are the other Hobbits?" I run over and hug him. He looks vainly around for help.  
  
"Coming. Ah, there they are. Merry, Sam, Pip!" Frodo runs over to them. He's a lot better now, but still I fear for him. I know what is to come, that's why. I smile at their cheerfulness. You'd think that we were off for a picnic, rather then to save the world. Aragorn is talking quietly with Arwen. She's got the Elf look on, otherwise she'd be crying. She turns and exits into the corridors of the House. I look around for Sam. He's disappeared again. There he is, just outside. Sam is holding the halter of a pony, stacked high with gear.  
  
"Sam! Is that Bill?" I run over to him.  
  
"Yes, Mistress Cat."  
  
"Just Cat is fine, Sam!" I tell him, like I've told him every time he's said that. He just ducks his head and smiles shyly. "Ah well, guess I'll never be able to make you say it, will I? After all, you always call Frodo Mr. Frodo, or Master Frodo and you're one of his fondest friends."  
  
"You think so?"  
  
"Sam, I know so." I pat Bill on the head and go off to talk to Legolas. "Leggy! How's stuff?"  
  
"Stuff is probably wondering why you are asking about it." He says with a faint smile. I pout and hit him on the arm.  
  
"You know what I mean. Where's Gandalf? Everyone's here but him."  
  
"I am not sure. But he will be here." I nod and lollop over to Boromir.  
  
"Everyone's here. I think we'll move out soon." Boromir nods and pulls out his warhorn. "What are you doing?" I turn and see Elrond coming through the doorway.  
  
"Loud and clear it sounds in the valley of the hills," He says, "And then let all the foes of Gondor flee!" He puts it to his lips and blows a long blast. It's very loud. I cover my ears until the ringing stops. Elrond comes to Boromir's side, frowning in displeasure.  
  
"Slow should you be to wind that horn again, Boromir, until you stand once more on the borders of your land, and dire need is upon you." Elrond says solemnly. I hiss in a breath. Prophetic words, Elrond, but I vow to change the outcome of his actions.  
  
Boromir just smiles at Elrond. "Maybe, but always have I let my horn cry at setting forth, and though thereafter we may walk in the shadows, I will not set forth as a thief in the night." Brave words Boromir. I am freezing so I go and stand near the great fire in the hall. I look up as Elrond leaves, then comes back in with Gandalf. It is so cold, and the light of the fire does little to cut through the mist seeping in through the door. Elrond calls us over to him.  
  
"This is my last word," He says in a low voice, "The Ring-bearer is setting out on the Quest to Mount Doom. On him alone is any charge laid: neither to cast away the Ring, nor to deliver it to any servant of the Enemy nor indeed to let any handle it, save members of the Company and the Council, and only then in the gravest need. The others go with him as companions, to help him on his way. You may tarry, or come back, or turn aside onto other paths, as chance allows. The further you go, the less easy will it be to withdraw; yet no oath or bond is laid on you to go further then you will. For you do not yet know the strength of your hearts, and you cannot foresee what each may meet upon the road." The Company shifts uneasily. Bilbo hurries from Frodo's side to stand with Elrond.  
  
"Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens." Gimli gruffly rebuts.  
  
"Maybe, but let him not vow to walk in the dark, who has not seen the nightfall." Elrond answers.  
  
"Yet sworn word may strengthen quaking heart." Gimli says quietly to this.  
  
Elrond looks on Gimli with new respect. "Or break it. Look not too far ahead! But go now with good hearts! Farewell, and may the blessing of Elves and Men and all Free Folk go with you. May the stars shine upon you faces!" He raises his hand to wish us farewell.  
  
"Good . . . Good luck!" Bilbo stutters, his lips blue with cold. "I don't suppose you'll be able to keep a diary, Frodo my lad, but I shall expect a full account when you get back. And don't be too long! Farewell!"  
  
We move out, Sam leading Bill. Many Elves walk with us part of the way, saying quiet farewells. No songs now, no thanksgiving, no laughter, but a sense of great change. I open myself to the trees and they mourn the beginning of a new age, where all will be pain and fire and chaos. I shiver from more then cold and withdraw back into my self. The Elves left us behind long ago as we reach the top of the hills leading out of the valley of Imladris. We pause there and look back at the lights of the Last Homely House, then we go on. Sam clucks to Bill and I walk with Boromir, glad of his closeness, his aliveness. It is a dull and misty night, and the sun already disappears behind the trees. A glorious beginning to a vital journey. 


	22. 22

We've been traveling for about a week, and I am tired and bored. I've even stopped singing, impossible as that may seem. I just want to get through what I know is coming and into Lothlorien. I plod along beside Boromir. At least I've been keeping up, and the exercise is doing me good, I tell myself fiercely. Exercise good, chocolate BAD! Oh Chocolate . . . Until you don't have something you don't realize how much you miss it. I could have had it everyday back home, but did I? Nooooo. And coffee, dear god how I miss coffee. The herbal teas that Sam makes just don't compare.  
  
"We stop here today." Aragorn announces as he comes to a halt in a clearing. Dawn sun just breaking through the interlacing branches. I can hear water running near by. Water? Maybe I can have a wash for the first time since we left Imladris. The Fellowship starts to set up camp. I drop my stuff, then rummage in my pack for my spare set of clothes. Soap? Is there soap? Bless the twins, there is!  
  
"Do you need me to do anything Aragorn?" I ask him as I straighten up, holding my things.  
  
"No, I don't think so. The Hobbits said that they would get firewood, and Sam is looking after Bill." He answers me quietly.  
  
"Coolies. I'm going to check out the possibilities of having a wash." I saunter over to the line of trees behind which I can hear water. Once I'm out of sight, I start to strip down, folding my clothes carefully and placing them on the ground. Taking the soap, I step carefully into the cool water. With a nostalgic twinge for the baths in Imladris, I start to bathe. The water's good and deep, so once I've finished washing, I play around a little. I throw the soap up onto the riverbank so it doesn't get lost. I'll probably never get another one out here. I dive down to the bottom of the water and hold onto a tree root, letting the current pull at me, but not move me. I open my eyes and stare into the gradually lightening water. The sun must be coming up. I push upwards against the riverbed and leap out of the water, spraying crystal droplets into the sun. I swim lazily over to where I left my clothes and spread my hair out so it'll dry, while I stay in the water.  
  
I feel like singing now, especially because I'm all clean. What to sing, what to sing? Wrong Impression, by Natalie Imbruglia, another Aussie girl! "Calling out, calling out, Haven't you wondered, Why I'm always alone, When you're in my dreams . . ." Good song, good melody. I raise my voice for the chorus, "Didn't want to leave you, With the wrong impression, Didn't want to leave you, With my last confession of love, Wasn't trying to pull you in the wrong direction. . ." I sing on for a bit, then let my voice fade out and just listen to the water.  
  
I float, eyes closed, hands sculling slightly. I almost drift off to sleep, the calm encompasses me and I descend into a trance-like state. I ignore my body, the cold, the waves lapping at my neck, the stiffness of my back. Patterns form behind my eyelids and I watch them drowsily. Lines, shapes, oh the colors. . . Then they start to form, solidify, melt, change. . . An eye! An eye wreathed in flame and it looks, searches for me! It sees me! I writhe under its pitiless gaze, pinned, transfixed. I open my eyes screaming, panting as if I've been running and I have, running in my mind away from the eye and what it knows. Sobbing, I scramble out of the water, snatching at my clothes. I jam my legs into my pants and throw my shirt over my head. Boromir bursts out of the trees, sword drawn. Legolas and Aragorn follow him a moment later. "Boromir!" My voice cracks on a sob. "It saw me, dear god, it saw me!" I run over to him and shaking hide myself in his embrace. I cannot close my eyes, it will find me again.  
  
"What saw you?" He asks, confused. Legolas sighs, I bet he thinks that I am just a silly girl, screaming over nothing.  
  
"The eye, the eye that watches all! Wreathed in flame, it looks for us and it burns, burns with hate!" My words trip over one another. "He knows, he saw me and now he knows!" I stumble back from Boromir, eyes burning with tears. "Sauron saw me, you fools! He knows that I exist and he wants me. You don't understand." I trip and sit down heavily on the forest floor. I pound weakly on the ground with my fist. "How could you anyway? You'd have to see it to understand." I rise and jam my feet into my boots. I lace them up, then do up my shirt. Pushing past the shocked Boromir, I run back to the campsite. I grab my pack and my bow, and then run into the forest. Legs pounding the earth, lungs straining, eyes burning. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I chant to myself, using the syllables to time myself as I run.  
  
Branches whip at my face, and I welcome the pain. It centers me in my body. I blink away the tears and keep running until I can run no more and collapse onto the earth. I gasp for breath, my harsh pants disturbing the peace of the forest. I breathe in a shuddering sigh, then rise to my feet. Which way? Not the way I came, that's for certain sure! I shiver as the wind rips through my clothing to the damp body underneath. Time to go, but quickly and quietly. My head jerks up as I hear a twig snap and I turn, drawing my sword with a fluid movement. Legolas steps out of the trees, arms spread to show he carries no weapon.  
  
"Cat?"  
  
"What? You won't believe me, how could you?" I ask bitterly. "Best thing for me to do is quietly disappear. He's looking for me now, however you discount the danger. And perhaps, he knows about Frodo and the rest of the Fellowship now." I take a few steps backwards, my arms holding the sword steady. "Just let me go, Legolas." Tears start to overflow my eyes as my lip trembles. "I want to go home, Legolas." I let the sword fall with a thud into the ground and grasping the hilt, slide down till I'm sitting and start to weep.  
  
"Oh, child." Legolas doesn't ask questions, just takes my hands from the sword and hugs me while I cry.  
  
  
  
Booohhhoooo!! What a sad scene. I can feel my eyes prickling with tears. I'm really evil, aren't I? Isn't Legolas just a sweetie? He's a nice Elf after all! 


	23. 23

Ppl's like my ficcies! Cookies for all! Cookies! Chocolate chip ones! Merci beaucoup all people who review. And you other people will all burn in hell. With demons poking you with red hot iron thingies. I laugh at you, you sad pathetic types who don't review. And Caitlyn is not a mary sue! I hate the person who said that! She's too odd and normal- well, normalish - to be a mary sue.  
  
Legolas leads me back to the Fellowship, with me arguing every step of the way. Boromir doesn't know what to do, and I am giving him clear 'back off' signals. I shake my head angrily at any offers of comfort, I need to be alone. As alone as I can be with nine other people around me constantly. I close my eyes and dare the Eye to come back. It doesn't, so I scream constantly in my mind in fear and anticipation. I want to face it, yet am terrified of it coming. Duality, ambiguity. Two halves of myself, fighting each other.  
  
"Cat?" I look up, and it's Frodo. He knows what I am going through. My carefully held in tears break through my composure and I fling my arms around his neck and hug him tightly. He pats my back awkwardly.  
  
"I'm so sorry Frodo." I say brokenly.  
  
"What for?" He draws back a little and looks at me. "You have done nothing."  
  
"Not yet. Not yet. I'm so afraid, Frodo." I confide to him. "So deathly afraid."  
  
"I think you should talk to Boromir. Or Legolas." He offers Legolas's name as an afterthought. "Go and talk to Boromir. He worries for you too."  
  
I look over Frodo's shoulder and catch sight of Boromir. "Thank you Frodo."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For being you. For listening." I wipe my eyes and draw a shuddering breath. I stand up and walk to the outskirts of the camp. Leaning against a tree, I stare into the sunshine. Traveling by night is playing hell with my bioclock. A person comes and stands beside me. I turn my head a little and look at Aragorn. "Hey Aragorn." I say quietly, then I look forwards again.  
  
"Do not blame yourself. Come and rest, we have far to go tonight." He says gently.  
  
"In a minute. When do I have watch?"  
  
"Last."  
  
"Thanks Aragon." He turns and leaves me. I open myself to the tree and converse with it. Then I start as a hand falls on my shoulder. I jerk my eyes open and look into Boromir's face. "Boromir. . ." He cuts off my explanations by kissing me. I open my eyes wide in surprise then surrender. He backs me up against the tree and to keep my balance, I hook one leg around his. I break it off and stare at him thoughtfully. "I need to sleep Boromir."  
  
"So do that."  
  
"Ok, I have last watch. What watch do you have?"  
  
"I have none tonight. Come and rest."  
  
"Ok." I let him lead me by the hand to the fireside and docilely wait as he gets my sleeping roll ready. I yawn, as I am very tired. He sets his blanket up next to mine and leads me down to the two. I sway unsteadily on my feet and let me push me down onto the blankets. I mumble sleepily as he lies down next to me and cradles me. "G'night."  
  
"Sleep well." He whispers into my ear. And after a while of that hazy thinking between wakefulness and true sleep, I fall asleep. An indefinable amount of time later, a hand shakes my shoulder.  
  
"Mmmpphh, what?" I say drowsily as I wake.  
  
"We move out again, I took your watch." Boromir tells me.  
  
"Boromir, don't do that!" I feel very annoyed with him.  
  
"We could not wake you. Gandalf said that was to be expected after what happened. Something about how the Eye probably drained you a little."  
  
"Yes, that would explain why I feel asleep so easily. I usually don't." I stretch the sleep kinks out of my muscles as I talk with Boromir.  
  
"We go." Legolas says as he suddenly appears out of the gathering dusk.  
  
"Shit, don't scare me like that!" I tell him crossly. "It's polite to give some notice that you're around. My heart's going like a racehorse now. Feel." I take his hand and put it on my heart. I snort in annoyance and push him over, using his arm. He goes down easily, too surprised to react, I think. Boromir just gapes at me. "We go?" I mimic nastily and I jog up to where Sam is holding Bill's reins. "Hey Sam."  
  
"You all right now, Mistress Cat?"  
  
"I'm fine Sam. Or I will be once we get moving. My muscles feel all tight." I tell him as I stretch some more. My arms windmill in surprise as someone trips me and I fall over. "Fu- oomph!" I hit the ground and wheeze.  
  
"Not very nice Cat." Legolas scolds me. "Not becoming an Elf."  
  
"I'm not an Elf!" I tell him irritably as I stand up. "Ugh, dirt." I brush futilely at my shirt. "Stupid Elf." I mutter crossly. He trips me again. This time, I landed with my mouth open and I spit out dirt. "Nasty!" I claw at my tongue to try and get the mud off it. I realize dimly through my disgust that Legolas is howling in laughter. "You die!" I scream and leap for him. His eyes open wide in shock, then I am ramming his perfect hair into the earth. "Stupid nasty Elf!" I kick him in the ribs and he stops trying to get up. I grin wickedly, then get a handful of dirt and shove it into his gaping mouth. He splutters and chokes. I hope he dies. I get up, and after giving him a last kick in the ribs, walk away.  
  
"If you're quite finished children." Gandalf says in a mild tone. I take a deep breath and smooth my hair down as I take in the other Fellowship members reactions to mine and Legolas's little scuffle in the dust. The Hobbits are shocked, but Merry and Pippin are howling with laughter. Gimli is laughing, well he would be. He doesn't like Legolas very much yet. Aragorn is very carefully not looking at the winded Elf. Boromir smiles broadly as I come and stand next to him.  
  
"Well done." Boromir whispers into my ear.  
  
"Stupid stuck up Elf. Think he can trip me, can he? Not f***ing likely." I say crossly. "All of the Elves are such tossers. Suffering from a major case of the galloping hubris."  
  
"Hubris?"  
  
"Over reaching pride that leads to destruction." I say gloomily as we start to walk again. "I hate walking with a vengeance now." Boromir just laughs at me as we walk on into the night.  
  
  
  
  
  
Sorry about the long wait. Had a major writer's block. But it's all good now. I hope. Thanks to my reviewers, I love you all, and so on and so forth. 


	24. 24

Ok, we pick up again with the crebain out of Dunland. I am taking this from the book, so it's a bit different from the movie version. It's set about a week after the last chap. Went and saw the Two Towers! Is so so so so so so so so sososososososososososososo gooooooooooddddddd! I can't express how good it is! If you haven't seen it, go and see it now! Now, I command thee! Gollum rocks! It's so funny watching him/it argue with him/itself. What the fuck is Gollum anyway? Really? And Elijah Wood just rox my sox! He's so cute and Hobbity! All that Hobbity goodness! And more Legolas and Aragorn, but no more Boromir. Which is sad. And Faramir is soooooo cute! Aussie, aussie, aussie, oi, oi, oi! Yay, whoohooo and other similar comments about the sexiness of Aussie guys.  
  
  
  
I warm my hands at the fire. Mmmm, warmness. The Hobbits are a lot happier now we actually get to have a cooked breakfast. I glare over the fire at Legolas. He keeps tripping me. Am covered in bruises. Annoying Elf. "Ow, dammit!" I yelp as I prick myself on the holly.  
  
"For someone who is an Elf, you are remarkably deficient in woods craft." Legolas says coolly.  
  
I growl at him. "Not an Elf. Don' want to BE an Elf." Gimli chuckles at my reply. I yawn deeply and cuddle Boromir. "You know, shaving is a thing that is good." I say sleepily as his beard tickles my face. "Gimli's a Dwarf, so of course he has a beard. And Gandalf is old, so no one cares anyway. I'm babbling, aren't I?" I shake my head in disgust. Boromir laughs. "When I'm tired, I tend to babble inanely." I wave a hand around in a dismissing way. "Where's breakfast?"  
  
"Nearly done." Says Pippin merrily.  
  
"Good. Smells good, what is it?"  
  
"Some fried ham, bread."  
  
"Apples?"  
  
"Why apples?"  
  
"Fried apples with fried ham is a good combo. On a bit of bread, it's fantastic." I close my eyes and savor the idea. "But you have to make sure you don't burn the apples. Just kinda cook 'em a little. But what's even better then that is eggs and bacon and pancakes covered in loads of maple syrup." Mmmm. Canadian breakfast. The Canadians have probably never heard of it.  
  
"With maple syrup?" Pippin sounds a mite grossed out.  
  
"It's nummy." I open my eyes and blink innocently at him. "It's all sugary and you mop up the egg yolk with your pancakes, and the maple syrup goes all over everything." I lick my lips, while he looks repelled. Legolas is staring at me strangely. In fact, all of the Fellowship I can see is looking at me strangely. Even the fucking pony. "Mmmmm. Is good." Better not tell them about one of my other favorite dishes, which is Nuttela and peanut butter with jellybeans on toast. Jellybelly jellybeans, of course. Cappuccino, popcorn and toasted marshmallow flavours. Though they probably only know what toast is.  
  
"Well, breakfast is ready now." Sam says in a relieved voice. We shut up and eat. Afterwards, no one really wants to sleep straight away because we're staying here for a night and a day, then traveling again by night. Aragorn keeps getting up and looking around, strange. It all seems normal here. Legolas isn't worried. I laugh at Gimli as he nearly falls into the holly, then do a 'who, me?' expression when he glares. Aragorn gets up and goes and leans on a tree that is a bit away, out of the hollow.  
  
"Wonder what's up with Aragorn?" I ask Boromir quietly.  
  
"Who knows?" Legolas answers me from across the fire. I scowl at him. Damn him and his pointy ears. Then I laugh as Boromir whispers something inappropriate in my ear. We laugh as Legolas blushes.  
  
"Some things are private, Leggy!" I tease him and then I stick my tongue out at him. "Naughty Leggy. I wonder how the Elves manage actually. I mean, with the super hearing it must get a mite embarrassing with all those Elven couples climaxing and being able to hear them. At least, I would hope they were climaxing." Legolas just gets redder. Everyone except Legolas and Aragorn are laughing. Embarrassing Legolas is fun.  
  
"What is the matter Strider?" Merry calls out. I look up from teasing Legolas, and Aragorn is staring down at us with a grim expression on his face. "What are you looking for? Do you miss the East Wind?"  
  
"No indeed," He answers slowly, "But I miss something. I have been in the country of Hollin in many seasons. No folk dwell here now, but many other creatures dwell here at all times, especially birds. Yet now all things but you are silent. I can feel it. There is no sound for miles about us, and your voices seem to make the ground echo. I do not understand it." He rubs his thumb over his upper lip thoughtfully.  
  
Gandalf looks up with sudden interest. "But what do you guess is the reason? Is there more in it then surprise at seeing four Hobbits, not to mention the rest of us, where people are so seldom seen or heard?"  
  
"I hope that is it." Aragorn says wearily. "But I have a sense of watchfulness, and of fear, that I have never had here before."  
  
"Then we must be more careful." Gandalf says authoritatively. "If you bring a Ranger with you, it is well to pay attention to him, especially if the Ranger is Aragorn. We must stop talking aloud, rest quietly, and set the watch."  
  
"Damn it." I whisper quietly as Aragorn sets the watches for the day.  
  
"Sam will take first watch. . ." We all settle down into sleep, while Sam sits up and Aragorn talks to him quietly. Everyone else seems to fall asleep quickly, but not me. Damn insomnia. I stare at the fire as it gently burns down to ashes, Boromir's arm encircling my waist. He mumbles in his sleep and hugs me closer. Loud, every noise we make seems amplified, exaggerated.  
  
"What's that Strider? It don't look like a cloud." Sam whispers. I look to where Sam and Aragorn are sitting, and my eyes widen as a great wheeling crowd of black birds draw nearer to us, seemingly drawn in one direction. A large group breaks off and looks like they're heading straight for us.  
  
"Lie flat and still!" Aragorn hisses as he pulls Sam under a holly bush. I try to stop breathing as the birds fly straight overhead. One croaked hoarsely, the only sound apart from the wind through their feathers. Eerily silent for birds, especially crows. Silence as the birds fly away, I can see Aragorn's hand held over Sam's mouth. The birds fly into the distance, out of sight and only then does Aragorn move. Aragorn wakes Gandalf by shaking his shoulder. Gandalf sits up, looking annoyed, which fades away as Aragorn talks to him. "Regiments of black crows are flying over all the land between the Mountains and the Greyflood and they have passed over Hollin. They are not natives here; they are crebain out of Fangorn and Dunland. I do not know what they are about: possibly there is some trouble away south from which they are fleeing; but I think they are spying out the land. I have also glimpsed many hawks flying high up in the sky. I think we ought to move again this evening. Hollin is no longer wholesome for us: it is being watched."  
  
"And in that case so is the Redhorn Gate, and how we can get over that without being seen, I cannot imagine." Gandalf looks very solemn. "But we will think of that when we must. As for moving as soon as it is dark, I am afraid that you are right."  
  
"Luckily our fire made little smoke, and had burned down low before the crebain came. It must be put out and not lit again." Aragorn says, then goes to his bedroll to sleep. Damn, damn, damn! No hot food tonight. I fall asleep as Sam continues to watch, now from a place that is less exposed.  
  
End of dis chap! Yay! Thanx my reviewers, and there will be action on the Cat\ Boromir front. But at the moment they're both too damn tired to even think about it. Cuddlings as far as it is going for now. And n e way, they're constantly surrounded by eight others. Would you really like to get close with your guy, knowing there were other guys around? Ew, no way! Esp. when one of 'em is Gandalf. Eeeewww. General freaking out ness right there. Gives me the wiggins even thinking about it. Bad thoughts. And just a note, I think Cat's tastes are disgusting. Ew. My sis loves Canadien breakfasts though, so that's where I got it from. But I have never heard of anyone eating the toast thing. 


	25. 25

This is following almost straight on from the last bit. Dusk, and we set out. The Hobbits had been the loudest complainers over the no fire rule, especially Pippin. Stupid birds is the general consensus between the Hobbits and myself. Damn the stupid birds to burn in hell. "Cold." I complain to Boromir as we start to walk towards what I have been told is Caradhas.  
  
"Be colder up there." He nods towards the distant peak.  
  
"Damn."  
  
The Fellowship walks in silence, then Aragorn guides us onto a road, a broken road, but still. Paved roads are a nice change. The moon is full, so it's easier to see where we're going. Broken rocks everywhere, no trees, and few bushes. It seems like there is nothing here except for us. Too quiet. The echo of the pony's hooves against the stones of the road seems really loud. The landscape almost reminds me of the pictures of the moonscapes that you can see on the old videos of the moon landings. Cold, sterile with lots of bumpy bits. We remain silent through out the journey, except for my curses when Legolas trips me. Stupid Elf. Thinks he's so fucking funny.  
  
In the hour before dawn, I shiver as a weird feeling goes over my back. Something strikes a note of warning in my mind, no, not my mind. The feeling is centered in the more instinctive parts of me. The bits from when the shadow overhead meant something was hunting you, from before the shadow overhead meant there was something for you to hunt.  
  
"Did you see anything pass over?" I hear Frodo whisper to Gandalf. At least it's not just me.  
  
"No, but I felt it, whatever it was." Gandalf replies in a low murmur. "It may be nothing, only a thin wisp of cloud." Well, if Gandalf felt it, it definitely happened. I feel a whole lot better now. Not that paranoia isn't healthy. On the contrary, a healthy sense of paranoia is essential to continual survival.  
  
"It was moving fast then," Mutters Aragorn, "And not with the wind." Not good. I'm sure there's lots of weird and creepy creatures that that could have been. Eep. Most def not a good thing.  
  
  
  
Two more nights walking, and we reach the foot of Caradhas. I chafe my arms and shiver as I look upwards. I know what's gonna happen. Badness of foresight. Cassandra, I scold myself, you don't make the prophecies. You don' tell them nothing. They won't believe you anyway, like the Trojans didn't believe Cassandra. But we won't get trounced. I hope. They didn't in the books. Aragorn and Gandalf are arguing about something, and Frodo looks worried as he listens to them. I move up to where they're talking and listen in.  
  
"-the weather may prove a deadlier enemy then any. What do you think of your course now, Aragorn?" Gandalf says quietly.  
  
"I think no good of our course from beginning to end, as you know well, Gandalf," Aragorn answers slowly, "And perils known and unknown will grow as we go on. But we must go on; and it is no good delaying the passage of the mountains. Further south there are no passes, till one comes to the gap of Rohan. I do not trust that way since your news of Sarumon. Who knows which side now the marshals of the Horse-lords serve?"  
  
"Who knows indeed! But there is another way, and not by the pass of Caradhas: the dark and secret way that we have spoken of." At these words of Gandalf, I shiver. Morior. And the Bal-Rog. The flight to Lothlorien.  
  
"But let us not speak of it again! Not yet. Say nothing to the others, I beg, not until it is plain there is no other way." Aragorn says vehemently.  
  
"We must decide before we go further." Gandalf answers quietly.  
  
"Then let us weigh the matter in our minds, while the other rest and sleep." Aragorn says with a note of finality, then he strides away from Gandalf to organize the company. I walk and stand next to Gandalf.  
  
"Hey." I say quietly.  
  
"Hello, Lady Caitlyn." Gandalf looks down at me and smiles faintly. "What is your knowledge of what we will do?"  
  
"I can't tell you. I could change things, so that we lose." I clap my hands over my mouth at my inadvertent slip. "Oh no!" I moan behind my hands.  
  
"Consider it forgotten." Gandalf chuckles.  
  
"Thanks." I yawn widely. "I'm for bed. Have to see if I'm on watch."  
  
"I have a feeling that Aragorn will want to stand watch today."  
  
"Aragorn's annoying as all get out." I say with feeling. "I have a plan to make him laugh, one day. And I have to get Legolas back for tripping me. Is he deathly afraid of something?"  
  
"Not as far as I know."  
  
"Damn. Have to look further a field, cause it's damn sure I can't scare him by creeping up behind him." I frown as I wander off. "Damn him and his pointy ears."  
  
"Damn who?" Legolas inquires, one eyebrow delicately raised.  
  
"You." I snarl in ill temper. "Damn I miss coffee. Caffeine hit needed." I mumble to myself as I slump down next to Boromir. I rub an eye with the back of my hand. "Stupid Elf." I yawn again.  
  
"You know, you'll need to get over that." Boromir chides me.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Legolas is a good fighter, and we will all need to get along."  
  
"Doesn't make him any less of a bastard though."  
  
"As far as I know, Legolas is the legitimate child of king Thranduil."  
  
"Thranduil is a tosser as well. He chucked the dwarves in gaol because he wanted Smaugh's treasure. And then, he was going to attack them after Smaugh died. Thranduil is a nosy bastard too. Bet he's as arrogant as his son." I stick my tongue out at Legolas. "Elves are such arrogant sons of bitches. I don't mean you Aragorn." I add as an afterthought. "You weren't born an Elf, so you have the basic saving of humanity's nature." Aragorn just smiles. "And Arwen's nice too. But Elladan and Elrohir spied on me while I was bathing, so that's not very nice. I mean, they cut holes in the roof of the bathroom, so that implies forethought." My tired ramblings come to a halt as I really look at the faces of the males around me. Especially Boromir. "Oh dear."  
  
"They WHAT??!!!" Boromir basically yells.  
  
"I got them all wet, so it kinda evened out." I reassure him. It doesn't appear to be working. "Arwen needed leverage." I babble on. Aragorn starts to frown. "Sisters always need leverage over their brothers, fact of life. Even if I didn't personally have any, my friends did." I am really not doing very well. "Um, er, they weren't allowed to call me Cat for a really long time?" I offer in desperation. "They're male Elves, so it all makes sense because male Elves are dirty minded? I got them back, so I don't care?" This is so not working. "Can we just forget I ever mentioned the twins?"  
  
"No." Boromir tells me very calmly. "I will endeavor to find a way to castrate them when we return to Rivendell."  
  
Nasty. "They're needed! Alright? Intact, all parts working. Like Aragorn can't die because he needs to marry Arwen, and you all need to keep alive! It's kinda of a thing. Christ!" I yell in exasperation. "I'm not supposed to tell you any of this stuff! Grrrr!" I get up and stalk away, shoulders hunched. "Can't tell you what I know, could change stuff, why can't I just forget?" I feel like screaming. But I restrain it, because there are nasty guys looking for us. Grrrr.  
  
  
  
Cat is just a wee bit frustrated. Sexually and otherwise. Stupid Legolas. Thnax my reviewers. So nice to say that Legolas is Elfly. He's meant to be, and yes, the whole Cat hates his stupid arrogant arse will go somewhere. Sometime in the future. 


	26. 26

I really can't believe how long this story is, and I've barely got up to Caradhas. I spent so long on the council of Elrond. . . But that's all right. Cat is complex and needs working out. And none of you were bored. I hope. Awww, I feel speshial after all my nice reviews. Thanx you nice ppls. I love you, in a purely siblingess or friendessness way.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Great, now it's fucking snowing. I hate winter. Why aren't I in Australia where it's nice and warm? Why am I here in a fucking story, for fuck's sake? Stupid stupidness. I narrow my eyes as I stare at Legolas. Stupid Elf, dear god I hate him. Why? Perhaps it's the whole 'I'm Elven, so I'm so much better then all you mortals' trip he's got going. Perhaps it's just because he keeps tripping me. Maybe I just hate him on general principles. Stupid Elf and his perfect hair. I glare at Legolas. Stupid Elf not sinking into the snow like the rest of us. I reach down and gather a heap of snow. Still staring at his back, I mould it into a ball. I throw it at him, and hit the back of his head. Bull's-eye! I look away immediately and pretend to fall over. Obviously, if I'm falling over, I can't have thrown the snowball.  
  
"Cat!" Legolas calls out. Oh dear, I don't think I fooled him. I get up and look at him. Thwack! A snowball hits me in the face and I fall over again.  
  
"Boromir!" I splutter through the snow, "Get the stupid Elf! He's throwing snowballs at me, with no provocation!" Boromir laughs and picks me up. He kisses me, and I forget the annoying Elf as I twine my fingers in his hair. They really teach the guys to kiss around here, if Boromir's anything to go by! Then we both fall over as a barrage of snowballs hit us. "Who was that?! You will pay, pay in great drops of blood!" I scream through the falling snow. I charge over the ground and try to hit Legolas. He hears me coming, as he always does, and trips me. I trip him by sweeping his legs out from under him, and he falls down. I am prepared and he isn't, so for a while I have the upper hand, and get on really well with the task of suffocating him in the snow. Until someone hauls me off. "Damn it, let me kill him!" I yell, squirming around.  
  
"We do NOT have time for these games!" Aragorn growls into my face then drops me abruptly.  
  
"Well, someone needs to get laid." I say huffily as I once more pick myself out of the snow.  
  
Aragorn ignores me. "Legolas, are you hurt?" He reaches down into the snow and pulls Legolas out, who's spitting snow. And his hair is finally messed up! Score for me! Legolas looks at me evilly as he stands once more on the top of the snow. I stick my tongue out at him and saunter over to Frodo.  
  
"Hey Frodo."  
  
"Cat, I really think you need to leave Legolas alone."  
  
"He is irritating. And he thinks he's such a hotshot because he's an Elf."  
  
"Hotshot?"  
  
I click my fingers and frown as I try to translate. "A big guy, an all round fantastic person, an expert in all matters, uh, an adept. What he really is, is a guy full of his own importance."  
  
"He is a prince." Frodo gently points out.  
  
"Which makes it worse. Sheesh, look at Aragorn. He's nowhere near so stuck up, and Aragorn is the lost heir of Gondor. And the chief of the dunedain. I think. Maybe it's just because Legolas is an Elf." I frown. "Glad I'm not an Elf." I take Frodo's arm and start walking again. "C'mon. I'll smooth out the snow for you." We all walk in silence as the snow falls heavier and heavier. Frodo falls back to where Sam is leading Bill, and I stick with him. I promised, didn't I?  
  
"I don't like this at all." Sam pants just behind us. It's getting hard to see, the snow falls so heavy. Can hardly see through it to the shapes of the people in front. "Snow's all right on a fine morning, but I like to be in bed while it's falling. I wish this lot would go off to Hobbiton! Folk might welcome it there." I smile and keep trudging through the snow, until I nearly run into Gandalf, who has stopped.  
  
"This is what I feared." Gandalf says as he stares ahead into the falling snow. Falling? Cascading! I wonder how long it will take before Gandalf is fully covered in snow? "What do you say now, Aragorn?"  
  
"That I feared it too," Aragorn answers him, "but less then other things. I knew the risk of snow, though it seldom falls heavily so far south, save high up in the mountains. But we are not high yet; we are still far down, where the paths are usually open all winter."  
  
"I wonder if this is a contrivance of the enemy." Boromir suggests as he comes and stands next to Aragorn. "They say in my land that he can govern the storms in the Mountains of Shadow that stand upon the boarders of Mordor. He has strange powers and many allies." Creepiness! Bad, bad Sauron.  
  
"His arm has grown long indeed," Gimli says, "if he can draw snow down from the North to trouble us here three hundred leagues away." Gimli is so short! Won't take long until he's covered up with snow, all over the pointy hat! Laugh. Silly shortness. Which reminds me. . . How are the Hobbits doing?  
  
"His arm has grown long indeed." Gandalf says as he starts forward again. We all follow the grey man. Cold. So frigging cold. I decide to sing to keep my spirits up.  
  
"I'm standing on the bridge, I'm waiting in the dark," Avril Lavigne's 'I'm with you.' "I thought you would be here by now. There's nothing but the rain, no footsteps on the ground, I'm listening but there's no sound. Isn't anyone trying to find me? Won't somebody come take me home? It's a damn cold night , trying to figure out this life, won't you take me by the hand, take me somewhere new, I don't know who you are but I, I'm with you. . ." Kinda appropriate. My mum'll be worried sick, and looking for me, and here I am, stuck barely a quarter of the way up a mountain, in a story. Don't know who these people are, that's for sure. And it's damn cold up here. My voice breaks a little and I shake my head and keep singing, despite the curious cold on my face. "And everything's a mess, and no one likes to be alone. Isn't anyone trying to find me? Won't somebody come take me home? It's a damn cold night. . ."  
  
  
  
  
  
Cat's feeling a tiny bit alone and isolated. And out of place, so far away from everything. . .And if you haven't bought Avril's album, do so now. Or as soon as possible, because it rocks. Really good songs on it. One is now my theme song, 'Anything but ordinary.' Ordinary is boring. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it! 


	27. 27

Damn, damn, damn, DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just erased this whole chapter by accident! **kicks computer and screams in frustration** May be a little while before I feel good enough to cope with writing it again. **kicks computer some more** I hate computers with a vengeance! **throws computer out the window** AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Stupid stupid evil malicious malevolent computer! You go to hell, you burn in hell and you die! My paranoia in relation to computers is entirely justified, as this shows. AHHHHH!!!!! So much frustration and anger!  
  
Ok. I'm back. But I still carry such anger! Damn you to hell! Stupid computer! **smiles sweetly** oh, and thank you to my reviewers. You're so nice. I really do appreciate it. I just have been working on a HP fic. Which has over three hundred reviews, so you'd better get off your freaking arses! I mean that in a nice way, of course. Ahem. So we go on.  
  
And then I find out one of my fics was deleted, and my updating anything not allowed! This will be the most awaited chapter ever. And that three hundred review story? That's the one that got deleted. Censorship bites.  
We halt a little further on and eat lemblas. It's good, but I fantasize longingly about a cup of hot chocolate and a pain au chocolate, straight out of the oven, when the chocolate's still all gooey. And sweet chilli sauce on top. Mmmm. The wind dies down a bit and we get going while the going's good. Then the wind picks up again. I blink as the snow adheres itself to my eyelashes. The poor little Hobbits, if I'm doing this badly. I bend almost double as I try to force a way against the howling wind. Suddenly, we halt. And then the stones start to fall, among these weird and eerie noises. "Fuck!" I yelp as one crashes right in front of me. I jump backwards, and then Boromir grabs me and pulls into the side of the mountain. I stare in shock at the stone that would have made me an ex-Cat as it thuds into the ground where I had jumped to. The rest of the Fellowship follows Boromir's example as the stones continue to fall.  
  
"We cannot go further tonight," Boromir calls out against the wind. "Let those call it the wind who will; there are fell voices on the air; and those stones are aimed at us." Damn straight! I nearly got hit!  
  
"I do call it the wind," Aragorn yells back from his place at the top of the column, "But that does not make what you say untrue. There are many evil and unfriendly things in the world that have little love for those that go on two legs, and yet are not in league with Sauron, but have purposes of their own. Some have been in this world longer then he." I shiver and press into Boromir's warmth. Sauron's bad enough.  
  
"Caradhas was called the Cruel, and had an ill name, long years ago, when rumor of Sauron had not been heard in these lands." And the dwarf makes his contribution. Can we make up our minds here?  
  
"It matters little who is the enemy, if we can not beat off his attack." Gandalf shouts, his beard iced up, and his hat looking fit to run away.  
  
"But what can we do?" Pippin calls out miserably. I smile at them, they're just too small. Not enough body warmth, not enough height, just . . .handicapped at this precise moment.  
  
"Either stop where we are, or go back, it is no good going on." Well, the wizard is just full of happy news today. "- bottom of a long hard slope. We should have no shelter there from snow, or stones - or anything else." Now, that's really comforting.  
  
"And it is no good going back while the storm holds," Aragorn shouts, hand held up to protect his face, "We have passed no place on the way up that offered more shelter then this cliff-wall we are under now."  
  
"Shelter!" Sam mutters. "If this is shelter, then one wall and no roof make a house." I laugh weakly and settle down while we wait the storm out. I doze uneasily, my head leaning forward, then jerking it back when it slips too far. Boromir rubs my back comfortingly, as he stares out into the snow. I glance blearily around for the Hobbits, and stare at where they should be, behind Bill, but aren't. Just snow. The information processes through my numbed brain, and I leap to my feet and run over to the hillocks of snow. "Boromir! The Hobbits! Help me dig them out!" I start digging frantically and unearth Merry, who coughs and opens his eyes. Boromir digs out Pippin then Frodo.  
  
"This will be the death of the halflings, Gandalf!" Boromir yells out as he stands Frodo on his feet. "It is useless to sit-"  
  
I tune out as I try to get Sam to wake up. "C'mon Sam! Wake up!" He breathes shallowly through blue tinted lips, then opens his eyes. "Walk around, slap your hands together." He numbly does as I tell him. I lose track of the conversation as I make the Hobbits wake up and move around. A hand nudges my shoulder and Boromir offers me a leather flask. "What is that?"  
  
"Miruvor. Take a mouthful, then give some to the Hobbits. It's an Elven drink that Gandalf had." I shrug and take a mouthful.  
  
"Whoa, that's better then vodka!" I grin at him as the warmth travels down my throat and through my chilled body. Boromir raises an eyebrow, and I turn to give the Hobbits some. I sigh in relief as I can see it take effect almost immediately.  
  
"What do you say to fire?" Boromir says suddenly. "The choice seems now between fire or death, Gandalf. Doubtless we shall be hidden from all unfriendly eyes when the snow has covered us, but that will not help us."  
  
"You can make a fire, if you can." Gandalf sighs wearily. "If there are any watchers that can endure this storm, then they can see us, fire or no." I huddle with the Hobbits for warmth as we watch with interest the others trying to light a fire. But not even Legolas or Gimli manages to light it. Finally, Gandalf reluctantly steps forward to do it. He picks up a bundle of wood, holds it aloft for a moment, then cries out "Naur an edraith ammen!" as he puts the wood onto his staff. It lights into blue and green flame and the Hobbits and I sigh happily as we put our hands to the fire. "If there are any to see, then I at least am revealed to them. I have written 'Gandalf is here' in signs that all can read from Rivendell to the mouths of Anduin."  
  
"I thought the blue and green flames were a nice touch though. All magic-y and pretty." I say. Gandalf quirks the corner of his mouth up in amusement at what I say. "Impressive, that's all." I get up as Legolas gives me a glare and go and sit in Boromir's lap. He sighs and wraps his cloak around us both as we stare into the now red and orange flames. I relax into his embrace, then shiver as he nibbles on my ear. Legolas and Aragorn stare at us in scandalized shock. "What?" I say in a choked voice as Boromir does more nice stuff to my ear tip.  
  
"He, he, he!" Legolas splutters.  
  
"Mmmhhmmm?" I hum to encourage Boromir. Boromir puts his hand up my top. My eyelids start to flutter under this combined assault on my erogenous zones.  
  
"He, you, ear, what?!"  
  
"Yeeessssss?"  
  
"Are you getting betrothed?" Aragorn asks in a direct fashion. I frown at him, what the? That was a weird question.  
  
"I dooon't think so. Are we, Boromir?"  
  
"Do you want to?" Boromir asks as he stops doing whatever and talks.  
  
"No. I didn't say stop!" I say as his hand stops moving. Boromir chuckles and recommences his attentions to my ear, now alternately breathing and gently biting on the sensitive tip. "Ohhhh."  
  
"He's biting your ear!" Legolas says angrily.  
  
"That's not all he's doing." I mutter quietly. Obviously not quietly enough, because Legolas snarls, leaps over the fire and drags me out of Boromir's grasp. "Damn it, Legolas! Put me down!" It's really hard to sound dignified when you're upside down. I pound very carefully on Legolas's back. Sure, Legolas has a nice arse, but I never wanted to see it from this close! "Put me down, you prancing Elf!" Legolas puts me down away from Boromir. I glare at him, then kick him in the shins. "Stupid, stupid Elf!" I stalk back over to Boromir as Legolas rubs his shins and glares at me. Mostly, the Fellowship is laughing at Legolas, except for Aragorn and Gandalf. I glower at them all, then get my blanket out and roll myself up in it. "I hate you all." I turn my back to them and ignore them.  
  
"C'mon, Cat, love, don't be like this." Boromir says softly as he runs his hand soothingly over my hair. "Legolas is a trifle straitlaced, is all." I hear Legolas give an angry snort. I relax despite myself.  
  
"You are aware that I would kill him if we didn't need him." I say through the blanket. "Slowly, painfully, with dull edged knives." Boromir laughs softly.  
  
"I feel a bit that way myself. But, c'mon, get up. We need to get out of this first, then you can kill him." Boromir offers. I sigh and sit up.  
  
"Can't stay mad when you offer something like that. I mean, the Elf in pain, what more could a girl wish for?" He grins, looking very smug. I shake my finger at him. "You are still-" He takes my hand and starts to kiss it. "Mmmm."  
  
"Could you two just stop it?" Merry says in a disgusted voice. I laugh and take my hand back. I feel much more cheerful now.  
  
"Let's discuss how I'm gonna kill Legolas for interrupting. I have ideas. . ." Legolas squirms under my steady glare.  
  
"Cat, I-"  
  
"You're in trouble." I interrupt him. "For an Elf, you have an amazing lack of tact or good sense." He has the grace to look embarrassed. He tries to talk again, and I hold my hand up. "Talk to the hand, 'cause the ears aren't listening. You are a bad Elf. Maybe it's connected to the royalty thing. Bad, bad Elf." I scold him. Merry and Pippin are laughing loudly, and even Aragorn looks amused. "You, sirrah, are no gentle Elf!" I start to laugh myself. Hehehe. I love tormenting Legolas. He's turning all red and flustered.  
  
"Leave Legolas alone, alright, Cat? When we get down off this mountain would be better." Boromir chides me gently and I nod in agreement.  
  
"Only for you, Boromir, would I stop tormenting the Elf. It's just too much fun. Watch the tips of his ears, they turn red when he's embarrassed." I whisper to Boromir. Legolas' ears twitch and do that thing and we laugh softly. 


	28. 28

So now, after all that, we're heading back down the mountain. Damn I hate this. Boromir and Aragorn had had to carry the Hobbits through this really bad, deep drifty bit. I trip suddenly over a hidden rock and my hands plunge through the snow onto a sharp rock underneath, cutting them open and letting blood flow. I yelp in surprised pain, then throw back my head and howl like a wolf as the mountain seizes me through the blood connection and drags me down into itself. Cold is the overwhelming sensation; cold, and a devastating icy rage. Why me? I cry to Caradhas, barely aware of my body as I float in its consciousness.  
  
Because I can, and I hate. It replies to me callously.  
  
Let me go. I plead with it.  
  
Why? You are warm, I feel you in myself and you are warm. I haven't been warm in an age at least.  
  
Let me go or I die.  
  
Do I care?  
  
Let me go.  
  
No. I have you now. Mine. A growl of possessiveness.  
  
I feel Caradhas sift my memories, sighing as it comes across ones of my mother and Boromir. It is a very disconcerting feeling, like icy fingers pawing through my mind.  
  
What is this? It presents me with a particularly poignant memory of my mother taking care of me.  
  
Love. Let me go. I numbly repeat, feeling myself starting to slip further into the cold.  
  
Yes.  
  
Caradhas accepts its copies of my memories. I sense my memories and the feelings attached to them flicker through my mind, and the extremely weird feeling of them being spun off out of my head. It's kinda like having a tooth extracted while under anesthetic. You feel it, but you're distanced from it. I spin up gasping for breath, teeth chattering, still screaming at the pain and shock. "Oh god, oh god, oh god." Boromir is cradling me in his arms and I cling to him, chanting my litany, "Oh god, oh god, oh god. . ."  
  
"What happened?" Boromir asks me gently.  
  
"Caradhas." I gasp in a breath. "Caradhas seized my mind and drew me down through my blood." I look at my bloody hands, which are missing areas of skin.  
  
"You froze to the rock." Legolas says as he crouches next to Boromir. "We had to pull you off."  
  
"Gah." Words are not coming. In fact, all the words are running away into the sunset, yelling back nasty things and sounding strangely like the ginger bread man. I suddenly jump up, nearly knocking out Boromir's head on the way, throw back my head and scream into the sky, "Whoever the FUCK it is that's screwing around with me, better get down here right now so I can kick its arse!" No irate gods come down to answer my foolish challenge. "Cowards!" I stomp off, away from the flabbergasted Fellowship, swearing loudly and continuously at, well, just about everything. "Hate this fucking world, oh yes I do. And I hate every misbegotten thing in it. Hate the fucking superior, snooty, goddamn annoying irritating Elves who all need to go and have a good shag. Well, actually, that's about all I hate." I pause, frown and think for a moment. "Ah, I hate the snow. Yes, definitely hate the snow. And there's no FUCKING coffee!" I whirl around and glare at the Fellowship. "You can all just sod off! Disappear back into Tolkien's mind, or wherever the fuck you came from and let me wake up, go home, and get back to my fairly normal life! Back to where I don't have to talk to people, and, and can hide in the bush and pretend my bitch of a day didn't happen. Where I can be mocked and humiliated, but hey, that's alright because at least there aren't things trying to eat me because I'm WARM!" I kick at the stone, tears running down my face again. "Fucking mountain! Come up here and kiss my arse, you fucking son of a bitch!" I growl, as it doesn't appear that it's happening and feeling this irrational need to make something bleed and whimper in pain.  
  
"Cat?" Boromir walks over to me, and I look up at him. My mouth twists bitterly. Want to love me? Gotta fight for it.  
  
I slide my sword out of my scabbard and warn him off. "Something's gonna bleed today, and I already am." I throw the sword away and look past him. Legolas. Perfect. I dodge Boromir, and go for Legolas instead. My first punch catches him by surprise, and then he's back up in my face. I can hear myself laughing somewhere, but that's all right because I need to bleed, need to fight something that's here. I laugh and my mouth is aching with it and then Leggy ain't fighting me anymore, just holding my arms away as I laugh myself into a kind of sanity. "Sorry and thanks, Leggy babe." I close my eyes in relief as the weird feeling goes away.  
  
"Babe? I am almost three thousand years old." Legolas sounds quite insulted.  
  
"Different world, terms have changed. Quite a bit, though you can still call a baby babe, also means whoah, hot sexy guy, or friend, or lots of stuff. Term of endearment. And that was me needing to touch base with reality, because I'm still a bit wigged by the whole mountain thing." I add on in a murmur so only he can hear, "And it was either fight someone, or do naughty things with Boromir, and I don't see many places to hide, do you?" His ears blush very faintly at the top, and I detach myself from his now nerveless hands. "Thanks again. Is this the part where I cry and get your top all wet again?" I grin at him, feeling much better. "He's real good at the older brother thing, ya know." I tell the others and Legolas' ears flush redder. I reach up and ruffle his hair, he grabs my hand and looks at me with a raised eyebrow. I push my lower lip out and pout at him. A smile appears on his face as I stick my tongue out at him and cross my eyes. He lets go of my hand and I bounce, well I would be bouncing if the snow didn't cling to my feet, over to Boromir and fling my arms around him. He hugs me back, then his hands slide down my back and I stand on tiptoes and wriggle. A growl of interest and ownership and I look up at him; slowly lick my upper lip, mischief dancing through my eyes.  
  
"And you're back with us?"  
  
"But barely. Scary, dear god, but that was terrifying. Goddamn mountain. Stole my memories right out of my head." I pout and then hide my face against his shoulder. "Can I just say once more that was one of the most terrifying things that has happened to me while I'm here? What is it with the evil things that get into my head and want to eat me?" I whine in irritation. "I mean, I know I'm cute and all, but damn!"  
  
"Not just cute, a beauty beyond words. A vision. An enchantment that would enthrall the world, if they had but eyes to see." Boromir's voice slips into the mode I have tagged 'courtly lover' in my head. Deep voice, syllables carefully enunciated, and a whole nother way of speaking.  
  
"Mmm, pretty." I mumble into his chest and he strokes my hair. Aragorn politely coughs, and we step apart, my face a little flushed and grinning wildly.  
  
"Shall we continue? We still have many miles to cover before dark." Arargorn turns and starts down the hill again. Well, mountain really, but a general downwards direction. I poke my tongue out at his back and slip my hand in Boromir's as we follow him.  
  
"I really feel like singing again." I confide to Boromir thoughtfully.  
  
"So sing something. As Gandalf said, anything that is looking for us knows where we are, and what we are doing. So sing, lift our spirits."  
  
"I'll just clarify that this was written by a guy, ok?" He nods, looking at me with amusement as I open my mouth and swing into Shaggy's 'Wasn't me.' "Alright, honey came in and she caught me redhanded, sleeping with the girl next door, picture this we were both caught naked, banging on the bathroom floor. How could I forget that I had given her an extra key? All this time she was standing there, she never took her eyes off me." Legolas is giving me odd looks, so I wave at him with my free hand. I skip the rap bit, because I never understood it anyway. "But she caught me on the counter. Wasn't me. Caught me banging on the sofa. Wasn't me." I drop my voice on each 'wasn't me' so I sound a little bit more like what I remember. The Hobbits are smiling as I sing, so hey, done some good work there. "She saw the marks on my shoulder. Wasn't me. Heard the words that I told her. Wasn't me. Heard the screams getting louder. Wasn't me. She said I said it was over!  
  
"Honey came in and she caught me redhanded sleeping with the girl next door." I start the chorus again, and Merry starts to sing along with me. Aw, the little Hobbit is so cute! And actually a good singer. Nice light tenor voice. I take my hand out of Boromir's and start to make large gestures to go with the song. The words change, but Merry only stumbles for a second and sings what I sing. I give him a thumbs up. "I had tried to keep her from what she was about to see, why should she believe me when I tell her it wasn't me?" I sing the next rap bit because this one had actually been understandable. The Hobbits laugh along with me as I start the next chorus and verse. "Wanna tell her that I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused." My voice spirals upwards, getting louder as my touch with reality comes rushing back. "I've been listening to your reasoning, it makes no sense at all." Merry keeps joining me on the choruses and then we finish. I bow my head and the other Hobbits clap. "Well, that was fun." I grin at Merry, who smiles back.  
  
"Interesting song."  
  
"Written by a man, may I just elucidate you all? Guy talking to another guy about a girl."  
  
"When we reach the bottom and Aragorn lets us rest, will you sing again? Your songs.have such emotion in them." Legolas says almost wistfully. "It is interesting to compare techniques and lyrics."  
  
"Well, the songs aren't mine, and I just open my mouth and let the song come out. Good natural voice, no training. Sure, it's cool, Leggy. I'll sing." I smile at him and he smiles back. I think he is very lonely on this journey. There are no other Elves for him to talk to. I am (supposedly) half an Elf, so I have the blood, but Aragorn has the language and the soul of an Elf. But he's just.not. Poor Aragorn. Not Elf, but not really human either. Way big destiny laid on him. Yuck, way big thoughts for going down a mountain on, so I shake them out of my head and start thinking about what I can sing tonight. 


	29. 29

Ok. Biiiggg talk about Morior and everyone digs the nasties out of the closet for display. I shake my head and stay stubbornly silent when they ask my opinion. Not talking. Speak no evil monkey, that's me. They decide to go to Morior after all, and I sigh in relief. After the council is over, we climb to the top of a small hill for protection from the owners of the howls we hear drifting on the icy wind. Wargs, that's what Aragorn called them and I'm not arguing with the Power Ranger on this one. Uhuh. Being good quiet kittie. Snuggling with her big protector. Shh, quiet. A particularly evil and chilling howl rips through the eerie chorus, and I look up, startled. My jaw drops open and I try to disappear inside Boromir. *That's* a Warg? Shite.  
  
Gandalf stands up and strides forward, brandishing his staff. "Listen, Hound of Sauron! Gandalf is here. Fly, if you value your foul skin! I will shrivel you from tail to snout if you come inside this ring." The Warg snarls at him, undecided, and then springs towards us in a great leap. I let out a short scream and try to scramble backwards, forgetting that I am already pressed up against Boromir as much as physically possible. And then the Warg collapses with Legolas' arrow in its throat.  
  
"That was so not in the movie," I comment peevishly, a little ashamed of my fear. "I mean, look at the bugger. It's fricking *huge*. How am I meant to kill that?"  
  
"You will. I'll watch your back," Boromir calmly reassures me. "Do not be ashamed of your fear, for you have not seen yet the evils this world contains."  
  
"Right, no more whiny bitch moment. Sword, bow, arrows. All here and accounted for." I grip my weapons, sounding a lot more confident then I feel. Ack. That *thing* lying there in death is so large, and I wonder again, just how the *fuck* am I supposed to kill these things? I can but try. "Is it just me, or has that god awful howling stopped?"  
  
"No, it's stopped," Merry tells me cheerfully.  
  
"Good to see I'm not really going mad then, because I could have sworn they were doing the whole 'grr, I'm so evil, you just wait until I get up there' play a few minutes ago. Grr, bad dog." I look up at Aragon. "When's my watch, by the by?"  
  
"Now, actually. Will you be alright to sit up by yourself?"  
  
"Yep. Managed it all those other nights, days, whatevers haven't I? I see so much as a whiff of a Warg, I'll wake Boromir up." Aragon just nods and lays back down to sleep. Soon the others do the same, except for Boromir. "Sleep. I'll wake you if Wargs pour up the hill. Well, I'll probably wake everyone up with my hysterical screaming and incoherent babbling." Boromir nods and lays down, but I can see his eyes watching me. "See, sword, bow. I'm pretty well armed, and I managed to knock you onto your arse last week, so I think I'll live for at least the first few minutes until you get your sword and defend me." Boromir closes his eyes and I watch over the camp, moving around to make sure I stay awake. Nothing happens, until the moon starts to sink into the west and I can see Frodo stirring, but the others sleeping soundly. And then the howls start up again, and I can see the Wargs start to rush up the hill. "Wargs! They're attacking!" They all jump to their feet, grabbing blindly for weapons.  
  
"Fling fuel on the fire!" Gandalf tells the Hobbits and I help them do that, deducing very rightly that my place here is behind the experienced fighters. "Draw your blades and stand back to back!"  
  
The Hobbits quickly do that, and I join Legolas, nocking my bow and drawing the arrow back to my cheek, aim and let fly. The arrow thuds very finally into a Warg's chest, sending it arse over tip down the hill. The Wargs flow like gray shadows into the circle of stones, and mine and Legolas' bows sing as we let loose with a volley of shafts. Boromir hews the head off one of them, and Aragorn and Gimli are doing very well too.  
  
Then suddenly, Gandalf seems to grow, and I have to drop my bow and draw my sword as a Warg leaps for my throat. I skewer it and it bites and thrusts itself further down on my sword as it tries to rip my throat out. "Naur an edraith ammen! Naur dan i ngaurhoth!" Gandalf cries out and the tree above him explodes into flame, very dramatic.  
  
I jerk my sword arm back, and then quickly thrust back in as the Warg refuses to die. The fire leaps from treetop to treetop and the entire hillside is bathed in white light, and my sword gleams and flickers where it's not covered in blood. As the Warg finally shudders into death, I notice that the others weapons are doing the same, and Legolas' arrows look like they're on fire. His last arrow flies into the heart of a *huge* Warg, and the others turn tail and flee as this large one falls. I lean on my sword and wipe it shakily on the grass as the fire dies down and ashes dance on the wind. I look down at the Warg I have killed, and feel distinctly ill. I have never killed anything before. I very quietly make my way behind one of the stones and vomit up the food I ate last night. I wipe my mouth and lean back on my heels, still shaking inside.  
  
"Do not worry. The first time I went into battle, I threw up afterwards as well." Boromir crouches down beside me and puts his hand on my shoulder. "It is one thing to talk, quite another to do. You did well today." He gives my shoulder a final pat and stands to go back to the group. I lean against the cool side of the stone and shudder as I fight the dry heaves that want to continue. As dawn rises fully, I stand and walk back inside the stone circle.  
  
"Hey, didn't we kill a whole lot of these Warg things?" I look around puzzled. There's not a body to be seen, and only Legolas' arrows and mine litter the ground.  
  
"It is as I feared," Gandalf says, and he looks distinctly worried. "These were no ordinary wolves hunting for food in the wilderness. Let us eat quickly and go!" We gobble down food, and set off quickly after Legolas and Gandalf bind up minor wounds the company suffered. I hiss in pain as Legolas slathers lotion down my arms. The Warg last night ripped my arms to shreds with its nails, and I didn't even notice until Boromir pointed out the blood slowly seeping down my arms.  
  
"Fuck!" I swear rather loudly. Legolas tuts at my language and bends back down to his task as I shiver in the early morning light, my shirt off so he can tend to my wounds better. "Hurry up, Legolas, I'm freezing." He just raises a delicate eyebrow at me, and goes back to being slow and thorough. I look over his shoulder into Boromir's annoyed eyes and I poke my tongue out at him. Sitting here half naked, wearing my pants and a bra is not my idea of fun when it's about ten degrees. Maybe when it's about twenty-five, and I'm about to lose more clothes, but not now, and not here. And the wrong guy, may I add.  
  
"Would you prefer it if the scratches became infected?" Legolas asks me as he looks up from his bandaging for a moment.  
  
"No, but I'm co-old!" I know I'm whining, but I am! It's fricking freezing in here, Mr. Bigglesworth! Legolas rises and steps away. "You done?"  
  
"Yes. You can put your shirt back on."  
  
"Thank god!" I pull my shirt gingerly over my head, grimacing slightly as the cloths pulls against the scratches. I get to my feet and gather up my pack and bow, as the Fellowship starts off. We have to go quickly, and reach the doors to Morior before dark. Gimli travels by Gandalf's side, he must want to meet his cousin or whatever, Balin. I don't have the heart to tell him that all the Dwarves who went into Morior are dead.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Finally we reach Morior's Gate. Well, where it should be anyway. I grip Pippin's shoulder and tell him very earnestly, and very quietly, "Don't you *dare* throw any rocks in the water, or I will personally flay you alive." He nods; looking a bit frightened. I pat his shoulder. Good.  
  
"There are the Walls of Morior," Gandalf declares, pointing across the waters. "And there the Gate stood once upon a time, the Elven Door at the end of the road from Hollin by which we have come. But this way is blocked. None of the Company, I guess, will wish to swim this gloomy water at the end of the day. It has an unwholesome look."  
  
"We must find a way round the northern edge," Gimli says. "The first thing for the Company to do is to climb up by the main path and see where that will lead us. Even if there were no lake, we could not get our baggage-pony up this stair."  
  
"But in any case we cannot take the poor beast into the Mines," Gandalf says, looking back to where Sam stands with Bill. So it's bye-bye pony time. Pity. Bill is cuddlesome. "The road under the mountains is a dark road, and there are places narrow and steep which he cannot tread, even if we can."  
  
"Poor old Bill!" Frodo remarks sadly. "I had not thought about that. And poor Sam! I wonder what he will say?"  
  
"I am sorry," Gandalf says, placing a hand on Frodo's shoulder. "Poor Bill has been a useful companion, and it goes to my heart to cut him adrift now. I would have traveled lighter and brought no animal, least of all this one that Sam is so fond of, if I had had my way. I feared all along that we should be obliged to take this road." With that, Gandalf turns and starts to lead us along the narrow, chipped pathway that runs alongside the lake. Sometimes we have to tread in and over little rivulets of dirty water. Ew. If this was home, I'd say go and find the evil global conglomerate that's cutting costs and ruining the environment, but there are no conglomerates here.  
  
Finally we come to the northern edge of the lake and the sun is slipping from the sky. I stare in horror and disgust at the creek that flows, or rather crawls over our path. Green and stagnant, stinking like nothing I've ever smelt. Rotting vegetation and dead hopes. Gimli tests it, and it's shallow, so we start to make our way across it, scum covered water hiding slippery, scum covered rocks. "Ew." We start to pick our way across it and I curse as my boot slips off a rock and into a deeper patch of water with a splash. "Fuck!" Legolas glares at me. "Kiss my ass, Elf." I glare back. He looks back to the front and I glower at his back. This is just not a good day for me.  
  
As Sam leads Bill, the last of the company up onto dry ground at the other end, I hear a plop, like a fish leaping out of the water, just a soft sound but as I whirl back to look across the lake, I see a series of ripples, great rings of them widening outward from a point far out in the lake. Badness. Great big monster in the water. A bubbling sound and Legolas frowns next to me as the lake subsides back into the dead stillness that has characterized it for most of today. Gandalf sets off quickly and we all follow him. Soon, we come upon dead holly trees, hundreds of them. Stumps and branches of them lie in the water, slowly rotting. But there is a sign of life in this dead land. Two great holly trees stand together under the cliffs, huge, immense, throwing dark shadows up the cliff face, and I hear Frodo gasp in astonishment beside me. Yep, they're damn big trees.  
  
"Well, here we are at last!" Gandalf says semi-cheerfully. "Here the Elven- way from Hollin ended." Yada yada yada, Elves used to be friends with dwarves. Whoop-ti-fucking-do. I sit down on a rock and empty water out of my boots. Yuuccckkk.  
  
"It was not the fault of Dwarves that the friendship waned," Gimli says gruffly, glaring daggers (or should that be axes?) at Legolas. Legolas straightens slowly.  
  
"I have not heard it was the fault of the Elves." Legolas and Gimli go into full testosterone pissing contest mode. And they say women are emotional.  
  
"I have heard both;" Gandalf cuts in, preventing almost certain bloodshed, "And I will not give judgment now. But I beg you both, Legolas and Gimli, at least to be friends," I hah scornfully at that, and Gandalf gives me a mild reproving glance, "and to help me. I need you both. The doors are shut and hidden, and the sooner we find them the better. Night is at hand!" Gandalf turns to the rest of us. "While I am searching, will you each make ready to enter the Mines? For here I fear we must say farewell to our good beast of burden. You must lay aside much of the stuff that we brought against bitter weather: you will not need it inside, nor, I hope when we come through and journey on down into the South. Instead each of us must take a share of what the pony carried especially the food and waterskins." I can see Sam getting angrier as Gandalf continues. Uh oh.  
  
"But you can't leave poor old Bill behind in this forsaken place, Mr. Gandalf! I won't have it, and that's flat. After he has come so far and all!" Sam is very angry and distressed, but his hands still run smoothly and comfortingly over Bill's head. I put my boots back on and go around to him and place a hand on his shoulder as Gandalf continues.  
  
"I am sorry, Sam, but when the Door opens I do not think you will be able to drag your Bill inside, into the long dark of Moria. You will have to choose between Bill and your master." I frown at Gandalf. That's not a nice thing to say.  
  
"He'd follow Mr. Frodo into a dragon's den if I led him," protested Sam. "It'd be nothing short of murder to turn him loose with all these wolves about."  
  
"It will be short of murder, I hope," Gandalf says quietly and comes over to where we stand. He lays his hand on Bill's head. "Go with words of guard and guiding on you," he says in a low voice. "You are a wise beast and have learned much in Rivendell. Make your ways to places where you can find grass, and so come in time to Elrond's house, or wherever you wish to go. There, Sam! He will have quite as much chance of escaping wolves and getting home as we have."  
  
Sam stands sullenly by Bill, not answering Gandalf. Bill puts his muzzle up to Sam's ear, comforting the Hobbit. Swear to god, that pony is almost human! Sam bursts into tears and after fumbling with the straps for a minute, throws Bill's packs to the ground. We start to divide up the equipment into what we're keeping, what we're throwing away, and what will be carried by who.  
  
"Sam, don't worry about Bill," I whisper into his ear. He looks up at me, eyes still streaming unhappy tears. "I swear to you, Bill reaches home safely. I have read it!" Sam looks at me suspiciously. I grip his shoulder and shake him gently. "Would I lead you wrong about Bill? I rather like him myself, you know." Bill snorts and nibbles at my top. "Yeah, I love you too, you 'orrible beast. Now, quit that. I need this shirt." I stroke his nose and Bill whickers in amusement as he backs off.  
  
"You swear it?" Sam asks me hoarsely, voice thickened with tears.  
  
"Swear by whatever god you care to name. Now, let's get working. Speaking of working, where's that Elf? Or Gimli, for that matter." I look up to find the non-working members of the Fellowship, namely the wizard, the Elf and the Dwarf. Sam and I start to snicker at the picture the three present. Legolas has his ear up to the wall, running the palms of his hands absently over the stone, Gimli is tapping along it with the handle of his axe looking very serious indeed, and Gandalf is just staring at it. "Um. Well, they seem to be busy." The Hobbits, Boromir and I sit back, the work of sorting out what we need to take into the mines done.  
  
"Well, here we are and all ready," Merry says, "but where are the doors? I don't see any sign of them."  
  
"Dwarf-doors are not made to be seen when shut," Gimli says in his gruff voice, stroking his beard slightly. "They are invisible, and their own masters cannot find them or open them, if their secret is forgotten."  
  
"But this Door was not made to be a secret only to Dwarves," Gandalf says, coming to life suddenly. "Unless things are altogether changed, eyes that know what to look for may discover the signs." The wizard walks forward to where between the two huge holly trees is a smooth place. Gimli and Legolas step back to let the old man do what he would. He runs his hands over the surface of the stone, murmuring to it. Then he steps back. "Look! Can you see anything now?"  
  
The door slowly appears, lines of silvery light glimmering. Although some of the lines of the decorations were blurred or broken, and occasionally in areas of the main door outline, the majority of the door appeared whole. Sam let out a soft sigh of wonder next to me as we looked at it.  
  
"There are the emblems of Durin!" Gimli says.  
  
"And there is the Tree of the High Elves!" Legolas adds.  
  
"And the Star of the House of Feanor," Gandalf says, identifying the last of the decorations. "They are wrought of ithildin that mirrors only starlight and moonlight, and sleeps until it is touched by one who speaks words long forgotten in Middle Earth. It is long since I have heard them, and I thought deeply before I could recall them again."  
  
"What does the writing say?" Frodo asks. "I thought I knew the elf letters, but I cannot read these."  
  
"That makes two of us," I say to him absently. And here I sit, thinking I'd got pretty good over the months in Rivendell. Think again, Cat and don't be so presumptuous!  
  
"The words are in the elven-tongue of the west of Middle-earth in the Elder Days," Gandalf answers. "But they do not say anything of importance. They say only : The Doors of Durin, Lord of Moria. Speak, friend, and enter. And underneath small and faint is written: I, Narvi, made them. Celebrimbor of Hollin drew these signs."  
  
"What does it mean by speak, friend and enter?" Merry asks.  
  
I keep my mouth shut, though Boromir turns a thoughtful gaze on me. I am *not* saying a word. In spite of all puppy dog looks that might to seek to persuade me otherwise. Uh uh. Not a blinking, blooming, bloody word.  
  
"That is plain enough," Gimli says easily. "If you are a friend, speak the password, the doors will open and you can enter."  
  
"Yes," Gandalf says, stroking his beard thoughtfully as he gazes on the doors. "These doors are particularly governed by words. Some dwarf-gates will only open at special times, or for particular persons; and some have locks and keys that are still needed when all necessary times and words are known. These doors have no keys. In the days of Durin, they were not secret. They usually stood open and doorwards sat here. But if they were shut, any who knew the opening word could speak it and pass in. at least it is so recorded, is it not, Gimli?"  
  
"It is," the dwarf says gruffly. "But what the word was is not remembered. Narvi and his craft and all his kin have vanished from this earth."  
  
"But do not you know the word, Gandalf?" Boromir says in surprise.  
  
"No!" Gandalf says bluntly.  
  
Everyone except Aragorn registers some sort of shock. Merry and Pippin for once, are speechless. Even Legolas's Elven composure is shaken. Aragorn looks like a lump. Damn Elvish trained man. God, he pisses me off sometimes. He gets the arse holier then though look just as well as the Elves do, and he's not even Elvish! Bastard.  
  
"Then what is the use of bringing us to this accursed spot?" Boromir asks, glancing back at the dark waters with a barely perceptible shudder.  
  
I'm glad I know we get in. I really wouldn't like to walk all that way back. The water's disgusting.  
  
"You told us that you had once passed through the Mines. How could that be, if you did not know how to enter?" Boromir continues.  
  
"The answer to your first question, Boromir," Gandalf rumbles. "Is that I do not know the word - yet. But we shall soon see. And," he adds with a glint in his eyes (damn wizard), "you may ask what is the use of my deeds when they are proved useless. As for your other question: do you doubt my tale? Or do you have no wits left?" I bristle slightly and Boromir frowns. "I did not enter this way, I came from the East.  
  
"If you wish to know, I will tell you that these doors open outwards. From the inside, you may thrust them open with your hands. From the outside nothing will move them save the spell of command. They cannot be forced inwards."  
  
"What are you going to do then?" Pippin asks, undaunted by Gandalf's glower. Good for the hobbit.  
  
"Knock on the doors with your head, Peregrin Took," Gandalf said. "But if that does not shatter them, and I am allowed a little peace from foolish questions, I will seek for the opening words.  
  
"I once knew every spell in all the tongues of Elves or Men or Orcs that was ever used for such a purpose. I can still remember ten score of them without searching in my mind. But only a few trials, I think, will be needed; and I shall not have to call on Gimli for words of the secret dwarf- tongue that they teach to none. The opening words were Elvish, like the writing on the arch: that seems certain."  
  
He steps up to the rock again, and lightly touched the center of the star with his staff.  
  
"Annon edhellen, edro hi ammen! Fennas nogothrim, lasto beth lammen!" he says in a commanding voice. The silver lines fade, but the stone does not stir. The hobbits glance at one another and Boromir rests his head in his hands. Only Aragorn still looks unperturbed.  
  
Gandalf keeps trying. He varies the pitch, the tone, the pace. He mixes the words around in different combinations. He tries other spells. He says single words of Elvish. Nothing happens. We just sit there getting colder and colder as the winds blow around us. I let Boromir wrap his arms around my waist and lean back into the warmth of his body. Finally, the wizard step up to the door and bashes the star with his staff.  
  
"Edro! Edro!" he cries out in a wrathful voice. He follows it with every word that means 'open' in all the languages of Middle-earth. Then he throws his staff on the ground and sits in front of the door in silence.  
  
The howling of wolves drifts in on the wind and Bill snorts and tosses his head uneasily. Sam springs to his feet and whispers softly to the frightened pony.  
  
"Do not let him run away!" Boromir says. "It seems that we shall have need of him still, if the wolves do not find us. How I hate this foul pool!" He picks up a rock and throws it into the pool.  
  
"Boromir, no!" I shout, too late. God, I should have read the books more carefully. In the movie, it's the hobbits. Obviously, in the books it was Boromir. Oh, goddamn.  
  
He looks at me, startled as the stone vanished with a soft slap; but at the same instant, there was a swish and a bubble. Great rippling rings form on the surface out beyond where the stone had fallen and they move slowly towards the foot of the cliff.  
  
"Why did you do that, Boromir?" Frodo asks fearfully. "I hate this place, too, and I am afraid. I don't know of what: not of wolves, or the dark behind the doors, but of something else. I am afraid of the pool. Don't disturb it!"  
  
"What is it, Cat, love?" Boromir asks me as I watch the ripples move steadily towards us. "Did I do something ill?"  
  
I don't answer him, I watch the waters.  
  
"Cat?"  
  
Suddenly, Gandalf leaps to his feet, laughing. An odd sound in this dark place. "I have it! Of course, of course! Absurdly simple, like most riddles when you see the answer." Picking up his staff, he stands before the rock and says in a clear voice, "mellon!"  
  
The star shines out briefly then fades. Then silently, the outline of a great door appears, thought it was not visible before. The stone cracks along the middle and swings outwards inch by inch until the two halves of the door lay flush with the stone walls. Through the opening, a shadowy stair can be seen climbing steeply up. Other then that, it's all veiled in impenetrable darkness, aside from the first few steps. The Fellowship stares in wonder, including me. It's so much more impressive to see in real life.  
  
"I was wrong after all," Gandalf says. Whoa, I wish I had a video camera right now. The mighty, all knowing, all seeing Gandalf admits he's wrong! Something to record for posterity. "And Gimli too. Merry, all of people, was on the right track. The opening word was inscribed on the archway the whole time! The translation should have been : Say 'friend' and enter. I had only to speak the Elvish word for friend and the doors opened. Quite simple. Too simple for a learned lore-master in these suspicious days. Those were happier days. Now let us go!"  
  
He walks forward and lays his foot on the first step. Several things happen, all at the same moment. Frodo cries out in shock and fear, Bill neighs wildly in equine terror and gallops off along the shoreline, Sam leaps after the pony for a moment then hearing Frodo, runs back, weeping and cursing. The rest of the Fellowship swings around as I leap forward with same, knife out as the waters of the lake seethe, rippling like a bowlful of snakes.  
  
A long sinous tentacle, pale green in color, had crawled out of the lake and seized Frodo by the ankle and was currently dragging him into the water. Sam slashes at it with his knife and I join him, teeth bared in a grimace of disgust. I grab Frodo's hands and pull him back to the shore, away from the waters as Sam stabs the fingered tentacle with his knife. Twenty other arms come rippling out, the waters boil and there is a terrible stench coming with it.  
  
"Into the gateway! Up the stairs! Quick!" Gandalf shouts.  
  
This breaks the paralysis that grips the other members of the Fellowship as I help Frodo back up to where everyone is standing, Sam running after me. Everyone runs inside the darkness of the mines. The two hobbits and I are barely a few steps inside and Gandalf has just begun to climb when the tentacles writhe across the shore and grip at the stone. One wriggles across the threshold and I stamp on it, it recoils as we three move faster away from it. Gandalf pauses for an instant, as if to try and remember what word will close the doors and shut the monster out but there is no need. The tentacles pull the doors across, slamming them shut with a horrible grinding crash, sealing us within the darkness of Morior. Sam clings to Frodo's arm as we collapse on a step in the blackness.  
  
"Poor old Bill!" he says in a choked voice. "Poor old Bill! Wolves and snakes! But the snakes were too much for him. I had to choose, Mr Frodo. I had to come with you."  
  
My heart aches for the two of them and I smooth Sam's hair back from his forehead.  
  
"He'll be alright, Sam," I whisper as Gandalf goes down past us. I hear him set his staff against the doors, and they tremble, groaning slightly, but do not open. We have no other path now, but into the darkness. Into shadow. And into flame. I shudder slightly. "It'll be alright," I say then hide my head in my hands.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
And whoa, has this chap been a long time coming. Thank you to the faithful, indeed!  
  
DitzCat. 


End file.
